Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A few things

It's been a while. Let's catch up.

- The 2010 Winter Olympics has taught us a lot about ourselves. Through the games, together we have experienced loss, success, and most importantly, hope.

But if we take one lesson away from this 2010 Winter Games, it should be this: Yu Na Kim ain't nothin to F**k with. If it's hard for you baseball fans to understand her dominance, think of it this way: Joe Mauer is the Yu Na Kim of baseball.

I have recently lived in the Korea. So I have first hand knowledge of how big of a deal Yu Na Kim is. She sings and stuff too. Last year she made $6 million. That is a lot of stinking money for a Korean entertainer. It's like a zillion Won. Not that I'm obsessed, but I guess she has a twitter account.

Quick tutorial on reading Korean txt and twitter (because I think it's kind of funny): For "lol" Koreans use "kkk," which is funny in an ironic way because there isn't much funny about the Ku Klux Klan. But if you sound out three "K's" it sounds like you're chuckling. Think of that dog on Duck Hunt. Also, instead of a " : ) " emoticon, they use two "^" to represent how Korean eyes look when they are smiling. So it would be something like: ^o^ or ^_^.

Wow. aren't you impressed at how cultured the blog is?

- Don't worry, Jim Leyland. Good news! Cigarette Juice.
- I vaguely remember Glenn Perkins' issue with the front office. Something about him not liking how they treated his injury. Honestly, I didn't pay that much attention to it because I thought it wasn't an issue. THEN, this off-season, I hear all this talk about "How are we going to get rid of Glenn Perkins?" Boy, that escalated fast. Am I missing something? Perkins (an employee) expressed a problem with his employer. The audacity. Glenn, I don't care if you mutilate cats in your free time. Just be good at baseball.

- Oh, I went inside Target Field a couple of weekends ago. That's right, bitches. In-mother f**king -side. It was no authorized tour. No job orientation. Just a little old-fashioned resourcefulness you can only learn on the mean streets of Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

We were checking out the plaza, and there was some other dude with a box just leaning against the limestone. After a while, a security guard came over and asked the man, "You from Quest?" Then the gate opened. We saw our opportunity. Without hesitation, Child Prodigy spoke up. To this day, it is not known what was said to that security guard, but Child Prodigy's charm paid off. We were allowed temporary entrance.

So then we ran in like mindless idiots and I took three crappy pictures.

- Pat Neshek is the new Joe Nathan. Pass it on.

- To keep me accountable, I'm going to preview some stuff I have been meaning to write, but haven't written. So now if I take another couple weeks off, you'll know that it's not because I have writers' block. It's because I'm lazy.

-Alright Hamilton! top prospects.
-The consequences if Joe Mauer doesn't sign with the Twins (which I told Haas I would write a week ago. whoops)
-Well, somebody has to respond to an article entitled "Accolades not important to Cuddyer."
-Kinda Obscure Jim Henson movies
-BronxBoi's thoughts on Mauer's contract, and maybe a couple of other things

Have a good Wednesday.


haasertime said...

hey everybody, soup is back. Just in time too. I think everyone was getting sick of my incoherent Alanis Morrissette themed ramblings.

It's the players union making the Twins hate Perkins. Donald Fehr stortroopers got it in Perkins head that the Twins sent him to triple-a just to screw him out of some money. Which is possibly true.

The MLB players union are also the ones screwing up the Mauer negotiations. Mauer and Shapiro were all prepared to agree to a 10-year, 18million per with a no-trade clause, but the MLBPA said that would set a pretty low precedent for the rest of the league.

It sure puts the fans in a pretty goddamn precarious position. All our lives we thought the team was the players. Now we realize the team is a buncha old stingy bastards who don't wanna pay too much dough.

I dunno where I was going with this. Everyone looks stupid in these situations. To paraphrase Ron Gardenhire's response to Perkins' public statement that baseball is a business, "baseball is only a business if you pay attention to that stuff. When you step on the field, it's just a kids game."

Bryz said...

Uh oh, not the return of BronxBoi2.

hoftho said...

It's true, growing up on the streets in Sioux Falls can teach you a lot. Climbing up on those rocks in Falls Park is a perfect way for young children to hone their sneaking and entering skills. Also, I like the Tim and Eric references.

Anonymous said...

I heard from a friend of a friend of a Sister in-law's cousin who is Glenn Perkin's wife, that Glenn is the laziest professional athlete since John Daly or J.R. Ryder. His rigorous off-season workout schedule includes wii bowling and wii tennis. Any issue he has with the Twins office, I have ten issues with him.

kjamison said...

looking forward to hearing about labyrinth, muppets treasure island, anything fraggle, and power rangers: the movie

The Schlepp said...

"Great job Tim"

I just wanted to let you know what I really said to that man.

I said, "You remind of the babe."

He said, "What babe?"

I replied, "The babe with the power."

We then broke into a stunning rendition of David's Bowie "Magic Dance" right there in front of Target Field. He had to let us in after that ritual was performed due to voodoo creed. I also gained naming rights to his next child.

The Schlepp (formally known as Child Prodigy)