Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Fear thy Ramos

Be afraid of Wilson Ramos. He's gunna git ya. Lock your doors, AL pitchers. Actually, just to be safe, I'd sleep at a friend's house tonight. Because Wilson Ramos would just bash a baseball bat through your locked door.

Look at that man. You think he cares about being good at baseball? No. The only reason why he plays the game is to legally hit something as hard as he can with a baseball bat.

There have been no shaving-cream-filled-towels to the face of Ramos during his triumphant post-game interviews. He was wisely left alone. When he got his first Major League hit, there was no jocular conversation with first base coach, Jerry White. And when Ramos received the ball from that first hit, did he keep it? No. He sent it to his mother because he has no emotional attachment to anything. Not even the baseball of his first Major League hit. It was just another thing he got to hit really hard with a baseball bat.

Ramos was originally cast as "The Nothing" in the movie, The Never Ending Story. He was subsequently fired for taking his role too literally and destroyed the entire movie set with a baseball bat.

The good news for the Twins is that he has seven hits in his first nine at-bats. This might be a record. The even better news, however, is that all those hits have been baseballs...not skulls.


Brady James said...

More impressively, he has yet to strikeout.

haasertime said...

bashing things with baseball bats is the only thing that makes him happy. That's what's so twisted about all this. Marney Gellner was clearly terrified during that interview last night.

bizmarkie507 said...

we need to move mauer to LF, DH Morneau, Thome at first, put young at right - so we have better range and just as good of an arm, Cuddyer at 3rd - he's gotta be good now that he already tried playing there before, oh man we would be so awesome then. Stupid Gardenhire would never pull this off though.

bizmarkie507 said...

haas i need that seal of approval jpg