Friday, October 19, 2007

If Manny Wasn't Manny, Who Would He Be?

By Michael Haas

A lot has been made of Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez lately. He throws his arms up triumphantly when bashing homers, and acts unpredictably at other times. All of this confusing behavior is explained by an all encompassing theory. The Manny Being Manny Theory. But it's not so much a theory as it is a law.
The Manny Being Manny Law states that whatever Manny Ramirez does, it is because he is, in fact, Manny Ramirez. Manny's behavior is Manny, and Manny is his behavior. No one has ever dug deeper than this. I assume that people have tried, but they can't come up with any proper explanations for his actions, nor any adjectives to describe him.

So he's just Manny. And whenever he acts in his allegedly inimitable style, Manny is being Manny.

Does this make sense to anyone else?

Manny Manny Manny. I swear to god if I hear that phrase explain away his behavior once more, I am just going to snap.

Rather than explain his behavior by using brain busters, let's think of some adjectives.

Idiotic

Lazy

Goofy

Bush league

Egotistical

Unmotivated

Rich

Funny

Oft-injured

Smiley

Dumb

Content (in some cases)

Argumentative (in other cases)


So maybe journalists, sportscasters and fans know these things, but they don't want to bring him down. For all his negative attributes, it's hard to hate on a spacey, funny, pure baseball masher. Especially from Boston. Especially in our baseball world of non-personalities like Derek Jeter and Joe Mauer. I'd much rather be debating Manny's homerun celebrations than Bond's steroids and tainted records. Baseball!

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4 comments:

brex said...

When I read his quote is the paper, I laughed because he's a bum who doesn't play defense. But why are people upset? It is a dumb thing to say but it's true, he's just being himself and I apreciate it. Manny is Manny. Word.

TwinsWin83 said...

When he stands and watches any pitch he hits farther then 300 feet I can only think of one word do describe Manny: Jackass.

About the only time this is even somewhat cool is when it comes after a game winning walk-off bomb like he had in the first round against the Angels. When he hit a homer the other night to pull the BoSox to within 7-3 he and just stood there and pimped it it looked utterly rediculous.

Manny needs to work on being Manny in smaller doses and at more appropriate times.

Daymonster said...

It just bothers me, if he wasnt famous he would just be an asshole.

soup said...

This summer ESPN classic did a marathon of perfect games last spring and I think it was Abbot's vs. the Indians. Manny was a rookie and looked like a baby. He didn't have his dredlock on. He was a timid wide-eyed rookie. It was really weird to see.

I also thought is was funny when the announcer said, "This Ramirez kid has a real nice swing but a work in progress with his defense. That will come with age."

ha, not quite.