By Tom Daymont
Now I would be the first to admit that a list of the greatest sports movies is about as unoriginal as a post about why some bars suck.
But I think there is too much pressure on these people to be “cool”. These writes for ESPN’s Page Two or Sports Illustrated, have to worry about whether they seem like they a. know anything about sports and b. know anything about movies. Thus they thoughtfully choose movies as to not offend or alienate any of their thousands of readers. Luckily for you (one of the half-dozen loyal readers of AH!), I do not have to cater to these people. I can give you a list of 10 best Sports Movies you won’t find on any other list. Does that make them bad movies? Maybe. But don’t they have just as much of a right to be placed on a list as those other, more famous sports movies? No. Well, either way, I am making a list, but I’m only checking it once.
10. Men With Brooms 
Although many of you have probably never seen this movie, it’s really not that bad. Paul Gross stars as the leader of a recently reunited curling team from a small Canadian town. Like all good sports movies, their coach dies, and they must win in his honor.
Greatest Moment: One of the characters describes curling in a dramatic monologue as “dangerous shit.”
What’s Bad about it:
It was made in Canada.
9. Cool Runnings
The (loosely based on a) true story of a few Olympic hopeful sprinters that form Jamaica’s first bobsled team. Hilarity ensues as this group of misfits untie the small Caribbean country.
Greatest Moment: The idea that John Candy (Irving Blitzer) was a former Olympic Bobsledder.
What’s Bad about it: It’s another Disney feel good, we-didn’t-win-but-we-learned-a-lesson-anyway movie.
It was made in Canada.
9. Cool Runnings
The (loosely based on a) true story of a few Olympic hopeful sprinters that form Jamaica’s first bobsled team. Hilarity ensues as this group of misfits untie the small Caribbean country.
Greatest Moment: The idea that John Candy (Irving Blitzer) was a former Olympic Bobsledder.
What’s Bad about it: It’s another Disney feel good, we-didn’t-win-but-we-learned-a-lesson-anyway movie.
8. The Replacements
When the Washington Sentinels, goes on strike, the team's owner, calls former NFL coach Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) out of retirement to coach a rag-tag team of replacement players to finish the season's last four games. McGinty turns to former Ohio State player Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves) to be the team's captain for the duration of the season and Falco is forced to shape up the group of misfit players.
Greatest Moment: Orlando Jones playing a cocky wide receiver with no hands.
Greatest Moment: Orlando Jones playing a cocky wide receiver with no hands.
What’s Bad about it: Roy from “The Office” playing a def tight end.
7. Rookie of the Year
Henry Rowengartner, a 12-year-old Little Leaguer, has dreams of playing in the major leagues. One fateful day he slips on a ball and breaks his arm. His doctor explains that the tendons in his arm have healed "a little tight." Amazingly, he can throw in the hundreds, the Cubs in desperate need for some help, sign the young Rowengartner. This 1993 movie shows, that while the kid can learn from the pros, the pros can learn something too.
Greatest Moment: The cameo by Barry Bonds.
What’s Bad about it: The term “funky buttlovin”
6. King Pin
Star bowler, Roy Munson, whose career was prematurely "cut off" hopes to ride a new prodigy to success and riches. Randy Quaid plays Ishmael, a young Amish man who is a natural born bowler.
Greatest Moment: When Bill Murray is introduced as “Big Ern” the flamboyant balding celebrity bowler.
What’s Bad about it: When Randy Quaid is nipping out as he retrieves some beers from the large refrigerator.
5. The Sandlot
Scotty Smalls moves to a new neighborhood with his mom and step-dad, and wants to learn to play baseball. The neighborhood baseball guru Benny “The Jet” Rodriquez takes Smalls under his wing, and soon he's part of the local baseball buddies. Lifeguards, S’mores, and “The Beast” gives these kids the best summer of their lives.
Greatest Moment: When Michael "Squints" Palledorous scores with the hottie lifeguard.
What’s Bad about it: The tagline from the movie poster “They're more than a team. They're the best buddies in the entire history of the world.”
4. Vision Quest
This coming of age movie in which high school wrestler Louden Swain (Matthew Modine) decides he wants to be something more than an average high school athlete and sets his sights on a prize that many don't think he can win – an All-Star named Shute.
Greatest Moment: When Louden, a room service delivery boy, gets sexually molested by a dude doing yoga at the hotel he works at.
What’s Bad about it: This movie helped slingshot Madonna’s career.
3. Mighty Ducks
After being charged with drunk driving, hot shot lawyer, Gordon Bombay is sentenced to community service, coaching hockey. There, he meets the District 5 peewee hockey team, a team of perennial losers who finish at the bottom of the league standings year after year. Can he turn this team of misfits in to a winning squad who learns life lessons at the same time? You betcha!
Greatest Moment: Ummm… everything, it was made in Minnesota.
What’s Bad about it: From a hockey stand point, the flying V would be illegal and/or incredibly easy to stop.
6. King Pin
Star bowler, Roy Munson, whose career was prematurely "cut off" hopes to ride a new prodigy to success and riches. Randy Quaid plays Ishmael, a young Amish man who is a natural born bowler.
Greatest Moment: When Bill Murray is introduced as “Big Ern” the flamboyant balding celebrity bowler.
What’s Bad about it: When Randy Quaid is nipping out as he retrieves some beers from the large refrigerator.
5. The Sandlot
Scotty Smalls moves to a new neighborhood with his mom and step-dad, and wants to learn to play baseball. The neighborhood baseball guru Benny “The Jet” Rodriquez takes Smalls under his wing, and soon he's part of the local baseball buddies. Lifeguards, S’mores, and “The Beast” gives these kids the best summer of their lives.
Greatest Moment: When Michael "Squints" Palledorous scores with the hottie lifeguard.
What’s Bad about it: The tagline from the movie poster “They're more than a team. They're the best buddies in the entire history of the world.”
4. Vision Quest
This coming of age movie in which high school wrestler Louden Swain (Matthew Modine) decides he wants to be something more than an average high school athlete and sets his sights on a prize that many don't think he can win – an All-Star named Shute.
Greatest Moment: When Louden, a room service delivery boy, gets sexually molested by a dude doing yoga at the hotel he works at.
What’s Bad about it: This movie helped slingshot Madonna’s career.
3. Mighty Ducks
After being charged with drunk driving, hot shot lawyer, Gordon Bombay is sentenced to community service, coaching hockey. There, he meets the District 5 peewee hockey team, a team of perennial losers who finish at the bottom of the league standings year after year. Can he turn this team of misfits in to a winning squad who learns life lessons at the same time? You betcha!
Greatest Moment: Ummm… everything, it was made in Minnesota.
What’s Bad about it: From a hockey stand point, the flying V would be illegal and/or incredibly easy to stop.
2. Little Big League
Thomas Heywood, owner of the Minnesota Twins dies suddenly, leaving the baseball club in the hands of his 12 year-old grandson. Billy Heywood, a preteen son to a single mom, quickly fires the manager and decides to run the team himself. “It's the American League! They have the DH! How hard can it be?"
Greatest Moment: Every minute. It’s the Twins.
What’s bad about it: Griffey Jr. robs the would-be winning homer and forget the Cubs Goat curse, after the movie came out the Twins have yet to win the pennant.
1. Major League
The new owner of the Cleveland Indians puts together a purposely horrible team so they'll lose and she can move the team. But when the plot is uncovered, they start winning just to spite her. This film was nominated in 1990 for the Best Foreign Language Film at the Japanese Academy Awards.
Greatest Moment: Harry Doyle (Milwaukee’s Bob Uecker) and his incredible play-by-play behavior.
What’s Bad about it: This movie had the opposite effect as Little Big League had on the Twins and the movie actually helped the Indians dominate the Twins and the rest of the AL Central during the late 90’s.
Honorable Mention: Little Giants
Danny O'Shea (Rick Moranis) has always lived in the shadow of his older brother, Kevin, the famous College and then pro football star. Danny's daughter, Becky, is cut from Kevin's team because she's a girl (despite her being the best player). She convinces her dad to coach a pee-wee team comprised of misfits, named "The Little Giants” in this David versus Goliath epic.
Greatest Moment: When the Giants use the clever “Annexation of Puerto Rico” play to fool thestupid Cowboys and win Pee-Wee Football Glory.
What’s Bad about it: The uncomfortable kissing scene between Becky and Junior reminds me too much of my youth.
Greatest Moment: When the Giants use the clever “Annexation of Puerto Rico” play to fool thestupid Cowboys and win Pee-Wee Football Glory.
What’s Bad about it: The uncomfortable kissing scene between Becky and Junior reminds me too much of my youth.
Junior Floyd: You wanna learn how to kiss?
Becky O'Shea: No. Why? Do you?
That's my list. I am sure many of you have your own top ten, but remember this was a list of movies that are rarely on a list of best sports movies. I know how good Caddyshack and Bull Durham are so please don't yell at me too much.
9 comments:
Nice list Tom. I will agree with your #1 choice, however, King Pin could use a bump up while Vision Quest could use a bump down.
What about Adam Sandler movies like Happy Gilmore and The Water Boy?
Bres(x?)
Clearly you have never seen the movie Vision Quest.
Yes, Happy Gilmore is a solid movie and probably deserves a spot instead of Men with Brooms (I felt I needed to include Curling). But Waterboy? That movie was about as bad as The Longest Yard, not the old one, that movie was sweet, but the new shitty one. Adam Sandler cannot make a football movie.
Thanks for the comment. I was starting to think that this was the worst post ever.
I would have to put The Sandlot up a bit higher. I might even have to say its in my all time top 10. I agree with the rest of them, they are all under rated except for Men with Brooms. I've never seen it, but I will now.
Replacements Best part: When the whole team makes up a perfectly choreographed dance to "I will Survive" in jail, without any music to lead their dance.
Sandlot: When Squints Palledorous tells the story of the beast.
Vision Quest: When Lowden beats Bresnahan's ass.
Little Big League: Putting yourself in Billy Heywood's shoes when you were 12 years old.
Beautiful post... Sandlot should be a little higher on the list.
The best part of rookie of the year is definitely D'aniel Stern as Phil Brickman. The Roosenbarger" ... "rosenbloomer" ..."resienhimer" get's me every time. It should also be noted that Stern directed the effin movie! He also directed The Wonder Years TV show. Crazy huh?
Why is rookie of the year often abrieviated ROY? Why does the O and not the T get a letter in the abrieviation? "Of" never gets a letter in any other avrieviation. is the FBI abrieviated FBOI? It should be RY or ROTY.
The Water Boy is funny. The Longest Yard doesnt even deserve getting mentioned. How can you bad mouth a movie that brought the name Captain Insaino into our lives?
This is a damn fine list, don't get me wrong. But where is BASEketball? That one is definately in my top 3.
Worst 3 sports movies ever made:
3. The Best of Times - Did the producers actually cast Robin Williams to be a Wide Reciver in a movie? Yes, yes they did.
2. Like Mike - I walked into Buckshots house half way through this movie. I had never seen it before, yet after watching it for 3 minutes I said, "Let me guess, Lil' Bow Wow found some magical shoes that make him awesome at basketball. And he's going to make it to the championship game and at the very end, there will be a foul and his shoes will fall apart, so he will have to shoot free throws without the shoes. And he's going to perservere and win the game on his own." Buckshot goes, yeah have you seen this before?
1. The Big Green (ughghghhg)
I'm sure theres 500 other worthless shit movies to mention (any of the Air Buds, Lucas, Over the Top, and I'm sure there's an Ernest sports related movie) but I could sit here all night.
p.s. thank you for not including hoosiers in your top 10. I'm in the minority, but I do not like that movie.
#10? OK, the reviews did split down the middle. Nice enough to see MWB included.
good list tom
my favorite part of R.O.T.Y. is when Hank (i call him hank, we gotta good vibe) catches that home run and then in weigley field tradition, throws it back on the field. but he throws it all the way to home the catcher on a line just as the guys getting to home plate. they batter and catcher look at each other, and then the batter slides and the ump goes SAFE!
hahahahahaha
I once saw a list of the worst moves in twins history. their involvement in little big league was mentioned. ha.
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