Thursday, March 12, 2009

No Data, Analysis, Sources, Nothing. Just Rash Predictions Because I Can.

With all the Credible Twins Blogs, Beatwriters, ESPN and the Dinosaurs over at the Strib/WCCO (well I having nothing bad to say about Mike Max anyway), there's no point in me putting in loads of effort and thought into breaking down analytical predictions and observations, because what's the point? This blogosphere needs more irrational thoughts and homerism. so here she goes.

Delmon Young: Will hit over .300 and 30+ bombs. That is if Gardy doesn't play favorites and start the most overrated Twin in Twins history (Michael Cuddye) instead. If that's the case I might not watch many games out of protest.

Carlos Gomez: Will strike out less, get caught stealing about the same staggering amount, and steal 90 bases.

Joe Mauer: Have you seen the new commercial with him playing video games with Joe Nathan? He was actually in some sort of character, and showed some type of acting ability. He'll probably miss some games and do what he always does.

Twins Starting 5: Best starting 5 in baseball, will dominate.

That Mirajes bullpen guy: He looked awesome last year, will look awesome again. He'll be a big help for the bullpen.

Joe Crede: I predict he will get a hit in spring training. Seriously though, he's still hitless. I bet he inherited the curse of the free agent signing. I used to be mad at the FO for never shelling out money on a big name free agent, but now I know why. Kudos Twins front office, Kudos.

Span: I see him having a sophomore slump. I honestly see denarded hitting .250 this year.

Kubel: 50 bombs.

Nathan: He started struggling towards the end of last year. I actually worry about him. Closers tend to have a window and once they start slipping they can go fast. Oh I hope that wasn't some form of analyzing. Actually screw it everything here is analysis, but it's too late to go back and redo this.

Morneau is Morneau. Or More-no. Which sounds dumber than the old pronounciation, but after all he is Canadian. You and you're hockey love. I wish you weren't so good at baseball so I could dislike you.

Jose Morales: This guy is so ready to be Mauer's backup. I've had a small man crush on him for a couple years now. He's good.

Brian Buscher: I don't know why hardly anybody thinks this guy is everyday material. Well his defense sucks, so I suppose that's a great reason, but he really needs at bats.

Casilla: Loves Fruity Loops.

Does Punto deserve a snippet? I don't think so.

Harris: Meh I'm bored with this already, he should be a nice little helper like he was last year.

Twins will win the division, and John Kruk will be forced to talk about them. I can't wait.


brex said...

Nick Punto deserves a god damn snippet

Nick Punto: Will continue to be an above average all around player but everyone will still rip him for 2006.

brex said...

by 2006 I mean 2007

haasertime said...

rash prediction - mauer wont play in a single game this year.

tfrezac2002 said...

I LOLed at your Kubelsy prediction.

I'm going to say it again like I did last year. Carlos Gomez will steal 100 bases, one for each time he actually gets on base.

Everyone reading this knows Cuddy-bear is going to get way more playing time than he deserves.

The J boys, Mauer, Morneau, and Crede will be 1-2-3 in the MVP voting. I'm just not sure of the order yet.

Gardy will stick with Casilla long after its obvious he sucks costing us crucial games. (A-la Livan Hernandez 2008)

Soup said...


We're comin

"Kubel: 50 bombs"


Holmer said...

Considering it's kinda my name, I should be the best homerizer of all.

50bombs? More like 60.

Is it possible to break the Cy Young award in to 5 pieces?

Seriously, I do not see the Denard slump. He is still competing heavily for a spot for motivation, his patients in the box, speed on the paths, and unmatched fielding will be the perfect compliment to the rest of the line-up. Team MVP '09!

bizmarkie507 said...

I've forgiven him for 2007, I love him as a utility backup, not as an every day shortstop.

Homer I hope you're right about Span, I just have a bad feeling about him for some reason.

soup said...

I too like Morales.

Both Slowey and Liriano will have better years than Baker.

Span will hit .280 but with a pretty nice OBP.

Gomez will hit more bombs for the Twins than Cuddyer.