Sunday, February 1, 2009

Top Ten Billy Smith Excuses

Top Ten Excuses for Off-season Inactivity

10. Too busy watching hilarious youtube clips of The Price is Right.

9. Scott Boras

8. Instead of going to the Winter Meetings in Las Vegas, he went to Branson.

7. He thinks Terry Ryan is still the GM

6. Scientologist conspiracy to use the Twins for marketing Dianetics. Smith will be killed if he signs anyone other than Tom Cruise.

5. He was about to trade for Mark DeRosa, but felt reluctant to give up any mid-level prospects who may have a chance to become September call-ups someday.

4. In a three month drug haze from hanging out with Michael Phelps.

3. Can't find his glasses

2. Doesn't want to screw everything up like he did last winter

1. Just like his wife always says: He's afraid of commitment and never initiates anything.


bizmarkie507 said...

That whole backing out on Gagne thing is inexcusable. they tried to low ball him (like they did with Torii Hunter) thinking that he would refuse so they could be like, "hey we tried" but that backfired, then they back out. And I don't really care about acquiring Gagne because he's over the hill, but its such a bitch move.

But I still wonder how many of these moves, or lack there of, are in Bill Smiths' hands. I'm sure the family paying his salary have a lot to do with them.

If this payroll does not increase by 20 million by spring training 2011, then I am boycotting this franchise until the Pohlad's sell it.

tfrezac2002 said...

I'm glad they didn't get Gagne. He has been downright terrible for 2 years. I read some interesting news about my favorite Twin from recent memory. The Pirates closed the door on Dougie Baseball when they signed Erik Hinske. Would the Twins have interest in signing him? He has said he would like to come back here. He can play all 4 corner positions. And, call me a homer, but I would be happy with this dreadful off-season if Doug was back chewing gum in Minneapolis.

haasertime said...

where did you hear this story, bizmarkie? I knew they broke off discussions, but I didn't know it went down like that.

Gagne has been absolutly terrible the last 1.5 years. He was OK the second half of last season.

Dougie will land on his feat. He's probably not happy right now, though.

bizmarkie507 said...

twins offered him a 3 mil contract, he tells them he'll accept it, then they back off and tell him they are headed in a new direction. why offer him a contract when you dont want to sign him in the first place? same thing they did with Hunter, except Gagne is in 0 demand so he is taking whatever he can get, and the plan backfired.

I would give anything for doug to wear a twins uniform again.

Daymonster said...

Should we start another fund like we did with santana?

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