Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Live painting: Twins vs Blue Jays 4-15-09

It's very important to express your feelings. It's a fact. I read it on the internet AND I heard it on Tyra. Some people like to do this through written word. I prefer painting. So I have live-painted game ten of this young season.

First inning:

Baker pitches a scoreless first inning to kick off Butch Huskey Day.

Their pitcher looks like a Muppet.

Casilla singles. Morneau doubles. I like where this is going. Kubel gets one in! Flaming Globes of Sigmund! Morneau scores on a passed ball! Twins lead 2-0! I must get this joy from my soul out on to the canvass!

Joy Times Infinity

This is a painting of Alexi and me at space camp wearing cool Hawaiian shirts, drinking beer, and absolutely pounding Froot Loops. And you can't tell from the painting, but the Beach Boys are on full blast in the background. It's impossible to be happier than the events that are transpiring in this painting.

Don't mind us, Rita. We're doing just fine. Your air walk looks great, by the way. You have the NASA issued air walking sandals and everything. Actually there is one thing you could do for us. I know it's mathematically impossible to calculate how happy we are, but can you just try with you calculator watch?

And Carol, don't even try to ruin our fun with your stupid lanyards and unfortunate choice of clothing.
Second inning:
In honor of Scott Bakers scoreless first inning I sculpted his bust into marble. Unfortunately I can't get this three dimensional masterpiece onto your two dimensional computer screen. So I painted a picture of my bust of Scott

Painting of a Scott Baker Bust

I immortalize you into marble and this is how you repay me? With a two run homer to Scott Rolen? See, this is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about, Carol.

Correction: The players are wearing 42 to honor Jackie Robinson and not Butch Huskey. That makes a lot more sense, actually.

Third inning:

Aaron Hill and Vernon Wells hit home runs. I'm going to update my Facebook status to something vague like "is very upset." Then people will have to say things like "Why? what's wrong?" Then I can feel loved.

Denard is on. Kubel is up. I'm sensing a rally coming. This calls for a painting.


And a ground out.

Fourth inning:

Well, this isn't fun. However, Lyle Overbay. It's been a couple of years since we talked about Lyle.

Slowey is talking to Baker in the dugout. I think its going something like this: "I'm gunna ask you a question, Scotty. Who's the bigger winner tonight? Huh? Who's the big winner? Scotty wins!"

I would like to take a second to give credit to what Scott Richmond is doing out there tonight. It hasn't been an easy road, but he has persevered. And now Scott Richmond is the first Jim Henson Muppet to make it to the big leagues. I have celebrated this historic event with a portrait of Richmond and singer, actor, and friend of puppets, David Bowie.

Muppet Makes It

You are an inspiration to Muppets everywhere.

Fifth inning:

My feeling on the fifth inning can be summed up thusly

Whispering Solitude

There it is, you guys. This painting is a window into my inner-most thoughts about the fifth inning of this game. You probably don't even get the painting. I'm not surprised. Most of my work is a little too "deep" for people. But there is no way I'm going to dumb it down just to make it more "commercial," or whatever. Seriously, my art is not even about the money.

6th inning:

Lyle Overbay update: Sunday is Lyle Overbay bobble-head day at the Rogers Centre.

Rest of the game:

A bunch of other stupid stuff.

Aaron Hill Being Eaten by Mutant Rats

This is a painting of Aaron Hill being eaten by mutant rats.


Anonymous said...

Ha. Those rats look normal to me.

Kubism: That painting should be hanging in the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. Or it should be the centerpiece of the art gallery at Target Field. Thay are going to have an art gallery, aren't they?


tfrezac2002 said...

No, I'm pretty sure it was Butch Husky day. He really revolutionized the game with grossly inflated Coors Field stats. You should paint a picture of Butch. If you forget what he looks like, you can find a doppleganger at any local Eagles club, he'll be the fat, balding guy, talking about the glory days to himself and crying into his beer.

haasertime said...

really, really good. Alright Hamilton has taken a distinctly multi-media tone over the past week.

I understand Whispering Solitude.

Kubel makes a better painting that a ballplayer.

soup said...

I did paint a picture of Butch. It's called Whispering Solitude.

jammyman said...

space camp is an amazing movie