Thursday, January 22, 2009

Alright Hamilton Guide to TwinsFest

TwinsFest is here, signaling the beginning of the 2009 baseball season. Everyone who is anyone will be at the dome this weekend, besides Dennys Reyes. All the new players that we signed will be there too. Like RA Dickey and uh........

Anyway, here are the fairly obvious things to do at Twinsfest, that almost every Twins fan knows to do anyway.

Free posters - swing by the Education Minnesota booth out by the tunnel in right field.

Discounted memorabilia and swag from the Twins Pro Shop

Make sure to bring your camera - you can get pictures with Twins greats. Usually fast moving lines.

The huge model of Target Field will be there, along with actual seats that they'll be using. I enjoy screwing with people's minds, spreading false rumors while looking through this area. "I heard they're going to have a waterfall pouring down from that parking ramp, which forms a creek that moves beneath centerfield, then piped up to the canopy where it sprays mist on hot summer days." or, "They're trying to increase taxes to build a roof, but Pawlenty won't raise taxes because he wants to be President, so it's a secret tax, and it won't be built until he's President, so they're calling it the Secret Roof President Pawlenty Tax Plan."

Clubhouse Tours - this is actually pretty neat. You can check out the dugout, locker room, and both press boxes. But it's usually a super long line.

Kent Hrbek. If he's at his Kent Hrbek Outdoors both, you can buy a hat or shirt from him for $2o bucks and he'll autograph it. Nice guy, that Kent Hrbek.

For all you American Idol fans out there, why not try out your vocal skills in front of people you don't know. Auditions are being held to sing the national anthem before a Twins game. Come join me and some other AH contributors as faux-judges/peanut gallery. We'll be in the stands just beyond the tryout booth. Brex will be wearing the Paula Abdual wig.


soup said...

Some year we should do a Twinsfest picture scavenger hunt. It's okay for a grown man to propose doing a picture scavenger hunt, right?

We could do stuff like:

-Kent Hrbek frowning: 300 points
-MLB Hall of Famer: 50 points
-Rondell White jersey: 200 points
-Twins Jersey tucked into sweatpants: 200 points
-Someone wearing a combination of Twins and Packers clothing: 200 points
-Adrian Peterson Jersey: 100 points
-Joe Mauer giving a fist bump or throwing up a gang sign: 100 points
-Lady wearing a Twins hat and breast feeding: 5000 points

bizmarkie507 said...

the screams of, the screams of, the screams of passion

Daymonster said...

Don't forget about the fact that you can get St. Olaf Alum and future twins star Andrew Schmiesing's autograph

brex said...

shh.. not so loud, baby

Daymonster said...

whats with the family reference am i missing something?