Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I Like Him. He's Kinda Like..... (notes on baseball players)

Jose Mijares

I like him. He's kinda like the cookie monster. He's always going around saying, "cookie cookie cookie!" I swear to god "cookie" was the only English word he knew for his first six months in country. He's also a good guy to have on the team.... because he's great at being the butt of jokes. Oh, he's just so not skinny and so not punctual. But he'll probably do alright this year.

Pat Neshek

I like him. He's kinda like a character from a Matt Christopher book. "The pitcher with the death metal arm." He's coming back from Tommy John surgery, so he's not even a lock to make the club. But in the spirit of spring training, everyone seems to agree that he's going to kick ass. Also, he likes death metal and throws sidearm. He'll probably do alright this year.

Francisco Liriano

I like him. He's kinda like the puppy who lost his way. He was the happiest pitcher in 2006 (in fact his nickname was 'happy'), but his killer slider ended up killing his elbow. Since coming back from Tommy John surgery he's had to learn how to actually pitch. He completely loses his composure with guys on base because he can't bomb his slider in and get the strikeout. This year he may have his confidence back though. Cuz he pitched great in the Dominican winter league. (coincidentally, I expect Alexi Casilla to hit about .350 because that's what he hit in the Dominican winter league.) So, you see, the Francisco was like the puppy. In that, they were both lost in the woods. And nobody, especially Rick Anderson - "society" - knew where to find 'em. Except that the puppy was a dog. But the pitcher, my friends, that was a revolution. He'll probably do alright this year.

Joe Nathan

I like him. He's kinda like your old '86 Pontiac Fiero. He still looks good, but I don't know how much he's got left. Experts still like him, despite his high-profile implosion in Yankee Stadium last October. And of course everyone looks great during Spring Training; Michael Cuddyer said he was filthy. That's a very positive term for a pitcher, and yet it doesn't boost my confidence in Nathan. To me, it means he's throwing a lot of junk with movement and trickeration. I'd rather hear the Twins closer described as over-powering or really really really fast or tourettesy. But whatever, he'll probably do alright this year.


Bryz said...

So more twitching from Joe Nathan is better?

HandsOnNight said...

I hope your referring to Liriano as "The Francisco" was on purpose. That is a better nickname than "Happy".

TwinsWin83 said...

Glen Perkins. I like him.

He's kinda like the Uncle no one in the family can stand but they put up with him because, hey, what are you gonna' do? No one else is going to claim him.

soup said...

Ditto on Perkins.

I like Alexi Casilla. He's kinda like your friend's little brother that always that you let hang around because he always says and does stupid things.

Anonymous said...

Jim Thome. I like him. He's like Dan Blocker, who played the big galoot Hoss in that old TV cowboy show "Bonanza." He's old and Gardy won't let him anywhere near a glove, but he smiles a lot and (they say) can still mash the ball. In a limited way, he'll probably do OK this year.


haasertime said...

more twitching is better,

I think Happy is a pretty good nickname. Hope everyone got the Billy Madison reference.

TW83: I agree. But do you think he'll do alright this year?

Alexi Casilla is my friends little brother.

Jim Thome likes to hit taters. Hopefully not our tater tot hot dish.

TwinsWin83 said...

Perkins will probably do ok. Unless he has a bad outing, then Im worried his shoulder will flair up again.

That Billy Madison reference was pretty subtle. If you would have put something in there about 'getting an ass out there and finding a fu#@ing dog,' then I might have picked up on it.