Friday, August 22, 2008

The Thing About Cable Television

By Michael Haas

The thing about cable television is this: it stinks. I know what you're thinking - Haas dude, this is very unlike you, bitching about something completely random and taking up all my time. But just hear me out, my rants are generally truthful and largely unoffensive.

I grew up without cable Tv. I missed out on such quality programming as Beavis and Butt-head and Yo! MTV Raps, MacGuyver, Highlander, Pop-up Video, Salute Your Shorts, Wild n' Crazy Kids, and Quantum Leap. I didn't even have MSC. I felt cheated and disappointed that I had only 7 channels, as opposed to 70.

But since moving from my parents house some seven years ago, and having cable on and off, I've realized I don't need 70 channels - and I certainly don't need to pay for them. There isn't much worth watching on TV these days.

I write this because my room mates and I have been debating whether or not to get cable. I remembered a story from a few years back. For some reason, John Kerry cares about television. He thought it was bullshit that the consumer had to pay for channels that he/she did not want. I agree. He wanted to create a Cable TV Ala Carte. Wouldn't that be wonderful? What stations would you pay for?

Further reading:


haasertime said...

I would pay for history channel, FSN, ESPN, cartoon network and maybe tbs or something like that.

remember when vh1's tagline was 'music first' ?

now its all shitty reality shows. ridiculous.

bizmarkie507 said...

hahaha I do remember vh1s old tagline. That station is one of the biggest reasons why i dislike cable.

I would pay for

History Channel
Comedy Central
Cartoon Network

I recently discovered MSNBC at Tony's house. It's the least professional new channel in america, the women are hot, and they have really dirty minds. And Keith Olberman makes me laugh sometimes.

k-bro said...

Hey, I can actually remember when MTV stood for Music Television. Heck, I was in high school when MTV started -- it was a very big deal (Video Killed the Radio Star).

I would pay for:
FSN (to watch the Twins)
Every iteration of ESPN (isn't there like 16 of them now?)
Food Network (I have the hots for Duff and Geoff from Ace of Cakes)
and probably History and Discovery because they throw out an interesting show every once in a while

soup said...

The last couple of years I haven't had cable, and it's been fine. But if you can afford it, it's really nice to have.

I love kids that didn't have cable growing up, because I can destroy them in pop culture trivial pursuit. They're like, "What's a Solute Your Shorts?" And I just laugh and say, "The answer is Donkey Lips you idiot!!!"

The ala carte programing seems like a good idea. But I don't think it's a good idea to have the federal government tell private businesses what their customers want. I think only paying $3 a month for cable is a good idea, but I don't think the government should mandate that it be so.

Anonymous said...

I'd pay for every channel i could, and all the premo's aswell, why not, its really not that much, you split it up between some roommates. if you can spend an extra 5 bucks on more channels and some premo's rather than a double cheeseburger and some fries, that boaring day off of work or boring evening, you can just watch a movie, or some werid show on some channel, think of how many times those channels have saved your day/life from supreme boardom(sp.) I dont know just a thought.

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

Hey, don't forget about Lifetime Movie Network...where else would you get your fix of Melissa Joan Hart, Melissa Gilbert and Tracy Gold?

It's not just for girls anymore!

Oh, and the travel channel.

bizmarkie507 said...

lifetime movies are great. seriously. Some of them are really trashy.

TwinsWin83 said...

haha. good post.

I told DirecTV when I moved to South Dakota if I wasnt going to get FSN North there then Ill find some other provider that does have it. So I have all the regular channels here plus FSN North, free of charge, its great.

Channels I would ala cart
-FX- (simply because of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
-History Channel
-ESPN Classic
-Comedy Central
-Game Show Network
And Im seriously thinking about getting SHOWTIME. 12 bucks a month is almost worth it to see new episdoes of WEEDS and DEXTER.

Haas, I feel for you because my family only got cable during the summers growing up, so I had to get my fill of SNICK in June-August. That just wasnt enough 'Are You Afraid of the Dark' I felt pretty cheated too.

haasertime said...

I once loved Melissa Joan-Hart. I also love It's always sunny in philadelphia.

I used to watch the history channel all the time, but it's been making me angry as of late. It seems like it's all ice road truckers and axe men and shit like that. gross.

Holmer said...

I was a part of a cableless house growing up as well. Hell, we didn't get a T.V. til I was eight. Soup, we weren't all little eyes glued nerds growing up. And you're right, I have no idea who Donkey Lips is.

Out of the 70 basic channels out there, I watch three. ESPN, FSNN, and NBC's KARE 11. The rest of my TV time is spent in the movie channels.

Daymonster said...

I had cable when I was growing up and I am never going back. I currently have every single channel my cable provider offers (except the Spanish speaking package) I probably only watch about 10 or so channels but it makes me feel good that they are all there if I need them.

Soup, I was talking about Salute your shorts today too, but the answer to our question was Ug.

TW83 get Showtime, Weeds and Dexter are great. Showtime Too has Big Brother After Dark which I am the only one in the world who watches it.

TwinsWin83 said...

Anyone else see the big 'HAAS' billboard behind homeplate at Angels Stadium tonight? Around the fifth or sixth inning I think.