Thursday, January 21, 2010

Who is Danny Valencia?

When discussing the options the Twins have at third base, the conversation usually begins with Matt Tolbert, Brendan Harris or Nick Punto and then progresses to Melvin Mora or Joe Crede. Puuuke. Luckily, the conversation always ends with one name: Danny Valencia.

Any potential opening day third baseman is consistently referred to as a "placeholder" for Valencia. Who cares who's playing third base, he'll only be around until the great Danny Valencia is done being seasoned at Rochester. Every time. And it's kind of annoying actually. It's just like how any Star Wars article or news item will have a comment section with a mention of Han Solo shooting Greedo.

When George Lucas was digitally messing with the original Star Wars trilogy for re-release in 1997, he made some slight changes. Remember when Jabbas' goon Greedo confronts Han Solo about some late payments and tries to blow his head off? Luckily for Han, Greedo misses and he's able to shoot him under the table. This is different from the original 1977 version, when the swashbuckling Han kills Greedo before he even thinks about firing.

I agree with most Star Wars fans that Hans' preemptive killing of the goon was key to his character development. Keep in mind that he had been introduced only moments before, and had only been talking shop with Luke and Obi-Wan. Han's drama sequence should definitely portray him as a shoot-first, rogue badass scoundrel smuggler; instead of some dork in a vest who just allowed a green guy to get the drop on him.

There isn't really another side to the argument. No one is disagreeing. That's why it's so confusing to see this statement sprinkled across the internet "HAN SHOT FIRST" han shot first. Han shot First!

Oh sure, it's an undeniable example of how crazy old George Lucas is corrupting the franchise. It's like saying, "I know more about your movie than you do - and it's your movie." Well congratulations, because the phrase has officially been done to death.

Every corner of the internet where anything Star Wars is discussable, someone says, "yeah, but who shot first?" knowing full well someone will respond with "Han" or even this picture of George Lucas wearing a 'Han Shot First' tee shirt. If someone answered facetiously with, "greedo," they'd probably get torn apart because they take this thing is taken Very Seriously.

Anyway, I think Danny Valencia is pretty good. He's 25 years old with an above average glove and gets on base at a pretty good clip. But he probably won't make the all-star team. Ever. And if he found himself in a dark cantina, some green doofus would probably turn him into bantha fodder before he could even unholster his blaster.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When Valencia finally does make his debut with the Twins, some people will be calling him Greedo and other people will be wondering why. It may be AH!s most lasting contribution to Twins lore.