Monday, May 18, 2009

non-Yankees series related notes

-Guess who is leading the National League in batting average? It's our old friend and the world's fastest human, Christian Guzman!! The baseball reference May 15th stat of the day informs us that the WFH also has the most ABs in the majors with out a walk. 101! The next closest is Robinzon Diaz with 30. That's Twins baseball right there.

-Two players that have worn a Twins jersey made this list of the "best recent baseball deliveries." Neshek, of course, takes first place. The other player only pitched six innings for the twins, but is still quite awesome. I'll give you a hint. He rivals the Big Sweat for the fattest faced Twin.

-Denard Span has to be leading the majors in 3-2 counts. I know there is a way to use the internet to confirm this, but... I'm real busy. Paperwork and what not. So there is five blog points for anyone that actually finds the stats on this.

-We here at AH! have a rich history of providing the public with compelling optical illusions. In this spirit, we are happy to report that according to the American Institute of Physics, "The three best visual illusions in the world were chosen at a gathering last weekend of neuroscientists and psychologists at the Naples Philharmonic Center for the Arts in Florida." I bet it was quite a party.

The winning entry attempted to demonstrate why the curve ball is so hard to hit.

This year's winning illusion, created by Arthur Shapiro of Bucknell University
in Pennsylvania, may explain this phenomena. His animation shows a spinning ball
that, when watched directly, moves in a straight line. When seen out of the
corner of the eye, however, the spin of the ball fools the brain into thinking
that the ball is curving.

So as a baseball flies towards home plate, the
moment when it passes from central to peripheral vision could exaggerate the
movement of the ball, causing its gradual curve to be seen as a sudden jerk.

-Friends, we really need to talk about this.

The Montauk Monster is gunna git ya! Well, maybe not this particular one. It looks quite dead and bloated. But still be on the lookout. Look at that thing. That is one mangy, mangy, beast. There are many theories on the identification of this animal. The most plausable, as wikipedia reports, is "or perhaps a science experiment from the nearby government animal testing facility, the Plum Island Animal Disease Center"

Now we're getting somewhere. This creature is clearly the creation of some mad scientist. I suspect this guy:
Look at him. There is no way he's not trying to raise an army of mutant monsters to take over the world. He's clearly mad, and judging by the lab coat and bow tie, is in fact a scientist. He must be stopped.

-Baseball's former bottom prospect, Phillip Snodgrass, has officially announced his retirement. He did not speak to reporters but did release this statement:

This is such bull-crap

His surprising retirement is undoubtedly linked to this startling development:


haasertime said...

the twins should sign montauk monster. His mission: see mark teixiera? fuck. him. up.

either him or ol snodgrass.

I saw the wackiest game at dodger stadium last night. Carlos Beltran was playing infield, and the mets fucked everything up. It was great. Also, AC Slater was there!

Daymonster said...

I'm more concerned that the pizza place doesn't take AmEx

bizmarkie507 said...

I don't know why but this makes me laugh really hard everytime i see it

Daymonster said...

That address doesnt work.

bizmarkie507 said...


TwinsWin83 said...

Between the Montauk Monster and ManBearPig I'd say we all need to tiptoe lightly.

Daymonster said...

hahah i am getting that on a shirt.

jammyman said...

that is a raunchy animal. they said it could be a sea turtle that lost its shell. right.

tfrezac2002 said...

The triples machine, Christian Guzman, earned his first walk of the season the other day. He's on pace for 200 hits and 4 walks.