Monday, May 14, 2007

Everything I learned about life, I learned by watching TGIF

by Twinswin83

Most young children acquire the knowledge and experiences that they use to shape the type of person they become from their parents, grandparents, close aunts or uncles, teachers, coaches or peers. Not me. Not even a little bit. Which isn’t to say I didn’t have people around me that could have taught me the appropriate life lessons, it’s just that I had a more qualified and enjoyable tutor: ABC’s 2 hour Friday night line-up of lovable sitcoms known by it’s now oft-copied moniker of T.G.I.F (not to be confused with that restaurant overloaded with waitresses weighed down by flair where you and your buddies stop when Buffalo Wild Wings is closed). Each show taught me something new, something different and something that would help me along the rocky road of adolescence. Here is a tidbit of what each of those half-hour long life sessions taught me:

Full House:

An original entry into the T.G.I.F line-up, but found it’s more recognizable place on Tuesday evenings. A lot of hip 20-somethings today like to claim that this show was, “like totally my favorite when I was a kid.” The truth is, if you go back and watch the re-runs the show is not only poorly assembled but many of the scenes are downright uncomfortable to watch. Now that I’ve said my piece I’ll go ahead and admit that I watched the damn show every week until an age that I’d rather not admit to. Here is what I learned from Uncle Joey, Danny, Kimmy Gibbler and the whole gang:

*You don’t have to have a mother to have a blast; three corny, middle-aged white men can do the job just fine
*If you grow up in San Francisco you will inevitably have a run-in with the Beach Boys, and that run-in will be glorious
*Play an adorable, somewhat sassy little girl on a family sitcom and use the phrase, “You got it dude,” at least once an episode and you will one day grow up to rule the world
*Old guys who like cartoons who can make funny voices and live in the basement are cool
*Everyone has an annoying teenage girl living next door. The best way to deal with that girl is to berate her with insults about how strange her home life is and how badly her feet smell
*Tough guys have pink bunny stencils on their bedroom walls

Boy Meets World:

Personally my favorite addition to the historic T.G.I.F. ensemble, and one that I wished was as replayed on basic cable as much as some of the other shows are. Although the early seasons are more solidly constructed with better story lines, I still enjoyed the later years when the show got a little goofy and seemingly “jumped the shark.” Either way, this program was jammed packed with life lessons, and I thus got my fill of them:

*Every high school has one dominant bully, and that bully will most certainly be dressed in a black leather jacket, tight jeans and speak as though he came directly from an audition to play a ‘Greaser” in an Outsiders remake.
*Little sisters are expendable. In some cases they can go missing for an extended period of time, returning as a different person all together and no one will have missed them or be all the wiser to her extensive absence
*If you have an elderly, loveable teacher who sounds like Kit from Knight Rider don’t worry, he will always remain your teacher no matter what your age or grade
*A Topanga is not a kind of tofu platter
*Living in a trailer park and without a mother doesn’t make you white trash. It means that you are dangerous and can have any girl you want, no matter how much flannel you wear
*When you go to college, it’s just like high school. There's all the same people and teachers, only with a couple colorful new friends added in
*Cool people wait until marriage to have sex with their girlfriend of 10 years

That’s all for now folks, next time I’ll enlighten you on how Step by Step, Family Matters and Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper provided me with enough knowledge about life to make it through Junior High…..


the Dutchie said...

How could you leave out Perfect Strangers? Larry and Balki were some of the greatest!

haasertime said...

i thought the Tanners met the Beach Boys in Hawaii or some sort of Disney resort type thing

bizmarkie507 said...

Yeah I think it was like a 3 part episode when they went to Disney World and played with the Beach Boys at the end. Those were really awkward episodes, and you could see how out of place the actors were. Full House should never be filmed outdoors. period.

tfrezac2002 said...

They were actually 3 completly different episodes. The Hawaii episode the family gets stranded on a deserted Island. They meet the Beach Boys when DJ wins a radio contest where the Beach Boys pick her up and take her to their concert. The problem is DJ only won 2 tickets, but the Beach Boys in their generosity allow the whole gang watch. The Disney World episode is where Danny "popped the question" to Vicky, and Stephanie was princess for the day and Michelle wandered off because she was pissed Stephanie was getting all the attention.
Further more, I agree that perfect strangers was a great show.

bizmarkie507 said...

I'm pretty sure Steph won princess for the day, but for some reason Michelle took it, and Steph was super pissed.

I could've sworn that was at least a two parter.

I could be wrong on both though.

All I know is I wanted to marry Jodie Sweeten when I was little.

tfrezac2002 said...

It was a indeed a 2 part episode. Michelle didn't try to take princess for a day, because she had been the princess for every other episode of the series.