Monday, March 8, 2010

Alanis Themed Twins Notes

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I feel bad for Joe Nathan. He was put on a plane from sunny Florida to sloppy Minnesota to get an MRI on his bum elbow. He felt some discomfort after throwing just one pitch. However, it's likely that the pain was just some scar tissue breaking up. We'll see. I only have one thing to say about Joe Nathan: he's old. He's just quite old. Baseball players usually peak at about 28 years of age. Joe Nathan has been around long enough to see the earth circle (elipse?) the sun thirty-five times. Just imagine that. Around and around he goes. He has no concept of time other than it is flying. Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.

Dome Dog Success

I meant "hot dog success." I'm just accustomed to referring to hot dogs at Twins games as dome dogs. This switch to Target Field is sure tricky. But no one said it was going to be easy. Things change. People change. Baseball venues change.

It's times like these when I look to one person for advice: Alanis Morissette.

I picked up Jagged Little Pill when it first came out. It was probably 6th grade. I must have been a good little ConsumerSheep; I had to have bought it strictly because society told me to do so. Now here's the question: was society right? And further: should I have bought the album? Was it worth it? How do you define worth? How do you define good?

It's a complex question. And the answer changes. I've found that we don't see albums as they are. We see them as we are. This week, I must be awesome. Because that's how I see JLP. In these crazy days, I've found the shrieking Canadian songstress more relevant than ever. She sings of anger, love, frustration, religion, and ultimately, acceptance. The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses falling down. And it's done in a genuine, even humorous way.

Oh Right, The Hot Dogs

Alanis once wrote, "You wait and see when the smoke clears. You live, you learn." I should have listened to her before I wrote my silly obituary/rant for the dollar dog last week. I was reacting to all the anonymous internet rage that flowed after the Dome Dog death was announced. My logic was sound: it'll be hard to make a tasty dollar dog. However, my tone was pessimistic. I should have waited until the smoke cleared.

The Twins and Schweigert announced their partnership today, which will put four different kinds of hot dogs into Target Field concession stands. It's fantastic. Schweigert is a hometown company who happens to make a great hot dog.

I was excited to see that dollar dog night will still exist. However, they've changed it from Wednesday to Monday. And how many Monday games do the Twins play at Tarfield?

May 3rd
June 28th
July 19th
September 6th
September 20th


Injustice! Injustice! Stupid greedy Twins! I'm here to remind you of the mess you made of dollar dog day. It's not fair to deny me, of the dollar dogs that you gave to me. You oughtta know.

Target Field Excitement

OTM has a pretty fun write-up of his Target Field usher orientation. He says that, "no matter how high you set your expectations, TF will exceed them."

Tickets are going to be hard to come by though. The damn thing holds less than 40,000 people, and the Twins are close to selling 22,000 Full Season tickets. There's a realistic chance that every single game will be sold out before the season starts. For the past eight years or so, I've been attending 20-25 games per year. Now we have this beautiful outdoor stadium and I won't see more than ten games this season.

Isn't it ironic?


Anonymous said...

Those sneaky Target Field bastards and their dollar dog day flip-flop. I think its the Twins higher-ups that should have been counting Joe's laps around the sun. Are we just going to keep paying him 'til he physically can't do it anymore?

I love Alanis, and how you twist her words into Twins relevance.
Speaking of which, I overheard Neil Young telling Joe that it's better to burn out, than to fade away. my my hey hey.

Anonymous said...

i've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is typing a comment on alright hamilton.

Bryz said...

Thanks for the link :-)

I don't enjoy hot dogs, but that's a bit cheap of the Twins to switch Dollar Dog nights to Mondays. Even if you threw in away games, there aren't many Monday games during a season.

I'm no expert, but I feel that my best chance of watching a game as a fan (without help from friends) will probably come late in the season.

Anonymous said...

Alanis is to pop music as scar tissue is to Joe Nathan.

Dollar Dog day should be Saturday!


Anonymous said...

When I said, "pay him 'til he physically can't do it anymore." I wasn't expecting that to be now.