Thursday, July 16, 2009

First Half Review: AL Central Shipwrecks

Cleveland Indians - Lusitania - The Lusitania was an English ocean liner that was torpedoed by a German sub in 1915. The killing of 1,198 passengers helped change public opinion against Germany, and helped set the stage for The Great War. Likewise, Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge thought they could sail to the top of the AL Central without problems from the rest of the division. They made small upgrades by adding Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa, but ignored warning signs about their lack of starting pitchers, and ultimately, were shot down. Like the Lusitania, the horrific sinking of the Indians won't come without repercussions. Cleveland will realize the changes that need to be made, and have a much stronger second half.

Kansas City Royals - Edmund Fitzgerald - The Royals are taking on water, with a payroll $70 million dollars more than Dayton Moore's wallet weighs empty. They're a lot like the Edmund Fitzgerald - people know of them, but they don't know them. If it wasn't for that song, no one would know the tragic story of the shipwreck, and if the Royals didn't play the Yankees twice per season, no one would know how bad they are. It's no big loss when Kansas City sinks, because only 29 people care.

Minnesota Twins - USS Monitor - The Civil War Ironclad USS Monitor changed the face of naval battle by making shrewd trades and developing young talent. Impervious to enemy fire, (at least until the playoffs) the Twins set the standard for other organizations. However, the design was so fragile that one wrong move would send them under. Choppy seas and one small, but crucial design element (TB trade) sunk the Twins. The Monitor was still a revolutionary ship. The blueprints are there. Can Billy Smith realize his error, tweak the design and build a great ship?

Chicago White Sox - Bismarck - The White Sox sunk our favorite battleship in game 163 last season, now we want revenge. The Bismarck is the most feared ship in the division, made of pure evil, and built to destroy. Sink the Bismarck.

Detroit Tigers - Titanic - Sure, the Tigers are on top now. Built several years ago at a large cost, they're just bulky and immobile now. Guess what, Tigers? Iceberg, dead ahead!


brex said...

AH! = Andrea Doria

While navigating through a dense fog, under the command of Captain M.L. Haas, the Andrea Doria and several other freighters collided. This disaster has no logical explanation. It could have and should have been avoided, but radar readings aboard all vessels were misinterpreted.

bizmarkie507 said...

ha i love the homerism with the monitor.

Delmon Young is to bizmarkie507 as Nick Punto is to brex.

haasertime said...

the cubs are probably the andrea doria.