Thursday, April 15, 2010

Season thus far: Stream of Consciousness

So far, so decent.

-First, tip o' the hat to Haas, who has done a really nice job lately of updating this blog with some good material.

-I'm a little sad I didn't get around to do an over-the-top spring/opening-day post this year. But this post will certainly do.

- I fully intended to do this Target-Field-Opener post, in which I started to describe how excited I was to witness the opening of TF, but then get hilariously interrupted by friendly guest-posters. So I would be like: I'm so excited fo...wait..we have a special guest! It's my 13-year-old-imaginary-cousin, Madylyn!

Target Field is so here, you guys. I hope it likes me. It's soooooo cool . JK, you guys. I just... I dunno. Sometimes I think, "Hey, I love Target Field and I want to hang out with it!!!" Seriously, you guys, I'm just being like totally dumb, or whatever, but should I forsure love Target Field, or like L-U-V it? But I'm soooo-to-the-nervous. I mean, It's like, I totally did like 9 BAZILLION charcoal drawings of TF in my art class :P But...I dunno. The Twilight saga is like the TF of stadiums. But, whatever.

Then, of course, our old friend, Private Fitzwilliam Bingley:

Huzzah! May Target Field, in all her Majesty, be an opening to the heavens above. Let us scrape our sweet, sweet gentiles across thee abundant limestone. O' Target Field, for who am I to engorge in your plentiful fancy? I am but a man. A man who has had nothing but an insatiable desire to be part of your most bountiful field that is Target. In this same vigor, l'm going to get so drunk, you guys! I hope they serve rotgut.

And then a couple of other guest writers, but never got around to it. You get the idea.

- Whatever night it was, the crowd at the Angels game broke the record for, "The most fleece blankets worn at a single time," or whatever. This makes me mad. Yeah, I know Snuggies are America's nice little joke. Everybody is Jerry Seinfeld when the word "Snuggie" gets mentioned. "Have you seen these things?!?! I mean, come on! It's a blanket...WITH SLEEVES! I actually liked it the first time when it was called, 'Bathrobe on backwards,' amirite?!?!"

Haha, good job. What grinds my craw, however, is the mockery The Guinness Book of World Records has become. It was once a proud institution that produced a reference book of important world records. Before the late nineties it read like an almanac -- as a book of record should. Then, sometime while I was in middle school, they sold out. They went Ripley's-Believe-it-or-Not on us.

Then, of course, Guinness had the short-lived TV show, which showcased such ridiculous records as "Who can shoot milk from his or her eye the farthest?" That is not a world record. That, Guinness, is a freak show exhibition.

A while ago I linked to a very important world record about the worlds tallest dog, which is a very real and informative world record. In that same article, however, are stupid records ripe for the mocking like "Most nationalities in a single sauna."

In rant conclusion: Screw you Guinness Book of World Records and your bullshit records too.

In unrelated news, I'm still waiting to hear back from Guinness about whether or not my 2779 victories in FreeCell in a ten month period is a world record. Beat that, rest of the world.

- Sucks Joe Nathan went down. Thus far, however, it appears those of us that have devalued a closer's worth have been validated. Albeit less than two weeks into the season, Jon Rauch has been just fine.

Before this year, I have never been a huge fan of his. This is probably because I haven't paid him much attention. Saving some games for the Nationals means nothing to me. But his ability to throw quality strikes so far this season is impressive. A 91 mph fastball from an over-the-top 6'11" pitcher looks just as fast as any Joe Nathan fastball. And while Rauch doesn't have the same bevy of devastating off-speed pitches, he does have a nice twelve-to-six-curve that will compliment his fastball just fine.

My point is, that even after Nathan went down, we still have a pretty decent bullpen. Rauch will do fine (not as well, but fine) as closer. The rest of the bully will be good. In the 8th, Neshek from the right and Mijares from the left would be ideal. But, as much shit as they get, I don't have a lot of trouble pitching Matt Guerrier or Jesse Crain in important situations.

That's all for now.


TwinsWin83 said...

As uneasy as I feel when Rauch heads out of the bullpen, it is nice to watch a closer who doesnt do the motorboat inbetween every pitch and who looks like hes about to have a full-on anxiety attack at any moment.

Im still waiting for the other shoe to drop with Rauch

haasertime said...

i dunno if his height is a huge advantage. I heard that he doesn't extend his arm and releases early. He holds the guiness world record for the tallest pitcher with the shortest release point.