Friday, May 22, 2009

Weekend BlogNotesPost

- As the Twins were putting up 20 runs on the White Sox, Jake Peavy was rejecting a trade to the south side. If the Sox had Peavy, I don't think that would be a terrible thing for the Twins. His numbers have been inflated by Petco and the National League. They would have sent four players to San Diego to get him, players who definitely would help them down the road. Kenny Williams didn't even try to convince him to come, and he had a real ace up his sleeve: the president, who 'm sure could have phoned the Petco clubhouse and got him to play for the White Sox. If the President asks you to do it, you do it.

- Speaking of getting denied and slapped in the face, the Timberwolves had to settle for a guy who has been out of basketball for six years for their new GM. They called three other guys but were turned down. And you thought things were bad with McHale.

- Have you noticed that garbage trucks aren't the giant smelly rigs they once were? These days, they're all painted green and have something painted on it to the effect of, "Environmental Services." Well, yeah. Those trucks are like a hooker with the clap. They'll service you but.....you're going to get itchy.

- Have some spare time? You may want to check out Greg Rutter's Definitive List of the 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced on the Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something. One notable omission is "Zombie Kid Likes Turtles." I think it's funny because it's like an absurd-sandwich. It's absurd because the kid looks like a goofball. And then it's more absurd because of the thing that comes out of his mouth. He's innocent and real. It's the best thing ever.




- Did you know that most Under Armour material and it's knock-offs is just polyester? Polyester is the same material associated with terrible suits from the 70's, and now it's a high-tech fabric that makes athletes perform better.

From their website:

The technology behind Under Armour's diverse product assortment for men, women and youth is complex, but the program for reaping the benefits is simple: wear HeatGear® when it's hot, ColdGear® when it's cold, and AllSeasonGear® between the extremes.

Under Armour's mission is to provide the world with technically advanced products engineered with our superior fabric construction, exclusive moisture management, and proven innovation.
So there you have it. From maligned disco leisure suits to Jose Reyes endorsements, polyester has risen from fabric hell to take over the world once more.

- Headline of the week: Kid With Cancer Can't Even Read

There's this 13-year old Minnesota kid who was diagnosed Hodgkin Lymphoma, given chemotherapy but decided he didn't like it. He and his family joined a quack religion founded ten years ago by an ex-con who had been convicted in two states for misleading investors in an alternative-health mushroom-growing business. The group has also criticized by real alternative medicine and Native American groups as exploitative of Native American traditions to make money. The family pays $100 dollars a month for membership in the religion. When the court gave the 7th grader some court documents, he couldn't even recognize the word 'the.' He's been home-schooled. Which has been as successful as their home-remedies. I hate when the government has to tell people what to do, but when it's life and death, and you're dealing with complete morons, the decision is easy. Now the kid and his mom are on the lam.

- Yankee Stadium Exposé update

It appears that many other professional ballparks break rule 1.09 amendment 1. Here's a list of the offenders:

Tropicana Field: Left field 315, right field 322
Minute Maid Park: Left Field 315
AT&T park: Right field 309
Kingdome: Right field 312
Camden Yards: Right field 318
PNC Park: Right field 320
PETCO Park: Right field 322

It looks like those swindlers up in Seattle were the first to break the rules when the built the Kingdome in 1976. I guess the MLB rulebook isn't really a set of regulations to live by, but a way for officials to fix and to punish. Nonetheless, I will email all members of the playing rules committee, including Rod Carew and Terry Ryan. If all goes well, the Twins should be able to get a number of wins out of this, if not a World Series trophy!

2 comments:

Abe Frohman said...

Actually, polyester is a very high tech fabric. Check out it's wikipedia page. Yankees suck!

Anonymous said...

i hope that kid dies