Monday, May 18, 2009

The duality of Twins fans

When the result of a game is negative, we tend to focus on all the negative things that contributed to the loss. When the result of three games in a row is heartbreakingly negative, a more instinctual reaction occurs, almost a fight-or-flight response. It's either tear the team to shreds with comments on, or not think about it until tonight's game. The following is two extreme views on the Twins, thoughts battling inside one Twins fan's brain.

Note: all of these thoughts have been taken from the unedited comments on Sunday's gamestory on

Shoulder Devil: Grow a pair! Someone help me figure out what the identity of this ballclub is? I see a small ball team who no longer does the little things to win that way. Not to beat a dead horse but Cuddy is absolutely brutal!! Seems like us diehard loyal fans take these losses worse than some of the players on this team,and that's pretty sad!!!!!

Shoulder Angel: sniff sniff, whine whine. Pathetic - and I'm not talking about this very fine young Twins team. Go Twins.

Shoulder Devil: Harris sat today for what reason Gardy??????? So you could play Buescher / Punto and Tolbert at THREE positions where you could have inserted a .300 bat instead of Buesher@ .217 , Punto @ .194 or Tolbert @ .179.....Then you dont sac with Buescher.....Because he's on a hot streak ??? Or Bueschers got power??? WHY ??? Looking at our bullpen I would have to assume Bill Smith is deaf/dumb and blind..yet he can find a buffet every day it appears but yet he cant find ONE reliever. But he needs to eat 5 square meals a day to keep that death grip on the Pohlads $$$$$$$$$$$. Oh yeah.Good game CUDDY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shoulder Angel: This is a test of character. Winners persevere. From an intellectual perspective, there is a trend of losing to the AL East. That trend has to stop.

Shoulder Devil: Triple FAIL! Glad the series is over.

Shoulder Angel: Sitting back in armchairs...

All right now, everyone quit their day jobs already! Such incredible baseball acumen has never before been seen in print EVER! It would be great if the Twins were totally dominant in every position. If they were they'd win every game they played! But they aren't and no other team is either. Get this you guys.... here's a little secret to ponder.... The Yankees are trying to win too! And oh... by the way, they're playing at home. If Twins fans expect to win every series if not sweep an opponent at the Dome in order to actualy give compliments to the team, the Yankees are trying to achieve the same success on THEIR home field! This isn't to say I enjoy seeing our team lose these tight games... its getting awfully old. But look at it this way. The Twins are hanging with the Yankees in every game. Or is it the Yankees hanging with the Twins and needed to win by walk offs?

Shoulder Devil: Jesse struts in. Wiggles his necklaces Acts like a stud throws another game losing pitch Jesse struts off.

Shoulder Angel: For one thing, it isn't like this is game 7 of a playoff series, you lose and you go home, it is game 39 of the baseball season, there are plenty more games to go. If Ayala, who as obviously lost Gardenhire's trust is removed from the bullpen and someone else comes in that can slow their pace down, they will be fine. There is still 3/4 of the season left and you're sounding like a Rockets or Celtics fan.

Shoulder Devil: The Yankees are to baseball...

...what poop is to pleasant smells.


tfrezac2002 said...

Why, why, why, WHY! Does Harris not play every damn day?! Can anyone answer me that? NO? Didn't think so.

elston gunnn said...

is that twins fan laughing or crying? difficult to tell these days...

soup said...

I commend you for forging through the comment section of the Strib. It gets a little Apocalypse Now in there sometimes.

bizmarkie507 said...

Rezac, I agree, but Tolbert needs to be in there to follow one of Gardenhire's fundamental rules: We must, at all times, have a terrible hitter batting second in the lineup.

Here's another fun question: like why is Gomez being a reserve so the twins can have a PR/defensive replacement instead of playing full time in Rochester where he can learn how to not swing at balls 2 feet out of the strike zone and learn how to not get picked off?

But thankfully I pretty much wrote this series off as a disaster before it even started so I haven't been borderline homicidal like other Twins fans have been.

P.S. The minute Jesse Crain is designated to assignment is the minute the Bullpen automatically becomes slightly better.

bizmarkie507 said...

lol Soup. I get a kick out of the posters who are all, "I disagree with your comment....I hope you go kill yourself!!" Whoa calm down there, laptop warrior.

jammyman said...

i went to the twins pro shop in roseville once to get jesse crain's autograph on a ball. it wasn't worth the 5 minute drive.

TwinsWin83 said...

Mark Teixeria is officialy my new least favorite player in baseball (Sorry Jim Thome).

How come no one told me he was such a D Bag? Why had I not noticed this before?