Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Second Half Questions: The Bullpen

Now that the season has reached the half-way point, it means it's time for Alright Hamilton to break down the team's weaknesses and strengths while putting together a plan to improve the team. Because we're a sports blog, and that's what we do.

It's more fun to focus on a specific weakness than heap praise on a strength, so let's just jump right into it. The bullpen.

The path between Rochester and the Metrodome is as worn out as a 47-year old stripper, and the Twins are still no closer to solving their problems. They've had twelve different pitchers throw at least one inning in relief:

Joe Nathan
Jesse Crain
Matt Guerrier
Juan Morillo
Jose Mijares
Luis Ayala
Bobby Keppel
Craig Breslow
Brain Duensing
Sean Henn
Philip Humber

While reading those names, I get the same foggy remembrance, (hey I remember that guy!) as I do when I look at mid-nineties Twins rosters. The funny thing is that Gardenhire and Anderson have done a decent job piecing this thing together, turning the weakness from glaring to noticeable.

Solution time

What if I told you the Twins already own the rights to a relief pitcher with an outstanding history? You'd probably be intrigued. If you're not, you'd have already stopped reading. And if you genuinely think I have an acceptable solution, you should stop reading anyway, because you're going to be disappointed. This man has thrown 12o major league innings, sports a 2.91 ERA and has 142 strikeouts to just 37 walks. That's right, it's Pat Neshek. He was almost an All-Star just two years ago.

Neshek would be a great addition, as he would give the Twins a true eighth inning guy, the much needed bridge to closer Joe Nathan. The vegan would probably take the role from decidedly non-vegan Jose Mijares.

It's too bad he can't pitch this year on a count of his 0ff-season Tommy John surgery.

Continuing the in-house solutions, let's take a look at the minors. What if I told you there's an arm pitching in Rochester with a major league resumé, playoff experience and a great fastball?


GladdenBattinGlove said...

I don't understand why you need a UCL to pitch anyway. Neshek is getting paid to take a vacation in Florida.

good satire.

bizmarkie507 said...

Morillo haha. It seems like he was here for like a week.How long do you think Keppel can keep this up?

TwinsWin83 said...

Mike you must not have read into that story about the stripper too much or you would have noticed that youve actualy meet the pastor the stripper extorted before.

He was the pastor who did the introductions and had to overlook my wedding in Valley City because it was his church I got married at. Me and Dani were supposed to do a marriage preperation course with him before the wedding but declined. I wonder if there would have been a lesson on not paying strippers for sex.

Small world eh? Small world full of strippers.

This story was supposed to be a satire? Naw.

haasertime said...

it's almost as if Matt Tolbert has never played baseball before 2009.

I think Keppel is great

small world full of strippers and pastors who pay them. great, great it's all great.

soup said...

Haas, you're not doing it right.

When a Twins blog complains about the bullpen, you're supposed to say that we need to call up Delaney and Salma. That's the solution. They have low ERAs!!!

haasertime said...

is a low ERA good or bad?