Monday, July 2, 2007

BOOO Nice People!

By Soup Rahn

Anyone can be nice. People cannot choose their personalities. They can, however, choose whether they are nice or not. When niceness is the dominant characteristic of person’s personality it is most certainly derived from adaptation. As every adolescent goes through the growing pains of self-awareness they need to do a personal inventory of the good and bad aspects of their personality. Some are funny. Some are smart. Some are interesting. Some are fun. Some are none of these things, and their only remaining characteristic to offer to society is being nice.

This shouldn’t be a big deal. Nice people shouldn’t really negatively affect me. Unfortunately they do. The problem is I am expected to like all nice people. Well, I don’t like all nice people. I don’t want to hang out someone who is not fun, funny, or interesting. I don’t care how much they can smile and wrinkle brow in fake interest during a conversation.

You never tell stories about that friend who is really nice. The best stories are about that asshole friend that gets kicked out of the bar for pissing in the middle of the dance floor.

Nice people live in cracks between the excitement the rest of us create.

So, give me Trent Walker over Sam Gamgee


Give me Seinfeld over The Brady Bunch


You can keep your nice people, society. Me and the rest of us assholes will be keeping your lives interesting.

5 comments:

bizmarkie507 said...

I agree. Tim Burton's Batman trumps every other comic hero movie because Batman is a total bad ass. Screw Happy Go Lucky Superman.

Same goes with Wolverine. He was awesome because he hated everyone and was willing to fight impossible odds, as long as he could take down enough people with him. Then you look at nerdy Cyclops who was always all prissy and wholesome. What a loser.

tfrezac2002 said...

When I think about being nice, I just think about the words I try to live my life by: "I'll blow out your candle to make mine burn brighter."

Daymonster said...

you know who is not nice? Pat Neshek. Vote for him.

haasertime said...

pat neshek is so badass. watch for his campaign initiatives on AH! tomorrow.

the Dutchie said...

there are also those who are nice badasses.

like andre the giant in "the princess bride". he is so nice to wesley, but such badass to all the henchmen.

or...
william wallace. he is one of the baddest mother fuckers in the history of the world, but he's so nice to his own people.

i enjoy these types of people. the ones who can turn their badassness on and off with a snap of the fingers.