Building Your Winning Strategy

By Michael Haas

This world is a fast, cut-throat minefield of scum bags and their tricks. It's sink or swim out there, and if you don't have a game plan going in, you'll waste your time, money and health. But with a few tips and a go-get-em attitude, you could really get ahead in this world. The world of McDonalds Monopoly.

History of the Game

First, it's important to know the history of the industry. I'm guessing it started in about 1996. Yeah, we'll go with that. Originally, one would receive two game pieces with each purchase, but that soon changed so that only certain items carried game pieces.

In 2001, the firm that was contracted by McDonalds to run the promotion was accused of fraud. It was discovered that some of the top brass in the firm had given the most important and rare game pieces to friends, and then split the profits. McDonalds received considerable negative publicity for the embarrassing situation, and halted the game until 2003.

How to play

The goal in the game of monopoly is to (surprise surprise) collect a monopoly. Monopolies consist of 2 or 3 properties. Do I really need to go through them all? Okay, fine.

Purple: Baltic and Mediteranean Avenues - $50
Railroads: B&O, Short Line, Pennsylvania and Reading - $100
Light Blue: Oriental, Vermont and Connecticut Avenues - $500
Fuschia: Virginia and States Avenues and St. Chucks Place - $1,000
Orange: New York, Tennessee Avenues and St. James Place - $5,000
Red: Illinois, Indiana and Kentucky Avenues - $10,000
Yellow: Marvins Garden, Ventor and Atlantic Avenues - $25,000
Green: Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Pacific Avenues - $50,000
Blue: Boardwalk and Park Place - $1,000,000

There are also instant win prizes and other coupons.

Now that you (sorta) know the history and the basics of the game, you need to know what to do to succeed.

Tips

The products that have Monopoly pieces are as follows:

(1) McMuffin breakfast sandwiches
(2) Medium or Large Drinks
(3) Hash Browns
(4) Big Mac sandwiches
(5) Large French Fries
(6) Premium Chicken sandwiches
(7) 3-piece and 5-piece Chicken Selects

Based on this list, you now know what to buy. If you normally get a McChicken sandwhich, you should get a Premium Chicken Sandwhich, if you normally get McChicken Nuggets, you should get Premium Chicken Strips, you cheap skate. Good thing they have a breakfast item on the list, or you'd be forced to have just a medium Coke for breakfast everyday.

Now here is the real inside information: presenting the Rare Pieces. If you get any of these pieces, you're basically guaranteed to win. So REMEMBER these - this message will self destruct eventually.

Mediterranean
Shortline Railroad
Vermont
Virginia
Tennessee
Kentucky
Ventnor
Pennsylvania
Boardwalk

But that's not the only way to win. A couple of years ago, McDonalds introduced a new and exciting way to play: online. When you get a game piece, you may notice a funny 10-digit code near the bottom. Enter this code at playatmcd.com, and you have the chance at even more prizes. With each code, you get to roll the virtual dice and move your virtual game piece around the virtual gameboard. When you login to the site, it will remember the properties acquired and your tokens position. You can win lame prizes such as cell phone games and stuff.

Other tips for winners:

- You'll be surprised to find out when, digging through the garbage, how many people forgot to peel their game pieces. If no one claims the pieces after you notify the patrons in the McDonalds, I'm sure it would be fine if you kept them for yourself. Nice!

- Send a self addressed stamped envelope to McDonalds, and they'll send you two pieces. But seriously, who would do that?

- On the commercials, some dudes rub the bald head of their boss guy for good luck. I'm not sure if this would work, but it would certainly be worth a shot.

- There's a code on your to-go bag as well, but you can only use bag codes one time.

- Do you tear the pieces off before or after you eat? That is the question. I recommend doing a trial. Tear before you eat and compare that with your next visit when you tear after you eat. Whichever method gets an instant win, you should go with.


The game ends on October 29th. It'll be a sad day, and you'll probably feel like shit for spending so much money at McDonalds, gaining so much weight and not winning anything at all. Luckily, November is Nutritional Wellness Month, so you could, uh, get back into shape?


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