Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Guest post: Mark Teixeira 2009 AL MVP

We here at Alright Hamilton! like to be open-minded. In that spirit, we welcome Yankee fan and avid internet commenter, BronxBoi2, to break down the 2009 AL MVP race.

Hands down Mark Teixeira is your MVP this year without a question. It's undisputable. Sure Joe Mauer is having a good year. He leads the league in batting average. But you idiots have to open your eyes and see that batting average isn't the ONLY STATISTIC!! THERE ARE TWO MORE!!! Did you really think that people wouldn't notice that Mauer is leading the league in only ONE of the THREE STATS?!?!

Tex is pwning Mauer in the other two: RBI and HRs. So, let me check the math...Tex: 2 Mauer: 1. Um, last time I checked TWO IS BIGGER THAN ONE!!!. It's TWICE as many.!!! Tex's stats have been throwing Mauer under the bus all year. Mauer wouldn't be the MVP if it hit him in the face. This MVP race is apples and oranges.

And there are people in baseball society today that say that Mauer is better at slugging than Tex and that is just ignoramous. How can this be possible when Tex has slugged more HR AND RBI?!?! That point is muted.

And who cares if Mauer is a catcher. People say, "That's really good for a catcher." People also say that Candace Parker is good at basketball for a girl but nobody is saying she should be the NBA MVP! It's not Tex's fault that catcher aren't very good at offense. If Mauer wanted to be better at offense he should have played a better position.

Moreover, people that say that Tex's defense is not world class are impunible. Maybe these guys that make up these defensive stats in their mother's basement should actually look up from their calculators and LITERALLY WATCH HIM PLAY!!! I've seen with my own two eyes an insurmountable number of great defensive plays. If he doesn't win a gold glove it will be abominal.

They main reason Tex should win is because the Yankees are way better than the Twins. Seriously, where would the Yankee line-up be without Tex? It would be Johny Damon, Derek Jeter, Robinson Cano, Nick Swisher, Hideki Matsui, Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Posada, and that's it. They Yankees would be NOWHERE WITHOUT TEX! And the Twins aren't even in the playoffs, so without a doubt end of conversation hands down.


Dan said...

Haha! That was excellent! Made my day :-)

carl said...

I like it better when Alright-Hamilton! is close-minded. BronxBoi2, although Mark Teixeira may very well deserve the MVP (not saying he does, but he might), you're post reeks, at best, of typical New York stupidity and, at worst, of your mother's basement.

And the reason nobody is saying Candice Parker should win the NBA MVP is, because CANDICE PARKER DOES NOT PLAY IN THE NBA. Just like nobody is saying Mark Teixeira should win the NBA MVP (though, after reading your post, I wouldn't put it past you...)

Dan said...

I did a little research into the HR and RBI argument. As we know, Mauer missed the first month of the season. I did a little quick math to determined how many HR and RBI Joe has per plate appearance and then predicted how many he would have on the season if he had the same number of PAs as Tex (641 vs 518)

Mauer's HR w/641 PA: 33
Mauer's RBI w/641 PA: 103

Indeed, Tex still has more, but they are much closer. Does any other Twins fan here think that Mauer's case for MVP would be a little stronger if he had those extra 123 plate appearances?

Anonymous said...

BronxBoi2 is very convincing, especially when he strategically uses the capslock button and cleverly invents new words like "abominal" or phrases like "that point is muted." ESPN could use a perceptive and thoughtful analyst like him. Kudos to AH! for being fair and balanced.

Also, Soup>The Onion.


soup said...

Not thick enough for some. I'll oblige

Anonymous said...

"you're post reeks, at best, of typical New York stupidity and, at worst, of your mother's basement."

Um, you can't smell a post IT'S DIGITAL!!! You really think the internet has a smell?!?! Where can I smoke some of what you're having?!?! lol :P


and MARK TEIXEIRA DOES NOT PLAY CATCHER!!!!!!!!! That's persistently my point!!!!!!


carl said...

soup = 1
me = 0

soup said...

No worries. There are so many idiots that can use the internet these days...it's hard to tell.

carl said...

Apparently me included this morning...

Daymonster said...

I'm pretty sure I've seen BronxBoi on the ESPN comment sections.

What you can say, he knows his stuff.

Anonymous said...

haha, well done.

haasertime said...


Hopefully bronxboi will write another post explaining why Jeter should win over Mauer because, "he's had a better career."

Jeremy said...

What makes AH! open-minded? If BronzBoiz is an actual person, he/she is a ranting loon and a barely-functioning illiterate. Real or invented, if AH!'s motive was sneaky/mean (i.e., paint Yankees/Tex fans as idiots) or legit/pure-as-driven-snow, the result is the same: this is the worst piece of "sports writing" I've ever read and I'll never bother with AH! again.

haasertime said...

You don't get it. You're an idiot.

soup said...


We/AH! apologize (i.g., say sorry/ask for forgiveness/grace) for offending/making you feel bad.

Please come back. We need you, Jeremy.

Anonymous said...

You are a complete fuckwit...that is coming from Down Under in South Australia. You failed to make a single valid point. In fact, I am pretty sure my IQ dropped after having read your bull shit.