Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Notes: condiments, roster moves, and Korean cartoons

-We are all hoping that the food at Target field will be better than the Metrodome, and I think it will be. But how can we improve the condiment selection? I have the answer, friends. I give you Squeez Bacon!

-On Friday Joe Mauer is coming baaaaaaaaack! They are shining his armor and saddling his white horse as we speak. Unfortunately this means bizmarkie507's man crush, Jose Morales, will be sent back down to his natural habitat in Rochester. He's leading the team in average, OBP, and a very impressive line drive percentage (32.1%), but his demotion is really the only move the team can make.

Despite Morales' lack of defensive deftness, I'm sure a handful of Major League teams would take him over their starting catcher right now. He has hit .322 in his last 611 ABs between AAA and the Majors. So, hopefully he'll still get some time with the big league club this season. He's done a nice job as the third catcher -- filling the huge shoes left by Chris Heintz.

-19th century baseball stat of the day: In 1875 Al Spalding's win-loss record was 55-5. Years later Spalding's sneaker, "Hakeem the Dream" was invented. The rest is history.

-Jaun Morillo is fascinating to watch. Obviously he throws really hard, but everyone watching him, including himself, has no idea where the ball is going to go. I'm not sure I have seen this from a Twins pitcher before. When Morillo pitches the catcher just puts his glove in the exact middle of the strike zone every time and hopes he can get close. Very entertaining.

Sure, he has a 22.50 ERA, but it's a low 22.50. It's really more like a 22.49 if you think about. Plus it's kind of fun to say "Morillo." If middle-school-me (who based pitching ability exclusively on velocity) were writing this, he would tell you that the Twins should keep the flamethrower when Jesse Crain comes back and send down R.A. Dickey. Then middle-school-me would laugh about writing "Dickey."

-Let's play a game I like to call Create-a-Translation. The real translation is funny in its own right, and I'll post it later, but let's dust off our Korean dictionaries and give it a shot.

Here's mine:

Dimitri: Brother, your tendency to ground ball has brought the shame of a thousand broken waterfalls to our family

Delmon: Brother Meathook, your talk gives me the many angers! Let this bat break with violence to show the feelings in me!

Give it a try. It's fun.

Actual Translation:

Dimitri: “Because your face looks exactly like mine, you will be a great star!!”

Delmon: “No! My appearance is not like that!!!”

“DNA can’t be cheated!!”

“Po-jik” (Korean breaking sound)

Caption: “Purveyor of dirty personality!!”


bizmarkie507 said...

Jose is a great hitter. I wish he knew how to be a catcher though. Either way he'll be a fine Redmond replacement.

2010 is still the year the twins are going to be awesome, and Anthony Slama is gonna make sure that happens. He's a minor league relief pitcher, and has been lights out so far in AA. Here's some awards he's won so far as well:

11/24/2008 MLB.com Class A Adv. Relief Pitcher of the Year
10/23/2008 AFL Rising Stars
10/02/2008 Baseball America High Class A All-Star
08/27/2008 FSL Post-Season All-Star
06/14/2008 FSL Mid-Season All-Star

Not bad for a gut who was drafted in the 39th round, huh?

tfrezac2002 said...

I like what this Morales cat can do. He will be a good Redmond replacement, or fill in when Joe undoubtedly hurts himself again.

When Crain is reactivated, the only player that can be moved is Luis Ayala. He is just plain horrible. Last year he was the worst pitcher, on the worst staff in baseball in Washington. Opponents are hitting .366 off the guy!

Dmitri: "I hate playing for a loser. Do you think you could talk to Gardy and get me in a trade to MN? I know how close you and him are."

Delmon: "The truth is here, I said the truth is here! I want more, gimme more, I want more god damn it I'm back to demanding."

Tricia said...

Man, my day is complete now that I know squeeze bacon exists. How does anyone get along without it?

It's true...the food inside the Dome is no good, but have you ever had one of those $3 corn dogs on the plaza? That's good eatin' right there.

haasertime said...

want plaza corndog..with squeez bacon. hold the swine flu, plz.

"I teach you ways of natty facial hair"

"natty facial hair is all that you speak of! Let this bat break with violence to show the feelings in me!"

jammyman said...

Dmitri: "Hehehe. Maybe my legacy as better Young brother secure afterall..."

Delmon: "You take one-half bat, I take one-half bat! Duel to the deaaaaaaaaaath!"

haasertime said...

I was actually closest with the facial attributes theme.