Friday, September 5, 2008

Dennys Reyes For President

I'm sick of politicians rhetoric. I was thinking to myself: Dennys Reyes could talk just as big as the two presidential candidates could. They all say the same thing anyway....

"Hi, I'm Big Sweat. I'm pleased to accept my parties nomination to seek the office of the president of the united states. If elected, I will take on big business, special interest groups, lobbyists, corruption, and "D.C. business as usual." This is a pivotol time for our country, we face challenges. I'm a veteran. I'm not afraid to cross party lines and put America first. We, as Americans, are not satisfied with the status quo. I promise meaningful change. We cannot afford more of the same. blah blah blah I didn't even write this speech. Everything I say is designed to win votes and get elected"

"A mitt on every hand, and a diamond in every yard"

"Ask not what the Twins can do for you, but what you can do for the Twins!"

"A Dome divided against itself cannot stand"

"Speak softly and carry a big baseball bat"

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the bullpen, or that we are to stand by Gardy, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the Twins fanbase."

"The only young lefties we have to fear, are the young lefties themselves"

"We will bring the White Sox to justice; or we will bring justice to the White Sox. Either way, justice will be done."

"We are a city that has a baseball team—not the other way around. And that makes us special among the cities of the earth."

"There is nothing wrong in Joe Mauer that can't be fixed with what is right in Joe Mauer"

"Metropolitan Sports Facilities Commission, tear. down. this. Dome."


Jim H. said...

The Big Sweat campaign is on! I'm much more enthusiastic about Reyes than those other guys. His slogans are sweet, his sliders have bite; I'm with Big Sweat.

Daymonster said...

So this is probably only interesting to me. But last night my gf asked me the score of the Cubs game. And I said "10-2" then she asked about the Twins and I said "10-2" and then she asked about how the White Sox did and I said "10-2". I didn't really realize how interesting that was until I said it.

soup said...

"I would remind you that throwing strikes in defense of a lead is no vice"

The opposition has also released a statement:

"Pat Neshek was a friend of mine, and sir, you're no Pat Neshek."

Holmer said...

After watching that Granderson bomb, I vote NO!

Should have left Baker in.

Daymonster said...


Jim H. said...

Matty G. for VP?

haasertime said...

yo soup, have you been to an LG Twins game in Seoul yet? I'll pay you back if you wanna buy me a shirt of theirs..

soup said...

I haven't been to Seoul yet. But I will soon I'm sure and will keep my eye out for a jersey.