Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Get to know 'em: 2009 acrostic poems for starting rotation

Big. spot. Scott.
Absolute competitor. He is the definition of average when it come to "stuff." but he takes care of bizzzzzz.
Knotts berry farm in California is his favorite amusement park. He went on Montezuma's
revenge 21 times in a row.
ERA. He was eighth in the league in ERA (3.45) last year.
Reads the obituary section so he can have something to talk about with his grandma.

Left handed. Also he throws left handed and bats left handed mostly due to him being left handed.
Invented the "toilet tank hinge" in 2001. It's a hinge that allows the lid for the toilet tank to open and close.
Rested on the seventh day...after creating baseball in six days.
Intriguing. The question mark that is Liriano in intriguing.
Autistic. Liriano is not autistic.
Ninety one mile per hour sliders: RIP. God, it was fun while it lasted. Don't worry. Slider is still nasty (but human).
Often prefers sleeveless uniforms, much to my behest.

Likes, but doesn't L-U-V, Greys
Often googles "Stephan Eurkel pick up lines"
Was the first person in St. Clair, PA to discover "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, start. Yet, he still hasn't beaten Contra.
ERA. Slowey hates giving up runs. He battles. He will break a back door, two seam fastball off in ya ass.
You want some Sowey? Well, you're a bag full of idiots. If you want some Slowey, you gots ta pay. 59 don't give no free passes. Swing the bat and pray.

Brings the ruckus by da buckets
L-O-V-E-S when you come to the pate, try not to hit into a double plan, and then hit into a double play.
Admitted to crying durring "John Q"
Can understand the value added tax, but is unsure it's a good idea.
Knows a lot about pitching to contact, as long as that contact is not good contact. In conclusion, he prefers to pitch to bad contact.
Brings da sinker...wait four seem fast ball...nope, yep. Twas the sinker all along.
Uber is German for super. Ich bein Uber happy mit du einer gut baseball pitchenvier.
Really loves to kill worms.

Perk: It's the one sylable version of "Perkins"
Everyone likes pitching to disabled children, as I'm wont to do from time to time. Much lower expectations...because they're disabled...
Reading Rainbow always confused Perkins. He understood that there are books he should read, but why "reading rainbow?" Oh, it has "rainbow" in the title? The colors of the rainbow seem insignificant in regard to material he should read. As an added bonus,Pizza Hut gives you a personal pan pizza if you read books.
Knows what Rick Anderson told him.
Influenced art


soup said...

Okay. You next. Rp and other possitions. and...go..

Daymonster said...

M-Mark Prior who?
A-Avoided arbitration last year, makes 8.25 million dollars a year/
U-Umbrella, ella, ella. Never hit Rhianna. Good for him.
E-Eats his vegetables.
R-Regrets not playing QB for Florida State. He thinks Florida chicks are hotter.

soup said...

I can actually read my blood alcohol level rise with this post. Purhaps a sober-edit is in order.

Well done, Day.

bizmarkie507 said...

just thinking about the words "reading rainbow" releases endorphins in my brain. Donnie Darko said cellar door sounds the best, but i disagree.

jammyman said...

N-Not gonna eat your beefy nachos like Boof, because he is a vegan...and Boof is fat.
E-Elephantitis is a disorder that I am not sure he has...never seen his dong.
S-Savemaster. Led all minor league Twins in saves in 2005. You thought it was going to be "submarine" or "sidearm" didn't you?
H-Hideki Okajima stole his spot in 2007 All star game...despite my borderline obsessive efforts to "pitch in for pat"
E-Ergonomic in the sense that his arm was designed to do nasty things with a baseball, making his job easier
K-Kehsen is his last name backwards...silent "h"