Thursday, August 28, 2008

Soup's Guest-Writer Series Part 3

In the third part of this series we are happy to have the Fox baseball crew of Eric Byrnes (EB), Kevin Kennedy (KK) and Jeane Zelasko (JZ) report on our Minnesota Twins.

KK: Okay, and now we have the always zany and entertaining, Eric Byrnes

JZ: Ha, the Energizer Byrnsie.

Guitar Solo Intro Music: beeeeeemedowdummedowdumwowowoweeeenow

EB: Alright! Wuz up! Beyrnsie here, and I'm stoked to talk about the Minnesota Twins. Their young pitching staff is soooooooo sicknasty. They are literally control freaks. Literally. Dude. They like giving up walks about as much as I like corporations and business suits!!!!!!

"Slide Whistle" Sound Effect: Beeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyooooooop

EB: And they can actually hit this year. The Minnesota Twins scoring runs? I know. It sounds like some serious craziness-action. But, like, they can totally strait up mash from the left side of the plate. Hey, right-handed-pitcher-dude, good luck pitching to the top of this order: Span, Casilla, Mauer, Morneau, Kubel. Oh, and lefty pitchers you're not off the hook either. These dudes can hit lefties too. For real. Mauer is leading the league in hitting against lefties. They may be able to hit, but of course, none of their hitters are as fun and crazy as me!!!!!!

"Spring" Sound Effect: Boingoingoingoingoing

EB: The Twins, though, have some serious issues with their bullpen. It was, like, always good, but not this year. They got Eddy Guardado. He nice. He should help. They also gots to watch out for the White Sox. Dude, they hit home runs like crazy people. Seriously. The South-siders hit home runs as often as I wear flip flops to weddings! (which is all the time)!!!!!!

Harmon muted trumpet: bwah wah wah waaaaaaah

JZ: Hahahahah

KK: Hahahahahaha

JZ: That Bernsie...haha...he's...

KK: Haha...Oh Bernsie...haha

JZ He's crazy...haha...I mean, that guy...


JZ: never know...haha

KK: Haha...yeah, you...

JZ: You never know what he's going to do next!!!

KK: You never know!!!!

JZ: You never know!!!

KK: Crazy man

JZ: Hahaha...he is crazy...haha

KK: Can you....hehehehe...believe that Bernsie?!?!

JZ: ha and that hair!!!! haha he has siiiiiiiiillllllly hair!!!!

KK: My God!!! That hair is crazy!!!

JZ: CAH. RAY. Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Holmer said...

Is that Roy Deden in a suit?

I have one message for Eric Burnes; Eat me. I wish your crazy hair could somehow produce the hits, runs, rbi, and stolen bases that you didn't have this year. You really killed my fantasy man. Hang-loose.

TwinsWin83 said...

haha i was thinking the same thing holmer before I clicked on the comments section. Is that Deeds or Eric Burnes?

haasertime said...

whoa eric byrnes, thanks for the insight.

you're one wild n crazy guy.