Monday, July 13, 2009

Joe Mauers Rap Song

Michael Cuddyer spilled the beans, embarrassing the pants off Joe Mauer by revealing that he raps. He claims no one will ever hear the recorded rhymes, but we've managed to grab a yellowing notebook page on which the following words were written.

Socializin' and speaking was never my forté
But I learned all I need from my dad's Hit Away
Ya know I could have gone and played football at Florida State
But hometown guy, playin for the Twins, yeah it was fate
Now I play in Minneapolis underneath a dome
I hit bombs, write rhymes and rock my sideburn comb
I put a studio in my house so I can work on my flow,
but when I'm stumblin on my words, I just say, 'ya know'

A sweet swing in the spring, you know I'm Joe Mauer
Takin on all comers in the summers, and now I've got power
Still playin ball in the fall, hittin homers by the hour
If you didn't know then, by now ya know I'm Joe Mauer

Millions of marriage proposals every night is what I gets
and I'm not sure the occupation in which I'll have more hits
Ya know it hasn't always been money and fame
I had to go thru hell before garnering this acclaim
and my road to the top has never been told
I never got no movie like 8 mile road
Middle class S.T.P, and a private catholic school
You think that sounds easy but I think that you're a fool


Tons of natural talent won't get you to the top
unless you're workin' hard, you'll be a Delmon - flop
I wasn't built to withstand this kind of prominence
I've had to block it out to maintain that dominance
I'd strike out once and I was on the front page
Ya know that ain't too easy at such a susceptible age
And through all that I became a better man
Ya know I could hit .350 with just a frying pan



Josh Johnson said...

Haha! Classic.

Anonymous said...

Even Mauer's bling is understated.


Anonymous said...

Those tattoo initials on Mauer's forearm -- do they say GDP, as in grounded into a double play?


Anonymous said...

No...STP as in St. Paul.


-- Suppertime

Karleeee said...

you are full of win

andrew said...

This is amazing...