Monday, July 14, 2008

Morneau won, you idiots.

By Michael Haas

Justin Morneau won the home run derby last night, hitting 5 homers to Josh Hamiltons 3 in the finals. Initially, I did not want Morneau to participate in the derby. Remember last year? Here's what Alright Hamilton said of Justins less than stellar 07 second half production:

The 2007 All-Star game Home Run Derby

Like Tom Brunansky before him, Justin Morneau's swing got all screwed up by the Home Run Derby.

Before the Derby: 24 homers, 73 rbi
Since the Derby (as of publication) 5 homers, 25 rbi
We'll see what happens to Morneau's swing as the season goes a long, but for now, I'm obviously happy he won. I think MLB is regretting inviting him - he has the fewest homers of the 8 participants and accepted the late invitation because guys like A-rod are too cool to have fun. Well look at him now. As soon as Justin Morneau won, ESPN interviewed Josh Hamilton, told his life story and made excuses for him. It was sickening. They couldn't even remember who won the thing. In fact, the guy who presented Morneau with the trophy called him 'Jason'

Here's how most sports writers wrote their story on the derby:

Hamilton Dazzles at Derby

New York - Josh Hamilton put on a show at Historic Yankee Stadium on Monday night, belting a record 28 homers in the first round. Hamilton, a first time all-star, crushed ball after ball into the short right porch at Historic Yankee Stadium. Hamilton is awesome, blah blah blah, past drug addictions, blah blah blah, historic yankee stadium, blah blah, youth coach pitching, blah blah, hey wait, who won?

It was Morneau, you idiots.

But anyway..

Are you watching the All-Star game tonight? Do you hate the Yankees? If you answered Yes to both these questions, get prepared to throw up tonight. It is going to be an over-the-top smooch fest for that old crumbly stadium in the bronx. Oh, but it's the house that ruth built, a baseball cathedral, home to some of sports most famous events. Wrong. It's a rat infested stinkhole.

Hey look, I like baseball history just as much as the next guy. I hate when they tear down historic buildings for no reason. I even like Mickey Mantle, Joe D, Lou and the Babe. But the stadium that was built in the 20's was destroyed in the 70's. In the 1976 remodel, they changed everything - the fences were moved, home plate was moved, the classy signature facade was ripped out.

So when they show you pitctures of Joe Louis, Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle and Knute Rockne, don't be fooled. It is not the same stadium.


soup said...

Yeah, we're all happy for Josh Hamilton. You don't do crack anymore. We're all proud.

You know what's even more impressive than that? Never being addicted to drugs.

Cool flame tattoo on your forearm.

brex said...

I found myself yelling at the TV last night by myself.

Jason Morneau should issue a formal apology to ESPN for winning and MLB should change the rules to cumulative scoring. Heck, do the same for the world series.

bizmarkie507 said...

Yeah what a joke. I'm pulling harder than ever for the twins to win the world series this year. Everyone at ESPN with the exception of possibly Peter Gammons would be infuriated.

Good point about how badly the commentators are going to gush over the yankee players throughout the game. I might just have to put it on mute until Twins players make their appearances.

Holmer said...

Yes, and yes.

I hope Rivera blows a save, and Joe has to come in and save his ass.

Jim H. said...

Hey, it's great that Josh Hamilton has overcome obstacles (mostly of his own making) and that he can crush the ball. Some guy named Mike Schmidt did that, too. And didn't Mr. Favre overcome addiction to pain killers (and maybe some other stuff)? The press seems to think Hamilton has done something unprecedented.

It would be very sweet for the Twins to get to the postseason and show the Eastern Sophists Pinhead Network (not to mention FOX)that we can play some ball out here in the sticks, too.

Karleeee said...

I want Justin to go on espn and say this:

"I'm very sorry I was a strategic player. I did not show boat or what you guys say 'put on a show' all you need to add-on is the boat part. Maybe if Joe Vavra threw me better pitches I could of show boated myself. But Joe Vavra isn't a 126 year old guy with a very strong thick awkward southern accent who been throwing batting practice for 110 years.... O DOYLE RULES!"


Anonymous said...

Honestly--this is probably one of my favorite posts from you guys. EVER. I read this all the time and haven't ever felt the need to comment, but I completely agree. I was so annoyed with Erin Andrews last night interviewing the crackhead over the guy who won. Morneau was such a class act last night.

On another note, you might find this as funny as I did. In Sundays game some d-bag named Clete Thomas hit his first MLB homerun. Congrats to him. The funny part was when Bert called him Clit Thomas. Dick kept going and Bert starting laughing and corrected himself. So typical.

TwinsWin83 said...

Thanks Mike for writing down and putting into an article all of my exact thoughts on last nights derby and tonight all-star game in NY.

Last nights derby exemplified the decade=long shaft the Twins have gotten from national press despite their constant success. And to be honest I dont even have a problem with that because it will be that much more of a burn when the Twins finally pull it all off one of these years.

Is there anything worse in life then having to listen to the 20 different commentators ESPN had for the Home Run Derby?

soup said...

From RONALD BLUM, AP Baseball Writer

"Young lofted a fly to right and Cory Hart’s throw home took two bounces and was slightly to the first-base side of the plate. Catcher Brian McCann gloved the ball and tried a sweep tag, but YOUNG sneaked his right foot in, barely ahead of the tag. Plate umpire Derryl Cousins made the safe call, and the AL players left in the dugout rushed out to celebrate." (capitalization mine)

Again they got Morneau's name wrong!

Anonymous said...

oh geez poor justin gets his name wrong, and the twins get screwed, because erin andrews talked to a guy with a good story rather than the guy who won, but didnt hit that many homeruns. so he was an addict i dont htink that matter as much as the 28 homeruns he hit in the first round, 20 more than justin.
Arent most addictions of our own making? or does somone force us into addiction?
I thought that the homerun derby was awsome, watched every single pitch and bomb, and there were some BOMBS, some guy that has been through more than anyone that reads this can even fathom, comes up and hits a ton of homeruns, and in the end the guy everyone wanted to win won, justin.
where's the problem here? they had to interview both of them, and you dont interview the winner before they get there trophy and then the loser, they interviewed hamilton cause he lost, and justin was off getting talked too about getting his trophy, so erin andrews couldnt talk to him, did any of you even watch the interview's after it with josh hamilton and justin morneau? justin morneau needs to take a class on interviews, the entire time he looked like an idiot.
i thought everything was awsome except for the morneau interview at the end, he looked like a fool, but i'm glad he won. and josh hamilton was awsome aswell.
oh and karleee, your right it was strategy by morneau to hit just enough homeruns, he did it on purpose, oh and you must have forgot that it was a contest and your supposed to hit as many as possible, and your saying he didnt showboat like thats a good thing, what did josh hamilton do to showboat? he just hit homeruns, thats what he was supposed to be doing, it was a contest. if you dont know anything about what was going on then dont comment.

haasertime said...

holy shit. That's unreadable. Learn proper use of punctuation, spelling and grammar. Then learn to properly construct an argument.

Then maybe I'll listen to you.

Karleeee said...

Whoa I won't even take my time to read that nonsense.

Go smoke crack with Josh Hamilton.
If you don't know my sarcasm, don't even comment.

Daymonster said...


you are all over the place on that comment there. 90% of what you said either contradicted itself or didn't really make any sense to begin with.

You jump back and forth between tenses and statements, it's difficult to grasp your point. Were you admiring Hamilton's battle over addiction or condemning it? Or both?

Your attempts at sarcasm are wasted when it's so poorly written. What part of Morneau's interview made him look stupid? When he said that Hamilton was the real winner and that he go lucky?

My guess is that he realized everyone in the stadium and behind the camera was mad that he lost, and he did his best to appease them.

As for the comment about Karlee, she was obviously being sarcastic. (as can be seen by the addition of a popular movie quote and the emoticon heart at the end)

Again at the end it's difficult to understand you. You said that it was a contest, a contest with rules, and Justin obviously played the rules better than Josh. An impressive performance by Hamilton? Yes. But does the winner deserve to be treated like a second class contestant? Our view is, no, no he does not.

Anonymous said...

hey buddy i beat cancer, ha, take that, and i second what mike said, but from what i got from what was said, i agree with it, i liked what i was seeing on tv, i also didnt see anything wrong with what was going on afterwards, besides the jason morneau thing.

Anonymous said...

Maybe this will be easier for you idiots to read, QUIT FUCKING WHINNING!

Anonymous said...

haha who is this clown, dude, relax, its just a blog.
haha unreal.

haasertime said...

yea, chill pills all around.

To paraphrase Denny Green: What's great about America is that everyone has an opinion, but the other great thing is: you don't have to listen to them.

TwinsWin83 said...

I think that might be the first Denny Green name drop in AH! history.

Knights of said...

anonymous, just out of curiosity what's your favorite team?