Weekend Blog Notes Post

Updated AL standings: (Tuesday morning)

Yankees         91-59
Twins             90-60        1     
Rays               89-60       1.5
Rangers          83-66      a bunch

If it were 1968, the Twins would be in the middle of a massive pennant race, just a half game from the World Series. The game is certainly slower, with lower stakes now, yes?

I suspect Gardenhire will give some guys a break and start setting the playoff rotation. Which is fine, because the Twins will host the first round of the playoffs no matter what. But it's natural to go for the number one spot after dispensing of the White Sox.

Clinch

The magic number is eight. Here's the obligatory sentence explaining what the previous sentence means: any combination of eight Twins wins or White Sox losses and the division is officially wrapped up. So, the earliest the Twins can clinch is Monday, but that would only come if the Twins won their next four games and the White Sox lost their next four.

Division clinch night could be a long one, since the White Sox head to the west coast on Monday, meaning their games won't be over until about two hours after the Twins are done. Here's the best case scenario: Twins win their next four in a row, White Sox win one over the weekend, but lose Monday night, whittling the magic number to 1 going into the Tuesday game. Twins win. Take a lap. That's that. Although it would be neat to celebrate at home during the daytime on Wednesday afternoon.

But don't be surprised if they clinch in Detroit next weekend.

White Sox - Lovable Losers?

There was an interesting take in the Chicago Sun-Times today by something called a Rick Morrissey. He basically says he'll take the chaotic, unpredictable ride that the White Sox provide over the Twins steady winning ways. The author clearly has a huge home-town bias, but it's a natural blow back to all the, Twins do it the right way garbage that people in Chicago hear all the time garbage. (including from their own manager.) I think the whole column is a bunch of crap.

I'll ask all you admirers of the ''Twins Way'' which you would prefer: A franchise that year after year does things by the book or a franchise with a feuding general manager and manager that has the 2005 World Series title in its possession?

Well, maybe he has a point.

Brent Lillibridge - Lovable loser with a great sense of humor? (This is the last time we'll have to mention the White Sox this season)
Light-hitting White Sox infielder Brent Lillibridge got some press earlier this week for tweeting about his midnight date with a video game store. Yep, he stood in line late Monday night for the release of the new Halo game, which reminded many Twins fans of Lew Ford (although he was an old-school nerd.)

The part that I find funny about the whole thing is Brent's lame Twitter bio.  

Play for the Chicago White Sox. Have a great sense of humor. Have a great wife, come join me on the magic carpet ride.

Who says, "I have a great sense of humor."? Is this eHarmony? He must laugh at all his own jokes.

Or maybe he's just trying to be funny?


Fanatic Jack - free to be you and me

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a short poem about Twins curmudgeon, Fanatic Jack.It was meant to be a playful jab, but Jack apparently took it hard. After he mentioned the ode on his podcast (14 minutes in), he announced he was done with Twitter. Which is truly a shame, because I really did enjoy his opinions. The Twins blogosphere is rich with differing thought and opinion, and that's what makes it great. If everyone felt the same way and had the same things to say about the Twins, the internet fan experience would be very boring. To borrow a phrase from Savoy Brown - wouldn't it be a real shame if we were all the same?
_________________________________________________________________________
Have a good weekend, dudes.

Season thus far: Stream of Consciousness

So far, so decent.

-First, tip o' the hat to Haas, who has done a really nice job lately of updating this blog with some good material.

-I'm a little sad I didn't get around to do an over-the-top spring/opening-day post this year. But this post will certainly do.

- I fully intended to do this Target-Field-Opener post, in which I started to describe how excited I was to witness the opening of TF, but then get hilariously interrupted by friendly guest-posters. So I would be like: I'm so excited fo...wait..we have a special guest! It's my 13-year-old-imaginary-cousin, Madylyn!

Target Field is so here, you guys. I hope it likes me. It's soooooo cool . JK, you guys. I just... I dunno. Sometimes I think, "Hey, I love Target Field and I want to hang out with it!!!" Seriously, you guys, I'm just being like totally dumb, or whatever, but should I forsure love Target Field, or like L-U-V it? But I'm soooo-to-the-nervous. I mean, It's like, I totally did like 9 BAZILLION charcoal drawings of TF in my art class :P But...I dunno. The Twilight saga is like the TF of stadiums. But, whatever.

Then, of course, our old friend, Private Fitzwilliam Bingley:

Huzzah! May Target Field, in all her Majesty, be an opening to the heavens above. Let us scrape our sweet, sweet gentiles across thee abundant limestone. O' Target Field, for who am I to engorge in your plentiful fancy? I am but a man. A man who has had nothing but an insatiable desire to be part of your most bountiful field that is Target. In this same vigor, l'm going to get so drunk, you guys! I hope they serve rotgut.

And then a couple of other guest writers, but never got around to it. You get the idea.

- Whatever night it was, the crowd at the Angels game broke the record for, "The most fleece blankets worn at a single time," or whatever. This makes me mad. Yeah, I know Snuggies are America's nice little joke. Everybody is Jerry Seinfeld when the word "Snuggie" gets mentioned. "Have you seen these things?!?! I mean, come on! It's a blanket...WITH SLEEVES! I actually liked it the first time when it was called, 'Bathrobe on backwards,' amirite?!?!"

Haha, good job. What grinds my craw, however, is the mockery The Guinness Book of World Records has become. It was once a proud institution that produced a reference book of important world records. Before the late nineties it read like an almanac -- as a book of record should. Then, sometime while I was in middle school, they sold out. They went Ripley's-Believe-it-or-Not on us.

Then, of course, Guinness had the short-lived TV show, which showcased such ridiculous records as "Who can shoot milk from his or her eye the farthest?" That is not a world record. That, Guinness, is a freak show exhibition.

A while ago I linked to a very important world record about the worlds tallest dog, which is a very real and informative world record. In that same article, however, are stupid records ripe for the mocking like "Most nationalities in a single sauna."

In rant conclusion: Screw you Guinness Book of World Records and your bullshit records too.

In unrelated news, I'm still waiting to hear back from Guinness about whether or not my 2779 victories in FreeCell in a ten month period is a world record. Beat that, rest of the world.

- Sucks Joe Nathan went down. Thus far, however, it appears those of us that have devalued a closer's worth have been validated. Albeit less than two weeks into the season, Jon Rauch has been just fine.

Before this year, I have never been a huge fan of his. This is probably because I haven't paid him much attention. Saving some games for the Nationals means nothing to me. But his ability to throw quality strikes so far this season is impressive. A 91 mph fastball from an over-the-top 6'11" pitcher looks just as fast as any Joe Nathan fastball. And while Rauch doesn't have the same bevy of devastating off-speed pitches, he does have a nice twelve-to-six-curve that will compliment his fastball just fine.

My point is, that even after Nathan went down, we still have a pretty decent bullpen. Rauch will do fine (not as well, but fine) as closer. The rest of the bully will be good. In the 8th, Neshek from the right and Mijares from the left would be ideal. But, as much shit as they get, I don't have a lot of trouble pitching Matt Guerrier or Jesse Crain in important situations.

That's all for now.

A few things

It's been a while. Let's catch up.

- The 2010 Winter Olympics has taught us a lot about ourselves. Through the games, together we have experienced loss, success, and most importantly, hope.

But if we take one lesson away from this 2010 Winter Games, it should be this: Yu Na Kim ain't nothin to F**k with. If it's hard for you baseball fans to understand her dominance, think of it this way: Joe Mauer is the Yu Na Kim of baseball.

I have recently lived in the Korea. So I have first hand knowledge of how big of a deal Yu Na Kim is. She sings and stuff too. Last year she made $6 million. That is a lot of stinking money for a Korean entertainer. It's like a zillion Won. Not that I'm obsessed, but I guess she has a twitter account.

Quick tutorial on reading Korean txt and twitter (because I think it's kind of funny): For "lol" Koreans use "kkk," which is funny in an ironic way because there isn't much funny about the Ku Klux Klan. But if you sound out three "K's" it sounds like you're chuckling. Think of that dog on Duck Hunt. Also, instead of a " : ) " emoticon, they use two "^" to represent how Korean eyes look when they are smiling. So it would be something like: ^o^ or ^_^.

Wow. aren't you impressed at how cultured the blog is?

- Don't worry, Jim Leyland. Good news! Cigarette Juice.
- I vaguely remember Glenn Perkins' issue with the front office. Something about him not liking how they treated his injury. Honestly, I didn't pay that much attention to it because I thought it wasn't an issue. THEN, this off-season, I hear all this talk about "How are we going to get rid of Glenn Perkins?" Boy, that escalated fast. Am I missing something? Perkins (an employee) expressed a problem with his employer. The audacity. Glenn, I don't care if you mutilate cats in your free time. Just be good at baseball.

- Oh, I went inside Target Field a couple of weekends ago. That's right, bitches. In-mother f**king -side. It was no authorized tour. No job orientation. Just a little old-fashioned resourcefulness you can only learn on the mean streets of Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

We were checking out the plaza, and there was some other dude with a box just leaning against the limestone. After a while, a security guard came over and asked the man, "You from Quest?" Then the gate opened. We saw our opportunity. Without hesitation, Child Prodigy spoke up. To this day, it is not known what was said to that security guard, but Child Prodigy's charm paid off. We were allowed temporary entrance.

So then we ran in like mindless idiots and I took three crappy pictures.

- Pat Neshek is the new Joe Nathan. Pass it on.

- To keep me accountable, I'm going to preview some stuff I have been meaning to write, but haven't written. So now if I take another couple weeks off, you'll know that it's not because I have writers' block. It's because I'm lazy.

-Alright Hamilton! top prospects.
-The consequences if Joe Mauer doesn't sign with the Twins (which I told Haas I would write a week ago. whoops)
-Well, somebody has to respond to an article entitled "Accolades not important to Cuddyer."
-Kinda Obscure Jim Henson movies

-BronxBoi's thoughts on Mauer's contract, and maybe a couple of other things

Have a good Wednesday.

Don't Even Bother Reading This Blog Notes Post

- TwinsFest weekend! Back to the Dome we go. Another crack at the dome dog. Oh Boy! Check out our AH TwinsFest Guide we threw together last year. To summarize: it's barely worth attending unless you're a crazy autograph person.

- Our favorite club released their single game ticket prices for the new ballpark. Target Field has the second most pricing sections in all of baseball, featuring three tiers of games (value, select and premium,) a $10 spike in all front-row seats, and more color coding than a care bears movie.

Here's a better map, to help reduce repetitive stress syndrome.

- Did you see this headline? Jose Valverde finalizes two-year contract with... Jose Valverde.


He must take the idea of New Years Resolutions very, very seriously.


- How about this t-shirt? Anyone have experience with screen printing? We should absolutely print up a dozen of these and sell them illegally; not to make a buck, but to spread the love and be awesome pirates.




- I saw this headline on ESPN the other day:

Dawson may wear Cubs hat for speech

Seems like a risky move. Dawson could end up offending a lot of Expos fans in the process.

Caption contest

Several or So Things That I Think I May or May Not Have Thought Over A Period of Time Somewhat Recently

By TwinsWin83


It’s been quite some time since I’ve subjected the world, or more specifically AH!’s dedicated group of blog lurkers, to my random musings. So I figured it might be time to talk about a few things that have been on my mind recently. I realize you're holding your breath in excitement and anticipation by this point so I’ll get this thing going.


*Carl Pavano accepted the Twins arbitration offer, meaning he will be with the team for the 2010 season. Everyone seems to think this is awesome and that it shores up one of the spots in our rotation for next season. I’m not quite so sure. His numbers with the Twins last season were far from amazing, 5-4 with a 4.64 ERA in 12 starts.

Now I know that he provided some relief and leadership for a young rotation that struggled most of the season, but last year was only the third time in an 11 year career that Pavano even approached the 200 innings mark. The other two times were the 2003 and 04’ seasons that earned him his mega contract with the Yankees. I just think that he’s ticking time bomb and have a hard time believing he can make it through another entire season. If nothing else, I guess he could be an assistant pitching coach for Rick Anderson if he goes down with another season-ending injury.


*Has anyone heard what Tiger Woods is up to this offseason? I’ve tried to figure it out but I can’t find any information on the TV or internet.


*So the Timberwolves, Wild, and Gophers hockey teams are all terrible this winter. And what was supposed to be a pretty good Gopher basketball team has had a rough go so far. Awesome. What really bothers me most about this situation is that now the only decent team I can watch is the Vikings, and when you have to put all the marbles in their court only bad things can happen.


*I still don’t like Brett Favre. I know he’s had a good season and has led the Vikings to what will probably be the #2 seed in the NFC, but who doesn’t think a retarded monkey with even a basic understanding of secondary coverage’s could be doing the same thing? I dunno, maybe that isn’t true, but I just can’t get on board with a dude that I hated for so long. Anyone that spent that much time in Wisconsin has to have some serious defects.


*Do you wonder if Jennifer Aniston has ever been sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon surfing through the TV channels and sees that Mr. and Mrs. Smith is on TBS and just gets pissed?


*John Daly has lost 115 pounds. Yup, you read right, 115 pounds. That’s great, but from what I understand lap-band surgery doesn’t cure bat shit crazy.


*Has anyone ever seen Yo Gabba Gabba? Thanks in part to my one-year old daughter I’ve been watching a lot of Nick Jr. lately and for some reason this gong-show of a program is her favorite. If you have never heard of it check this out. As I am forced to sit and watch this thing the only thing I can think is how high were the people who created and wrote this thing?


*Tubby Smith is recruiting an 8th grade point guard from Apple Valley. This kid was playing on the varsity team as a 7th grader and that is no small feat when you consider Apple Valley plays in the Lake Conference and he’s not a 7 footer, he’s a guard. Still, recruiting is getting crazy when middle schoolers are having D1 coaches attend their practices. We’re talking about practice. We’re not even talking about a game. Practice. When I was in 8th grade we had a hard time even getting our own coach to show up for our practices.


*As the decade winds down we will undoubtedly be bombarded with lists of the best and worst things about the past ten years. Some I pay attention to and some I pretend I don’t pay attention to. But one things I have noticed that I’m happy to see is that every list I’ve checked out on the best TV shows of the decade includes Arrested Development. So how come no one realized this while it was airing?


*I wish they would post more pictures of Target Field on the Twins website. Does anyone know of anywhere else that has up-to-date pics?


*After watching the Vikings game in Arizona the other night I couldn’t help but think how nice it would be if the Twin Cities had a stadium like that, and not just for the Vikings. And you know what, the state of Arizona only contributed $9.5 million to the $500 million project. So why in the world can’t they figure it out in Minnesota?


I’ve got a few countdowns going on right now:

75 day until pitchers and catchers report.

118 days until Opening Day.

125 days until Opening Day at Target Field.

45 days until the Vikings are blown out by the Saints in the NFC title game

Detroit Tigers stream of consciousness

Let's do a stream of consciousness narrative on the Detroit Tiger coming to town.

I have never been to Detroit, but by all reports, it sucks at being a good city. I imagine it as a post-apocalyptic prison-city. Like in the not too distant future the powers-that-be decided to wall in the city and lock the nations criminals and a falsely accused Kurt Russell inside. This prison-city would be run by a well organized group of feral children that have an insatiable hunger for rodent-flesh. The only mode of transportation in Detroit is rafts assembled out of rotting human corpses to maneuver the blood filled streets. The only rule in Detroit is that THERE ARE NO RULES! How am I doing, those of you who have been to Detroit? Close?

I often hear the word "blighted" when describing Detroit neighborhoods. I love that word. It sounds like a British swear. Like, "Mumsy, the blighted tele is on the fritz a-gain, idnit?" I would feel bad for those people that live in Detroit that are reading this, but thankfully for me, they don't have the internet in Detroit.

I'm assuming Armando Galarraga is related to the Big Cat. They play baseball and they have the same last name. What other conclusion can you come to?

Curtis Granderson sure is likable. That's probably why a part of me doesn't like him. Sometimes Daryl Strawberry sits on the opposite shoulder that Michael Cuddyer is on and makes me dislike good guys and root for high-tallent but low-character guys.

Cuddyer: Golly, isn't that Granderson a great guy? I bet he's a terrific teammate.
Strawberry: Pssssst. I won a World Series with half a kilo of coke concealed in my rectum.

So, it's not surprising that I kind of like Miguel Caberra. He's got a ton of talent but chose to eat himself out of being a contributing defensive player. I can relate to this. Well, not the talent part. Imagine if the Twins signed a Caberra or Manny Ramirez type player (both have won World Series by the way)?

After a disappointing loss the team would voluntarily run up and down the stadium steps with logs on their shoulders. All the players except for this guy. We'll call him Sloth Awesome. Sloth didn't run the steps with the rest of the team because he had a severe case of "tummy needs nachos." He would say it just like that, too. When the team would return from their run -- keeling over from exhaustion -- they would all fine themselves $100 for not running the steps harder. Cuddyer would cry.

Sloth, however, would fine the Twins organization for not having a appropriate portion of nacho cheese available for the nacho chips he consumed. Sloth would then go on to hit .330 with 50 bombs and the World Series MVP. Cuddy realizes he needs to step up his magic act and makes the Metrodome disappear. This causes Gardy to bench Sloth and give Cuddy his starting job back.

Remember a few years back when Bonderman was a"sleeper for the Cy Young" because he finally figured out a change up. Then he was terrible. Remember when he was at the dome and balked with the bases loaded. How fun was that?

Prediction: Twins sweep.

Greater Than, Less Than, Equal to for Friday Nights Game

Justin Morneau > Chris Jakubauskas fastball


Brendan Harris Bat > Nick Punto Bat


Nick Punto glove > or = Brendan Harris Glove


Brendan Harris > Nick Punto


Russell Branyon < Paul Bunyon


Brian Buscher > Hanging curve ball


Mariners 3rd base coach Bruce Hines = Old West Mustache’s


Matt Tolbert > Alexi Casilla


Curve balls > Delmon Young


Bert Blyleven > Night Crawlers


Empty Blue Seats > Twins fans


Scott Baker < Ability to grow facial hair


Robby Incmikoski < Neck Ties


Joe Mauer = Opposite field second row home runs


Metrodome Field Turf < Ichiro


Carlos Gomez < Major League Pitchers


Carlos Gomez = Late-inning defensive replacements


Scott Baker > 0-5 record


Twins season outlook tonight > Twins season outlook last night

Case of the Mundays

By TwinsWin83

*I’m going to assume without much doubt that most of you out there went at some point over the weekend to see The Dark Knight. Not only did the newest installment in the Batman saga have the biggest opening in history this weekend, racking up a tidy 155 mil, but it also received recommendations from 94% of the nation’s top critics, a rarity for a superhero flick. I was lucky enough to get tickets for a midnight showing Thursday evening and was glad I did. Since I am assuming most people out there saw the movie I am going to steer clear of the review angle and just give a couple of my thoughts on the movie instead. Those that haven’t seen it yet don’t worry, I won’t include any spoilers.

Before the movie’s release a lot was made in the press of Heath Ledgers portrayal of the iconic Joker. Now, I know that fans and critics alike can exaggerate the brilliance of a performance when the actor/actress has suffered an untimely death, but this is one case where all of the attention is not only warrented but also much deserved. The movie itself is solid on almost every level, from the engrossing storyline to the dark and ominous cinematography and even the overall message it tries to convey, but the one thing that pushes this film off the corner of being a good movie over the edge into a great one is simply Ledger’s performance.

There was almost an uneasiness among the crowd in the theatre every time Ledger appeared. Many laughed at lines I didn’t think were meant to be funny, but the figure he created is one that haunts the entire film. Even days after you’ve seen the movie his character stays with you. Now I’ll be the first to admit I’ve seen, and liked, a lot of movies in my time, but it might not be an overreaction when I say Heath Ledger's Joker is the most interesting, sinister, complex and memorable character I have seen in any film, superhero or not.

Aside from Ledgers performance the movie was impressive, leaving only a few questions to be asked by the well-versed Batman viewer, but ones that I won’t ask here in case someone reading this hasn’t seen it yet. I thought that Maggie Gyllenhaal was a much better choice for the role of Rachel Dawes then Katie Holmes was in Batman Begins. The Harvey Dent character was an intriguing addition as well. I’ll be interested to hear what the rest of you out there thought of The Dark Knight.


*As the Twins head to New York tonight for a series with the Yankees they remain a half game out of first place. I wonder if they do overtake the White Sox for the top spot in the AL Central if that will force the sports world out there to finally take a serious look at the Twins. The 2008 Twins are doing the whole more-with-less bit better than any of the previous division winners the organization has had this decade and it baffles me that more people aren’t taking notice. If they would all just go back and look at their preseason picks they would realize just how surprising and impressive this club has been so far.


*Did anyone watch the ESPY’s last night? For the second time in three years Blake Hoffarber was up for an award for Best Play of the Year. Here's the play. But unlike two years ago, when he was up for his amazing shot from his back in the Minnesota State title game, he didn’t win. Still though, that’s pretty impressive that the kid has made two bonkers shots like that in two game-ending situations in such a short period of time.


*Greg Norman is the anti-Tiger Woods. Every time the dude has a lead going into the final round he squirts the thing down his leg. You almost have to feel bad for the guy. I was actually hoping he could pull it off yesterday just so he could exercise some of those old demons, and because he’s almost old enough to be getting social security.


*Is anyone really looking forward to the Olympics? There are a few things in there I guess I am looking forward to seeing, like if the basketball team can finally win back some respect, but for the most part I am just dreading all of the ridiculous wall-to-wall coverage for two weeks. Especially at a time when I am going to want to be hearing more about baseballs pennant races.


*Speaking of which, I hope the Twins and White Sox are still neck-in-neck by the time Chicago comes to the Dome for that four-game set at the end of this month because if they are it’s going to be a crazy atmosphere at ol’ Triple-H. It was cool to see so many people turn out for a three game series with the Rangers this weekend. I guess that’s one thing that will always be true of Minnesotans: they support their teams when things are going well.


*Can we start an AH! pool for bets as to when Lariano will be called up?

Friday Notes

By TwinsWin83

*It’s Mid-May and it would seem that the window through which to watch the surprising first-place Twins has closed as quickly as it opened. And not to be a negative Ned or anything but it looks like it could be closing up for the year.

We all knew the teams many questions coming into this season had created an atmosphere of lowered expectations and thus set the bar much lower for this Twins squad then it has been in nearly a decade, and maybe that’s why it seemed to be such a shocker when May 12th rolled around and the Twins were all alone in first place. The assumed powers of the AL Central haven’t played anywhere near as well as the “experts” predicted they would, but that looks like it’s about to change.

Now, I’d like to see the young and upstart Twins hang in there as long as possible, (you never know what can happen if it enters late-August and early September and your team is still in striking range) but after seeing what Cleveland’s pitching staff has done over the past week I can’t help but wonder if the Indians are about ready to take off full steam ahead and leave the rest of the mediocre AL Central as a distant spec in their review mirror.

There is no way the Indians starting pitchers can continue the record-setting streak they have been on, but the fact remains that no one else in the division has a starting staff right now that is even comparable to Cleveland’s. People keep asking, “when is this team going to start hitting again?” and connect the dots by saying if they do start hitting like most assumed they would that they will run away with the division. That’s a fine theory but if their pitchers continue to throw like they are they won’t need to mash the ball to win games, and that’s what is scary.

*I don’t normally watch Deal or No Deal anymore but I have caught a bit of the last couple where they take the show on the road and host it in a far off nation where they have their own version of the game show. The catch is they not only use American money but they also bring American contestants along with. And to top it off, the amount of money they give away makes the money each of these countries gives to their contestants look like chump change.

Example? Sure. When they took the show to South Africa the most the game show there had ever given away was $38,000. The first offer to the American contestant was (after she knocked out the $1,000,000 case none-the-less) $73,000. And of course she scoffed at it, turned it down and moved on. Now I’m as proud to be an American as the next Uncle Sam down the street, but its crap like this that makes people from other countries dislike the “greedy American.”

*Is it even worth watching the NBA playoffs? Can’t they just let us know who the home team is in each game and we will just assume they won?

*Brandon Webb is good. It’s nice to see a righty workin’ it like that.

*Did anyone see the interview with a pissed off Billy Wagner yesterday? Hilarious. Not only did he rip the reporters talking to him but then lashed out at his teammates who continue to bail after losses to avoid the media questions, leaving them to the veterans like Wagner. Profanity-laden tirades are always great, but they are even better when they are warranted.

*What is so great about Don Cherry? Unless you know a bunch of Canadians like I sadly do, you underestimate just how much they worship this ridiculous character. I’ve seen enough of him to know his analyst skills are average at best. So why the cult following from an entire nation of hockey bums? Maybe it’s the goofy jackets or his crazy accent, I don’t know.

*The Pohlad’s company is looking to buy a new FM station and turn it into a 24-hour sports station. Do we really need another one?

*Soup, my wife and I are moving to South Dakota this August, you have any helpful advice for us? Like how to avoid wild coyote attacks?

Things I've learned to appreciate over the last yearish:

By Tony F. Rezac

Its been quite a while since I've posted anything, but all this anniversary hub bub has inspired me to reminisce on the past year. Over the year that AH! has existed I've learned to appreciate quite a few new things, and rediscovered a few others. So, without further ado, here's some random crap that I like.

A good cup of coffee, I first started drinking coffee about 2 years ago. I know, that is not within the last year, but hear me out. It was horrible instant army coffee, poured like tar and tasted more along the lines of butt. When I finally got home from Iraq in November I started drinking Caribou Coffee and I haven't looked back since. My personal favorite was the perennial blend, but unfortunately that was seasonal and they recently stopped selling it. So, the search is on for a new favorite. Any suggestions?

Bratwurst: I've always loved myself a good bar-b-q, but until recently I've always preferred burgers, hot dogs, or what was my favorite: Chedderwurst. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy a burger or dog, and if I could get over how bad they burn my tongue I would still love chedderwurst. But already this spring, I've really started to enjoy brats, they still give me terrible heart burn though.

The interweb: You really take it for granted until you lose access to it. In Iraq I didn't have access for over 5 months. I was completely cut off from the real world, terrible! Instead of explaining how we rely on use of the interweb, I'll just refer you to the South Park episode called "Over logging."

My two feet: With gas prices approaching 4 bucks, I've learned to walk places. I guess I'd still rather have it the other way though.

Frankie and Annette movies: This goes along with my post about teen movies sucking these days I stumbled across "Beach Blanket Bingo" one hungover Sunday morning, and was instantly in a better mood. There is nothing better than taking a step back into the carefree 50's, with all the singing and dancing. They are just teens on the beach trying catch some rays, a buzz and some tail.

Lost: I watched a few episodes of Lost during the first season, thought it was pretty good but never got hooked. But while In Iraq I borrowed the first season on DVD from a friend and couldn't stop watching. I know the whole premise is absurd, and has only gotten more so in the current season. But, I'm in so deep I have to find out what happens.

Legos: Legos were my favorite toy growing up, but I completely forgot how sweet they were until a few months ago. Being unemployed, I Spend countless hours of my day struggling to find something to do. On one such occasion I went to Target to buy a new DVD, directly across the aisle was the Lego display. Being a Star Wars nut I was instantly amazed how realistic and accurate the Star ships were.


So, I purchased an AT-ST (the two legged walkers the Empire uses on Endor in episode VI, Return of the Jedi, pictured above) and spent the rest of the afternoon putting it together. Since then I've purchased a few more sets and built many others with the ones I and some friends have grown up with, they are hours of entertainment.

Board games: This goes along with legos, I loved boardgames growing up but lost touch with them until about February. My roommates and I played a marathon game of risk one night for no reason. Since then we've played "Clue", "Guess who?", "The game of LIFE" and "Sorry." They are a great way to kill time. Anyone know of any other good board games?

So there you have it, some things that I am enjoying these days. What are you enjoying? Let me know in the comments.

Tuesdays With Kory

By TwinsWin83


*The Twins are 8-4 right now in Spring Training and are playing at a .667 clip. So the only way I can figure it is that level of play should automatically transfer over into the regular season, meaning the Twins will go 108-54 this year. Awesome.

*Kevin Slowey reminds me of Brad Radke more every time I see him pitch. Let’s just hope he doesn’t end up serving up dingers to opposing hitters at record pace like Radke did throughout the second half of his career. You have to figure since the Twins no longer have Radke, Silva or Santana in their rotation the staff should give up quite a few less home runs this season.

*A little less than three weeks to go before the season opener and we still don’t have a clue who will be starting in center come March 31st. Many think Carlos Gomez will get the gig but Denard Span seems to finally be playing up to his potential and according to Twins beat writer Kelly Thesier, Jason Pridie is the most consistent of all three on both the offensive and defensive end.

So what does it all mean? Well, the best I can guess is that they will give the opening day job to Gomez and everyone in the front office will be hoping and praying he takes the job and runs with it so that the average Twins fan doesn’t feel like the Johan trade was a complete wash when it came to the 2008 season. If Gomez can’t produce, look for one of the other two to jump in and get a chance to show what they can do at the Major League level.

*Phil Humber had a nice outing yesterday. I'm trying not to get too excited over a Spring Training outing but if Humber was able to grab that 4 or 5 spot in the rotation and pick up 12 or 13 wins this season that would not only be a huge boost to the team but it would also take some pressure off the rest of the young rotation. It would also make the Johan trade look a little less haunting.

*I was listening to Common Man yesterday and he was talking about how he felt if the Twins would have started Glen Perkins in Game 3 of the 2006 ALDS in Oakland instead of the ailing Brad Radke that Minnesota would have won the game and eventualy the series. He then stated such a win would have started a chain of events that would have led to the team winning the World Series that year and ultimately change the path of the organization forever. Now I know that Common is known for making ridiculous statements, most of which he knows just as well as his listeners are not serious, but this one had me thinking.

It's hard to say what would have happened had Perkins started Game 3, I mean the Twins were already down two games to none, but the 2006 squad was a streaky team and one win could have gotten the ball rolling. I firmly believe the 2006 squad was the best Twins team of my young lifetime, (yes I know that means they were better than the two World Championship teams) and they did have to potential to ride a hot streak right past the Tigers and Cardinals, who they would have met after the A’s that postseason.

If the Twins did win the World Series that year it could have changed the entire path of the organization as players like Hunter and Santana might have taken a discount price to remain a Twin and other big name free agents might have started to take a more serious look at coming to Minnesota. The financial windfall alone from winning a World Series would have provided the team with a bigger budget. I know these are all a lot of what if’s but I just thought Common raised an interesting discussion topic. What if Perkins had started in Game 3 instead of Radke? Where would the Twins as an organization be now, in the same place or somewhere completely different?

Geography is the Bees Knees

By Soup

In case you haven’t noticed, geography is really cool. Geography invented maps. Geography was invented by Walter F. Geography. Here are some more awesome things about geography

Greenland is a Danish province. So is Denmark a North American country? It’s something to think about, NATO.

The Mongolian Stock Exchange is the world’s number one stock exchange for claustrophobic investment bankers.

Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio are not in the Midwest…well, not since before the Louisiana Purchase. Look at a map. What’s wrong with the Mideast?

Alien Vs Predator has a lot of explaining to do, because scientists have never discovered a large Aztec like pyramid under Antarctica. Scientists still have no idea where Predators hunt Aliens every 100 years for their coming of age ritual.

The most remote island in the world is Bouvet Island in the south Atlantic. It’s claimed by Norway and uninhabited. I guess Scandinavian countries like useless glacier covered islands (see Greenland).

Bouvet Island is the current headquarters for the Rondell White fan club

Bouvet Island motto: “At least we’re not Faribault.”

Bouvet Island’s geography is described as desolate, glacier covered, and Marlin’s-weekday-afternoon-game like.

Bouvet Island’s state tree: drift wood.

I am officially the world’s foremost Bouvet Island related comedian.

There are 918 members of the United Nations Peacekeeping Force patrolling the buffer zone between Cyprus and the de facto Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. Just remember that the next time your job feels pointless.

Case of the Mundays

By TwinsWin83

-I figured I would start off today by recapping the Super Bowl and breaking down the game quarter-by-quarter since I’m sure most of you missed it.....Just kidding.

The game was decent for a change and few things are better then watching the smug and arrogant Bill Belichick lose a game of that magnitude, but I couldn’t help but think that this could be the last chance we will ever get to see a team try for perfection in a season. Either way the football season is over now so can start to focus on what really matters, the upcoming baseball season.

-Jim Souhan confirmed what I’ve been saying for a few months now and what I’m sure most of you have suspected; the Twins are trying to build a team that can compete by 2010 when the new stadium opens. I don’t blame them for wanting to have a competitive team for that monumental season but I can’t think of many instances in MLB, or any major sport for that matter, where building for a certain target date like this has worked out successfully.

The team has too much talent in its organization to just give up on the next two seasons and hope that the young players develop by then and the few established players will hit their prime by 2010. It just won’t work out that way because baseball is such an unpredictable game and there are too many outside factors that can come into play over the next two years. There is a bunch of money floating around in the Twins bank account now that Johan’s 2008 salary is off the books. With a couple savvy moves in the free agent market, (I know that is assuming a lot after the teams pickups the last two offseason) the team could compete now.

-I know everyone here at AH! is trying to put on their ‘optimist hat’ when it comes to this whole Johan trade issue, but I’m having a hard time trying to find the silver lining. I agree that the blame should not fall entirely on Bill Smith’s shoulder’s, but in reality, most of it should. He is the acting GM and that title means the final say in situations like this one are his and his alone. Just because this is his first year in that spot doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. If this trade turns out to be a flop, it is his flop.

Everyone says “well look at the Twins track record in trades like this,” but those trades didn’t come on Bill Smith’s watch. To give up the best pitcher in baseball and not get either of the Mets top two prospects or a single player who can provide an immediate impact on our Major League squad is just ridiculous, and there is no way around that fact. Regardless, we won’t know the true impact of this trade until probably the 2011 season, so patience will have to be the name of the game.

-Chuck Knoblauch carried his 3 year old son with him while answering questions about his conversation with Congress last week about his knowledge on the use of drugs in baseball. When asked why he had his young son with him he stated that, “maybe one day, when he grows up, he won’t have to worry about drugs in sports.” Hmmm. That’s an interesting take for a guy who was mentioned in the Mitchell Report as having used performance enhancing drugs. If it comes out that Knoblauch was honest and open during his deposition about his usage then I guess that makes him more worthy of our respect then the Barry Bonds’ and Mark McGuires’ of the world.

-What was your favorite commercial yesterday? Even though it was typical of a Will Ferrell movie promotion, I thought his commercial as Jackie Moon was hilarious. That one with the pigeons was pretty good too.

-Is this the year Tiger Woods wins all four majors? I know we don’t talk about golf on AH! but the best golfer in the world sure has started out well this year.

-Has anyone seen Juno? I haven’t got a chance to yet but there sure is a lot of buzz about it. Any movie staring Michael Cera and Jason Bateman is probably worth seeing.

-Tom Petty was the best halftime show I’ve seen in recent memory. He might look a lot older but he still sounds pretty good.

-I really hope they end the writers’ strike soon because if they don’t we are only going to get eight episodes of LOST this year and I just can’t live with that.

-It has been rumored that Josh Fogg is a possible free agent target for the Twins. He had a so-so regular season in 07' but was one of the keys to the Rockies amazing run to the World Series last October. It's no secret the Twins need help in their rotation, and even though Fogg isn't exactly a big name he could provide some help. I mean, he couldn’t be worse than Sidney Ponson.

Could he?

5 Things I Like and Dislike About the NFL Playoffs

By TwinsWin83

It’s been a while since I’ve taken the writers version of an intentional walk and made a list about something. Even though I spend a lot more time complaining about the NFL then I do complimenting it I like to keep things fair, so here are five things I like and dislike about the playoffs.


Likes


5. The underdogs actually stand a chance. Over the last decade, only once have the two #1 seeds from each conference matched up in the Super Bowl, and the last two years the AFC’s representative has been a team that played Wild Card Weekend.

4. Cold weather games. I think the Vikings need to look into a strictly outdoor stadium as they push for a new one over the next few years. I’m no fan of Green Bay but that’s the way the game is meant to be played, up here in the bitter cold or anywhere for that matter. The games are supposed to be outdoors, just like baseball.


3. Commercials. Companies that advertise during football games tend to step up their game to impress us viewers during playoff games, and especially during the Super Bowl. Now, I don’t typically watch these commercials but when I do forget to change the channel, I like to laugh.

2. Post-game interview with the losing coach. This might sound a bit cruel but try and stay with me here for a minute. I mention this because everytime I tune in for this portion of the post-game I pray that the coach, instead of bowing his head and conceding his team’s season to an opponent that “just wanted it more,” will finally let loose and say what he really means. All I want is a coach to get a hold of that mic and scream about the cheap hits, horrible calls and terrible players he has that led to this defeat. Is that too much to ask for?

1. Knowing that after the Super Bowl, it’s finally over. I don’t hate football by any stretch of the imagination but what I do hate is the never-ending football analysis by ESPN and the fact that the team I cheer for will never win a Super Bowl. Once the Super Bowl is over that means the season is done and we are all that much closer to what really matters, the start of baseball season.



Dislikes

5. The typical storylines that the media likes to focus on, and eventually beat to death before the games even start. You know what I’m talking about. Is this Bret Favre’s last game? Can Eli ever win in New York? How will the cold weather affect the game? Patriots, Patriots, Patriots. I understand that some of these are important issues but at least try and discuss something else as well to create the illusion of balanced coverage. This is my biggest problem with ESPN, just like it is during baseball season. I know the Yankees and Red Sox played today, but can I maybe see some other highlights first?

4. Two weeks between conference title games and the Super Bowl. I remember growing up when the big game would be played at the end of January. Now we have to wait until like mid-March. Listening to all the analysis on the radio and television is terrible enough, but it would be easier to handle if it were only for one week instead of two.

3. Pre and Post-game interviews. Is there anything more awkward to watch on live TV then Pam Oliver asking some dude seconds after a win why he is so totally awesome? Unless a coach is flipping out or Randy Moss explaining how he pays his fines, I don’t want to hear it.

2. The Super Bowl is the biggest circus on the planet. I’m not sure what else to say about this except that the Super Bowl has turned into a two week-long Gong Show, making it almost unwatchable at points. It has become more about everything surrounding the game then the game itself. Yeah, yeah, I sound like an old geezer, but it's true.

1. Joe Buck. Insert your own punch line here.

Quick Thursday Note

By Michael Haas

- TwinsGeek has an emergency notice for us. He notes that the Twins payroll for 2008 is going down, despite league revenues going up about 9% This is nicht gute. Read it; Twins fans should not take this laying down.

- My friend and I were putting together a list of crazy thoughts and unanswerable questions, but http://www.crazythoughts.com/ stole our thunder.

- I'm mad at KFAN's Common Man for the first time in my life. All he does is talk about NFL playoffs. I need some ack-ack-a-dack. I don't care that much about the playoffs, I just don't, and he's not going to get me to change. So I flipped to 1500 and someone was talking to a "real life superhero." He sounded like a nerd. He talked about how he walks the streets, in a super hero costume, and helps people. Check out the 'reals' website by clicking here. And read this good story about them in City Pages.

Links by The Daymonster

- Many of you have read this but ESPN's Buster Olney says the Twins should start the 2008 season with Johan.

- I feel like eventually no one will celebrate Columbus Day.

- Do you ever get those anoying emails about a woman ambushed outside a wal-mart or a petition you should sign to get them on Exterme Home Make-Over? This site is my go-to site for all things that seem suspicious on the web.

- I am a big fan of Eli's Dirty Jokes on YouTube. This is the funniest one.

- Jon Lajoie is just a regular every day normal guy. And here is the follow up. Warning there is swearing involved.

Is No News Really Good News?

By TwinsWin83

As I go into this I have no idea what I’m going to write about. I just told Mike I would so here I am, sitting and staring at the screen trying to think of something interesting that is going on in the sports world. I’m not even sure there is anything happening right now that is truly newsworthy.

Goose Gossage got into the Hall of Fame. Good for him, but get back to me when Bert gets elected in three years.

Tony Romo went on vacation with Jessica Simpson. I don’t care.

Roger Clemens was supposed to go before Congress but that got pushed back until mid February.

The second round of the NFL playoffs start Saturday, but unless the Patriots lose I’m not really interested.

The T-Wolves were fun to watch the first couple weeks of the season but the excitement over their new players and new style quickly faded as the losses pile up at record pace.

Apparently Brett Farve is leaning towards returning next year. File that one under shocking news.

The BCS title game was boring and kind of predictable.

The Gophers Men’s basketball team won its Big Ten opener over Northwestern. Cool, but Northwestern isn’t exactly Indiana or Michigan State. Freshmen Blake Hoffarber scored 15 points. Remember Blake Hoffarber? He only made the most ridiculous buzzer beater shot in Minnesota high school basketball history. The kid won a frickin ESPY.

According to the Star Tribune the Twins have gotten involved in serious, yet under-the-radar, talks with the New York Mets about a Johan deal. That’s kind of interesting but I’m done getting worked up over possible trade options. We’ve been burned on that front one too many times.


It’s clear we are going to have to venture out of the sporting world to come up with an interesting discussion topic.

Eden Prairie High School suspended students over Facebook pictures of them drinking. People appear to be so shocked over this situation but I went to a symposium two years ago where my college’s entire athletic department, from players to coaches, were warned about posting compromising items on Facebook and MySpace. This isn’t a new issue and in the year 2008 students should know better.

My only problems with this issue is that several of the students who were punished apparently had “red cups” in their hands and it was simply implied that the cups contained alcohol. Now, there probably were booze in those cups but there is no way to prove that for sure and thus it can not be assumed. The other qualm I have is with the person who decided to hand in all of the compromising photos to the administration at the high school. It states in the story that the administration did not go looking for the pictures but instead they were brought in and dropped on them, forcing them to deal with the issue. So who was the loser that went out of his/her way to gather up all these pictures and haul them over to the school with the obvious intent of creating this brouhaha? I think that person should have to identify themself if they are going to be resonsible for getting so many students into hot water in a fashion such as this.

I’m not sure I like this new generation of technology and online networking sites that seem to create more issues then they’re worth. Call me grandpa, but I miss the good old days when the only way you knew what your friends were doing was if you picked up your land-line phone and called them up and asked.




That's all I could dig up from the news pages. Oh well, something is better than nothing. Right?

Case of the Mundays

By TwinsWin83


-I really like KFAN. From PA and Dubay to the Common Man and even Mike Morris it’s nice to be able to listen to Minnesota sports radio all the way up here in North Dakota. But over the last week the talk on all of these shows has been a bit too upbeat on the Minnesota Vikings for my liking. Between the radio hosts on KFAN and the rest of the media across the country (*cough* ESPN *cough*) the Vikings already have their ticket to the postseason stamped and ready to go. If any of them used even the slightest bit of hindsight to recall the history of this franchise they would tip-toe a bit more carefully around their guarantees of Viking glory in 07.’

Now this isn’t to say I don’t hope the Vikings make it to the postseason this year, I’ve just learned over my years of cheering for the Purple that you can’t guarantee anything with them until the final whistle blows. There was a time in my life when I would get all worked up and excited over the Vikings when they showed promise like this but what hope and faith the 98’ team didn’t strip from me the 2000 squad finished off in the Meadowlands that January.

So, as I will be cheering for the Vikes to continue their impressive play over the final three games of the season and to carry that over into a postseason birth I will not be making any plans to watch them in January until a playoff spot is mathematically guaranteed. (Does no one remember the Vikings in Arizona on the final day of the 2003 season?)

-Miami finally got a win yesterday. Good for them, but to be honest I was kind of rooting for them to go winless this year. I’m not even really sure why, but did you see them after they won? It was like they had just won the Super Bowl.

-From the Department of Redundancy Department: Johan is still a Twin and it seems like there isn’t a realistic trade option in site. I logged on to my favorite sporting webpage the other day and saw a headline that the Yankees and Twins were involved in talks again and I got excited. I still think the trade for Hughes, Cabrera and one more top-tier prospect is the best option for the Twinkies. I just wish they would pull the trigger on one of these things so we could all move on with our lives and begin debating how the team is going to be in 08.’

-The D-Backs are going to be good next year. They swiped Haren from the A’s and if Randy Johnson comes back healthy and can contribute to a starting staff that already includes Brandon Webb Arizona should make another run at the World Series.

-As much as I dislike Roger Clemens at the moment I think I believe Andy Pettitte’s story that he only took HGH for two days in 2002. And for some reason I don’t judge players who get caught using HGH as harshly as I do the ones that get busted for steroids. Maybe I just don’t know enough about HGH.

-Did anyone see I Am Legend this weekend? I didn’t get a chance too but it looks pretty good and it made a ton of money. I think for his next movie Smith should do Independance Day II: The Aftermath. I just feel like there is more to that story.

-I heard a rumor the Vikings are going to be wearing all purple tonight. Purple jerseys, purple pants. That’s a lot of purple.

-I’m not sure that Mike Lamb and Adam Everett are the answers to our prayers for the left side of the Twins infield. They might provide solid defense but neither is much of an improvement on the offensive end from what we’ve had going on over there the last few years. Who knows, maybe they will both prove me wrong.

-Apparently steriods can't help you make the throw from second base to first. Sorry Chuck. Or stay healthy enough to help your team and warrent your big salary. Sorry Rondell.

-That’s all for now, I need to get ready for the big Monday Night game now. Those Vikings are unbeatable. All roads lead to the Super Bowl.

Random Notes, Despite Trade Stuff

By Michael Haas

- There's really not much to say about the Garza for Young trade. It seems pretty even. The Rays needed an arm and we needed a bat. As Twins fans, all we can do is sit back and trust Billy Smith, because there's certainly more to come. It's weird to be a Twins fan right now. I'm excited for the future, but sad that we're losing all our players and that we didn't win with them. So we'll wait and see. Here are some random notes and thoughts while we sort this whole thing out...

I hate driving. One of the most important questions one must ask oneself when driving in the city is: Left Lane, or Right Lane? The left lane is generally a faster lane, but say the car right in front of one tries to turn left? Could be big problems. So might as well go to the right lane. Well that's fine, except for pedestrians. You see, pedestrians have the right of way. Does anyone understand what I'm talking about?

- Most populous cities in Minnesota, as of the 2000 census:

Minneapolis 373,811
St. Paul 275,150
Rochester 97,191
Duluth 85,889
Bloomington 84,347
Brooklyn Park 71,048

Sucks to be Mankato and St. Cloud. Didn't even crack the top six. (click the city names for the dumbest image result from the first page of a google search)

- I went to see the Bob Dylan biopic, 'I'm Not There' the other day in Uptown. The movie uses six different actors playing Bob Dylan. It doesn't have an obvious plot, so I wouldn't really even call it a movie. It's like a collage of stories, images and summaries of Bob Dylan. It weaves in and out and around different characters and stories, but doesn't really tell you anything about the guy. It's wild - go see it whether you're a Dylan fan or not. Just sit back and let the images wash over you. It's better to do that than expect some kind of biographical story.
Watch the trailer

- Former AH! contributor Krystal Webb got her Twins blog off the ground recently. She even has a big money backer. Pretty exciting stuff. In one of her recent blogs, she admits that she's finally ready to talk about Torii Hunters departure. That's something AH! hasn't even done yet. I think we were in the acceptance category in July. Check her out: http://www.twincitynotes.com/

- Do you know what year it was four score and seven years ago? If you said 1776, you'd be wrong. You see, a 'score' is twenty years. So four score would be 80. If you remember elementary math class, you know 'and' means 'plus.' So that puts us at 87. And 87 years ago was 1920. The same year that the Cleveland Indians won their first of many World Series Championships.

here's some other exciting stuff going around the internets -

"Givin' him the business," said the ref. Click here.

Hilarious bunch of rap song graphs and things. Really funny. click here.

- Has anyone noticed how bad the music is on Menards commercials? It's like this really bad country blues grass banjo music. The only thing worse is the music they use during the holiday season. But it's not just their television ads, it's their whole campaign. The Dale Earnhardt Jr. billboards that say, 'Gr -8 Savings!' I mean c'mon. Hick music and Nascar. No wonder everyone goes to the Home Depot at the Quarry rather than the Menards near the Midway.

-Quick reminders: For those of you who didn't see Tuesdays post, we are doing a local brewpub tour in December. The event has been RESCHEDULED to DECEMBER 15th. All are welcome. More info to come. We're also doing an AH! cookbook for the holiday season, featuring reader submitted recipes. They don't have to be anything fancy, so email those recipes!

And finally, 3 blog points to whoever names the greatest switch hitter of all time.

Turkey Coloring Winner!!

- Hundreds of entries. One winner. congratulations to daymonster, who colored it using pieces completely from this image:


Thanks to everyone who sent in their beautiful turkeys, but this was clearly the winner. Here's the only other entry:


That's it for today. Make sure to submit recipes and mark your calendars for the brew tour.

Tuesdays with Kory

By TwinsWin83

-I think I hate it when the Gophers lose to Wisconsin in football more than any other team. Even NDSU. I still can’t decide if I liked the all maroon jersey though. They were definitely better than the all gold that they wore a couple months ago against Ohio State. The sad thing about this entire horrible season is that Brewster can’t even be fired because it was just his first year so they will just chalk it all up to Mason’s crappy recruiting, not his. Either way, I’m having a hard time remembering a worse season for a major Minnesota sports team then the 1-11 campaign the Gophs just pulled off.

-Johan and Torii both won Gold Gloves. That’s pretty cool but are they just going to be lovely parting gifts as both exit stage left this winter? To be honest, I’d much rather see Johan go in a trade this offseason so that the Twins can get a boatload of young talent. There is no way the Twins will be able to afford him as a free agent next year. Use that money that to resign Hunter and grab a decent third basemen.

-Does anyone even care about Michael Vick anymore?

-Call me crazy but I think if Monroe can cut down on his strikeouts he could actually be a decent addition to Twins. I mean he can’t be worse than Rondell was last year. Can he?

-The answers to the last two Obscure Twins of the Day are Keith Atherton and Willie Banks.

-I love my Wii. And I'm not the only one.

-I saw Transformers the other day for the first time and I was actually impressed. I only got it on Netflix because there wasn’t anything else out at the time and it sat around my house for like a week because I really wasn’t that pumped to watch it. It kind of looked like a nerdy movie but it turns out it was pretty badass. I never really watched the cartoon as a kid but I dig Optimus Prime. I think Shia LaBeouf is one of my favorite actors now. The Greatest Game Ever Played was awesome too.

-They are discussing giving A-Rod a percentage of the financial surplus MLB will see as a result of his pursuit of Barry Bonds all-time home run record. I don’t know about you but that sounds not only ridiculous to me but also incredibly premature.

-Right now the NFL season seems like it’s pointless. All the rest of the teams are just going to beat each other up to see who gets the chance to get beat up by the Patriots in the playoffs. Unless they rest a bunch of their players in the final couple games of the regular season they are not going to lose a game. Period.

-Mike Tyson is going back to prison. Albeit only for 24 hours. I miss the days when he was actualy fighting in the ring and just dominating people. He might be crazy but he was unreal for about a 5 year period there. I suppose any of us would be a bit nuts though too if we had taken that many blows to the head.

-I won’t watch Frank TV simply because of the barrage of terrible commercials they played for that thing during the first round of the playoffs and the NLCS.

-Stephon Marbury is the biggest tool in the entire shed. Is it a coincidence that every team he plays for gets worse when he shows up, doesn’t win while he is there and gets better when he leaves?

-Seriously who do you cheer for in a matchup between Eden Prairie and Cretin Durham Hall? That’s like asking who do you like more, Bud Selig or Norm Green. The only way I could like this game less is if you threw Holy Angels in there somewhere. Although I do remember going to watch the state title game when I was junior in high school with this same matchup and I got to see Joe Mauer end his career by throwing an interception in the end zone to lose the game. That’s a good memory.