Thursday, June 25, 2009

Headlines

I was going to write some Twins news stories, but I just wrote the headlines for news stories instead. It's a lot easier. Feel free to add on your own headlines.

Blackburn loses it in the 8th, eats Blizzard

Kubel shuns spotlight, request national media respect his privacy.

Harris calls Gardenhire's Tweets 'banal', gets benched

Austin girl optimistic about Mauer's Facebook friend acceptance.

Punto relieved burglars left slip-n-slide, no leads on cars or furniture

Gomez claims he knew all along that "Chase for 400" was not the sequel to "300," Redmond disputes.

Gomez and Tolbert chess matched delayed indefinitely for trampoline jumping

Gardenhire to be keynote speaker at the 2009 SABR convention

Casilla's instructional camp produces back-to-back-to-back NAIA champions


A couple of other actual headlines from this week

Monkey urinates on Zambian president

Money quote: "You have urinated on my jacket," a startled Banda told the monkey, one of many that makes their home in the trees outside his offices.

Oh, Zambia

Oklahoma City woman trades sex for case of chips

We've all been there. Don't judge.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Haha, nice.

bizmarkie507 said...

Matt Tolbert is now hitting .160. do we really have NOTHING to replace him with?
I mean, I know Gardy loves his pesky go-getting attitude, but hitting .160 and being in the every day lineup is just inexcusable. I just can't believe we have no better option than Tolbert at second right now. yikes.

haasertime said...

we have a better option at second base: nick punto. Tolbert hadn't been starting lately at second until punto got all banged up.

very nice post soup. let's try top turn each one of those headlines into a goofy article

bizmarkie507 said...

I wish casilla wasn't such a dumbass

soup said...

Biz, has the Twolves boycot ended?

bizmarkie507 said...

oh it ended the minute McHale was demoted from President to just head coach.

R-U-B-I-O!

I'll write about my thoughts of the draft. It seems like people have started to somewhat care about the TWolves again.