rhombus room something

Twins vs. AL East...

Nick Blackburn...good

Nick Punto...bad

Joe Mauer...sucks

Jose Mijares...good

Matt Tolbert...gross

Delmon Young...best

Denard Span...good

Crede...good

Liriano...: (

Redmond...old

Ayala...

Slowey...good

Cuddyer...still sucks but is hitting not sucky right now but will hit sucky again in June and beyond.

Kubel...50 bombs

Nathan...good

Ron Coomer...yes

Carlos Gomez...AAA please

Mike Nakamura...I always imagined he had a really hot sister.

Baker...still looks like a 15 year old

Swarzak...cool looking mom. fun mom.

Mark Prior...only time I've ever been happy that Pohlad was cheap.

Morneau...good

Buscher/Crain/Dickey/Harris/Guerrier/Henn...boooo-ring

Facebook is dead to me

After getting 5 friend requests from family members in the past week I started wondering what the hell is going on? There was a day when you needed to have a college email to have a facebook account, and now you just need to be over the age of 30. This article really discouraged me, and what's worse is someday my parents will probably have an account, then they'll send me a friend request and look through hundreds of photos of me being drunk and acting inappropriately. facebook is officially dead to me. I'm just gonna stick with myspam where I can make it impossible for people to find me. Well except for TFRezac. He somehow always finds me.

Chrono Trigger really is the best game ever

If you even remotely enjoy playing old school RPG's you need to download a Super Nintendo Emulator and play Chrono Trigger.



This game takes place on a planet of which an advanced monster lives in the core, consuming the world's natural resources until one day it will destroy everything. You're main character is a boy named Crono who fights monsters and travels through time with heroes and friends, in attempt to unlock ancient misteries and save the planet.



The Graphics are classic, the action is enjoyable, the music is better than most video game music even for today, and there is an instance where you get rick rolled.



The storyline is actually enjoyable as well, unlike most other games of that time. There really isn't any lame mushiness.



If you are bored and have any free time, I suggest playing this game.

A solution to College Football without needing a playoff

The Florida Gators and Oklahoma Sooners will play for the National Championship tonight, and yet again, multiple teams are screaming injustice. The Argument is that there are too many qualified teams to fill two slots, so they want a playoff. Let's take a look at the teams that were left angry on the sidelines and think about what should they should have done/should do to better their situation.

Southern California Trojans: They are an annual powerhouse, and looked like a much better team than the Big Ten's finest (tries not to laugh) Penn State in the Rose Bowl. Like Oklahoma and Florida, they only have one loss, to go with a few high profile wins. The Trojans get snubbed because of their strength of schedule. The Pac-10 has been dubbed the Pac-1, because the level of teams significantly drop off compared to USC. A large disadvantage they have is that unlike the ACC, Big 12, and SEC, they do not have a Conference Championship game. A way to kill three birds with one stone is to invite Boise State to the conference. Boise State dominates their conference every year, usually goes undefeated, yet do not get taken seriously for a National Championship because of their weak conference. Adding Boise State to the Pac-10 would strengthen both USC and BSU's schedule, and 11 teams would help justify a 1 vs 2 Pac-10 title game.

Boise State Broncos: See above.

Utah Utes: Many are making the case that they deserve the National Championship because of their win over Alabama and their undefeated record. What kills them is their 72nd ranked Strength of Schedule. For some reason, nobody is talking about how Utah and Texas had a 2-1 contract, meaning these teams would play each other 3 consecutive years, 2007 at Texas, 2008 at Utah, and 2009 back at Texas. This didn't happen because Utah pulled out of this season's game at the last minute, so Texas scheduled Arkansas State instead. If Utah wants to be taken seriously as a possible National Champion, then they need to play Texas, period. If that Texas/Utah game occurred, whichever team lost would be clearly out of the NCG picture, and which ever team won most likely would be playing Florida tonight.

University of Texas Longhorns: They do have the biggest argument out of anybody to play in the National Championship Game, due to the fact that they beat Oklahoma earlier this year. People say the BCS screwed them because Oklahoma, by a few percentage points, inched out Texas in the Rankings, thus the highest BCS ranked team got to play in the conference championship and so on and so forth. But the fact is, the Big 12 all around got this one wrong.

The SEC's rule about a 3 way tie is they take the two highest ranked BCS teams out of the three, and go with head to head. This makes perfect sense. The Big 12 just simply goes with the highest ranked BCS team, disregarding head to head completely. You also have to acknowledge the fact that Every Big 12 coach unanimously agreed to said rules, so ultimately Texas has nobody to blame but themselves. But I also blame the Big 12 as a whole for agreeing to these tiebreaker rules.


So there you have it. As much as I'd like a playoff, it just simply isn't going to happen anytime in the near future. If these teams make these adjustments, then we wouldn't be hearing the massive arguments.

Yankees Just Bought the Rights to Jesus Christ

Just Minutes ago, Jesus Christ signed a 6 year 185 million dollar contract in hopes that he will produce a few miracles and help a few bounces go the Yankees way.



The lack of a Salary Cap in Major League Baseball is a complete joke. I know this is your favorite sport Haas (Twins are my favorite team of any sport) but this spending whatever you feel like is ruining the game, and has been ruining it for a long time.

Sometimes, Sarah Palin Doubts Your Commitment to Sparkle Motion

by M. Waters

For the longest time I knew Sarah Palin reminded me of somebody, but I could never figure it out who until like 10 minutes ago. She's that lady in Donnie Darko.



except hotter.

Why are they still playing baseball this late in the year?

Its 3 days from Halloween and Tampa/Philadelphia could still play 3 more games.

I've caught wind that the playoffs , pending some seven game series, could go into November next year and years to come. November? Baseball? wasn't this the sport of summer? I love baseball, but having it span over 9 calendar months is just ridiculous. And what happens if teams like the Twins, Indians, Cubs, White Sox, etc make it to the world series and have to play games in November? How are you supposed to pitch in 20 or lower degree weather? imagine being a catcher trying to catch 80-90 mph frozen fastballs. How are you supposed to throw, hit, steal, dive, sprint for looping fly balls when you're wearing inches of body armor? Why should you play 8 months in warm weather, only to have everything be decided in the worst conditions that you could possibly play in?

And at least in football there's constant action so its easier for fans to be loud, jump around and get the blood flowing. imagine sitting through a 2-1 9 inning baseball game when its 18 degrees at Target Field or Park or whatever its called.

This is stupid. Stop having baseball go on this long, this late in the year.

I love the fox robot football player

just kidding. I hate you. Every year I hope you go away, but every year you come back, and do even dumber dance moves than before.


Sorry, I just really had to get that off my chest.

random babble not worth reading

Yesterday was the last day of the Minnesota State Fair. I bet a record number of overweight families showed up to this thing. Its a shame I didn't go.

The Twins are tied for 1st place, with only 3 games left of what was supposed to be a dooming road trip. I think they are in good shape to take the Central Division.

I started reading this book by Thich Nhat Hanh. Dude is a brilliant Buddhist Monk who will probably live to be 130 years old. His book, The Miracle of Mindfulness, teaches you how to breathe to change your mental attitude, and make you live a lot longer.

Gopher Nation moved one step closer to Pasadena Saturday Night by making a roaring, 4th-quarter comeback against the powerhouse known as Northern Illinois. It's a shame I didn't spend money to go watch this game at the Metrodome.

The Republican National Convention is going on right now, and McCain's running mate is Ted Nugent's wet dream. I will watch McCain's Speech to be fair, since I watched Obama's. Let's try to not have a political meltdown debate in the comments section.

McHale: For the Love of God

Draft O.J. Mayo on Thursday evening. He is awesome, he's a sure-fire future star, and please go against rumors I've been hearing about you wanting to trade down. It completely backfired when you traded Brandon Roy for Randy Foye, as it backfired even worse when you traded Ray Allen for Marbury. Please, moron, learn your lesson already and keep the 3rd pick, and make sure you use that pick on Mayo.


Mr. McHale, if you f**k this up, I will boycott the Timberwolves until you are no longer with the organization.
Todays Star Tribune most read stories...look at number one - priceless headline.

I love the Steve Wilkos Show

It really has become one of my favorite shows on television. I keep emailing the show to try and have Steve read my comments on the air and send me a free t-shirt, but nothing yet. : (

Debuted on September 10th of 2007, the Steve Wilkos show has been considered a train wreck by most television critics, but because it is so bad, its great. If Steve was even slightly better at hosting television shows than he is, I probably would not care for it, but the combination of white trash, child molesting guests, gaping holes in the production, and Steve's emotional explosions make a perfect storm.

Here are some great clips of Steve in action.



i love the dude laughing in the background, its like a mirror image of me.




Here's another clip. Notice when he stumbles through sentences, he just raises his voice. Gold.

I just noticed that Steve has a myspace page it's wonderful. Steve

You can also check out www.stevewilkos.com and if you're ever bored enough to actually do it, then you might want to consider offing yourself.

When we go to Chicago this summer, can we please get free tickets to go to this show? please?

Last T'Wolves Review of '08

Sorry for making the other reviews so long. I forget that not very many people are really into the most losingest franchise in the NBA, so I'll keep this one short. They finished 22-60, tied for the 3rd worst record in the league. We sucked, and need a bigger lineup and another scorer. The Wolves have a 13.75 percent chance of getting the number one pick in the upcoming draft. Now the Wolves have 2 huge needs: A PG and a Center. My top 3 would be Derrick Rose PG, Michael Beasley SF, Brook Lopez C. Any of these 3 players would automatically make us a better team.



Wolves Free Agents

Michael Doleac C - He sucks let him go.

Ryan Gomes SF/PF - Good, will be better if we can slide him to SF by obtaining a Center in the draft. Keep him.

Chris Richard C - Has shown improvement. Plays Defense already and can rebound. He would also be cheap to resign. Keep him.

Craig Smith PF - I love Smith because he is instant offense off the bench, but is too short to play defense. If his contract could be 3 million or less per year, bring him back.

Kirk Snyder SF - I like him, he's great, but doesn't fit in the grand scheme of things. Let him go.

Sebastian Telfair PG - He's fun to watch, but has a lot of holes in his game. He'll probably cost 4 or 5 million a year to resign and that's too much. Let him go.



Please Fire Randy Wittman

He sucks and we'll never win anything with him as our chess master.




My thoughts on McHale

He is still terrible at managing a basketball franchise, but has made a series of good moves over the past year. I would also like him to stick around one more year to help develop Jefferson, Richard and whichever big we get in the draft.



Next season Predictions:

Wolves will finish with 30-35 wins if they can draft any of the above three players. This team has never had luck with winning the lottery, so Brooke Lopez is more than likely going to be the player we end up with. Rose would be the golden ticket, but Lopez would help our size. This would be a realistic depth chart for next season if Lopez is acquired.

C Lopez/Richard
PF Jefferson/Smith
SF Gomes/Brewer/Draft player?
SG McCants/Brewer
PG Foye/Draft player?

Its been a long painful run, but Jefferson is fun to watch and will be an all star next season. I don't expect the Wolves to be a playoff team in 09, but they will be in 2010. This upcoming draft is going to be very big for the future of this team. If they get lucky and can land Derrick Rose then we will be a serious force for years to come. Keep your fingers crossed.

Fair Weather Wolves fans will soon jump back on board!

by Mark Waters

I just want to start by saying this 2007 T'Wolves team is going to be terrible. But that's completely acceptable. I know the interest is down for most Minnesota sports fans, but I'm very excited to watch these youngins come together. I figure I'll do some get to know 'ems and discuss other reasons as to why I think my favorite basketball team has a chance to be a force in the not-so-distant future.



Al Jefferson - Sky is the limit for this PF who helps at Center sometimes. He has already established himself as a pure scorer and rebounder. He's not a shot blocker, but his power and numerous post up moves make him an elite PF for years to come. I can see how he and Mark Blount didn't get along back in Boston. Al Jefferson has a post presence, is good at basketball, and actually works hard. They are polar opposites.

Ryan Gomes - Celtics Writers/Fans/Followers all agree that this young swingman has the potential to be a solid Small Forward in this league. He can quietly put up 15-20 points on any given night, and has a great attitude/work ethic. Unlike Ricky Davis, Gomes will actually make his teammates better. Expect him to score around 15 ppg this season as our starting SF.

Corey Brewer - It will take some time before he becomes a key factor - when he puts on about 15 lbs of muscle, you'll notice. He was one of NCAA's best defenders for the last 2 seasons and is a shooting threat as well as a slasher. He has already received numerous comparisons to a young Scottie Pippen due to his size and athletic ability. Again, it might take a couple years for him to adjust to the league, but he will be a valueable piece to this organization sooner rather than later.


That tie pwns hard^

Rashad McCants - tough call on McCants. His defense has looked better than last season, and has been scoring throughout all of preason. Only 2 games in, it's foolish to make bold predictions on how well he'll produce, but all indications are saying that he should be a legitimate 2 guard. His streakiness as a shooter is my main concern. Hopefully he has cured that, or will cure that as he gets older. The Wolves need him to step up and be one of the leaders this season.

Craig Smith - I love this guy, but he is simply too short to ever become a great player. His scoring ability has picked up where it left off, but he still isn't good enough defensively to be a starter. His role as a scorer off the bench is good enough for a favorable contract extension.

Randy Foye - Injured (which sucks) but when he returns there is no reason why he won't score 15-20 ppg. However, he isn't a true point guard, and this team already has enough 2 guards. Hopefully he can develope into a permanent role as our starting point guard.

Sebastian Telfair - If he can keep his head screwed on, within a couple years, this kid should develop into a fine point guard. This team desperately needs a true point.

Gerald Green - he is only what 20 years old? People have been very negative towards him, already calling him a bust. I'd like to see him get alot more playing time this season, but so far after 2 games he's played a total of 1 minute. Given playing time, he can be an energetic scoring threat.

I don't feel like mentioning Ratliff, Antoine Walker, Micheal Doleac, etc. because I really don't care about them. The're not that good, old, injury proned, and probably wont be on this team next year. Buckner has a chance to be decent, but the verdict is still clearly out with him.

On top of acquiring these good young prospects guess what? Blount, Davis, Hassell, Nate James, and Troy Hudson are no longer on our roster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All five are losers with terrible, long term contracts. McHale must be smoking drugs...or Hoiberg is playing a huge role in these moves. (more likely the latter)

A 15-25-win team this year will bring in a top 5 pick in what looks to be another deep draft. WIth all these crappy contracts that were bought out, and/or will expire within the next 2 seasons, this payroll will fall well under the cap allowing us to bring in a solid free agent or two to go along with a young, up and coming Wolves team. And I don't buy the "Good luck getting a free agent to come to Minnesota" crap. If you can pay them and you have a good team, they'll play in Mystery Alaska.

Come on Fair-Weather Minnasodah Rubes!!! Jump back on the T-Wolves train, cuz a few years from now, we're gonna be a serious contender. We're coooommmiinnnnnn!

I hate HTML-ing a bunch of links in my posts cuz I'm too lazy, but here's a crappy link to the wolves roster/stats

Lost Posts: Terrible Haircuts

Editors note: There's nothing else happenin on this Wednesday, so we figured we'd post this old story by Bizmarkie507. Perhaps commentators can help finish this post.


why is it that humans never learn? the sixties had terrible bee hive disasters such as:

What Jersey Would You Want?

by Mark Waters

My goal over the next few years is to have a wardrobe completely full of sweet sports jerseys. So I've been compiling a list of jerseys I'd give anything to have. Now some of the following are almost impossible to obtain (cost me a pretty penny) but it's still fun to dream. So here it goes in no particular order.



DAVID ORTIZ TWINS JERSEY.

As Much as it pains me to know that we could've won at least one championship had he stayed, I still would love to have his Twinkies jersey. There's something about jerseys of superstars before they were anything, especially when they played for small market teams. i.e. Carlos Beltran Royals, Gary Sheffield Brewers, Joe Nathan Giants, etc.



HAROLD MINER MIAMI HEAT.

This pic says it all. He was the most electrifying player coming out of college, but has to be hands down the biggest disappointment in the history of sports. If you sported one of these anywhere in public, you would get at least a few, "wow, holy shit! You have the best jersey ever" comments every time.





ANY JERSEY FROM THE HARTFORD WHALERS ERA.

There's something about a momento from a team that no longer exists that gets me every time. Possibly the whole vintage, out of print, only will appreciate in value with age factor is what sparks my interest. Not to mention their old school logo, and green and blue colors are beyond tight. I just bought a sweet whalers t-shirt on ebay, and eventually I'll drop a cool 300 on a real jersey, solely raising my wardrobe grade up at least a full letter.


WILLIE MAYS MINNEAPOLIS MILLERS

In 1951, The Say Hey Kid played a grand total of 35 games for the Giants' AAA affiliate. During his extremely short stay in Minneapolis he hit .477. I'm guessing you'd have to break into a museum to obtain this piece of history, but man oh man, it would be worth it.





GOD SHAMMGOD UNIVERSITY OF PROVIDENCE FRIARS JERSEY

Not only does #12 have the coolest name in the history of sports, he completely tore it up during his run to the great eight in the 97 NCAA tournament. (it was called the great eight in 97, why did they have to change it to elite eight?)

He did virtually nothing in his short lived career with the Bullets, but this dudes name, and mean crossover made him immortal.


SATCHEL PAIGE CLEVELAND INDIANS JERSEY

One of my favorite players in baseball's history. His influence on getting black players to play in the majors, a shoe in hall of famer, and his stories that could fill a book the size of the bible, Satchel was one of the most interesting athletes in the 20th century. I urge you all to read his bio on wikipedia and to read the book "Don't Look Back: Satchel Paige in the Shadows of Baseball"




So there you have it folks. If the ladies or gentlemen reading this have any jersey's that you'd love to have, please comment.

Paying Homage to Ron Coomer

by Mark Waters


There are very few memorable moments in the Twins Legacy from 1995-2000. They were perennial losers playing in front of crowds of 4,000 fans. One flicker of light beamed from a man by the name of Ronald Bryan Coomer. A one time all-star, Ron Coomer was the beer-league-looking Minnesota 1st baseman. He always had the carefree smiles in the dugout, and he even hit over .290 for two consecutive years. So what if he couldn't beat out a double play to save his life? His hairstyle, which resembled the security guard's dome from the Running Man, canceled out his athletic weaknesses.

Several years ago I got a free ticket to a Minnesota Wild Skills competition. It was a Saturday afternoon and I had nothing else to do so I figured I'd go check it out. As I walked in and grabbed a program I just flipped through it out of boredom, then all of a sudden I read the Celebrity All Star Game rosters. Paul Allen, Don Shelby, among other "celebrities" as well as former North Stars were on this list. Then I noticed Ron Coomer's name.

I could not believe it. Coomdog somehow qualified as a celebrity, and I couldn't have been happier. Although he didn't score any goals, he played with passion and grace.

American League All-Star Selection by Default, 1999. Booyah!

Last season I scalped a ticket to watch Game 1 of the divisional playoffs. I was pumped to see Santana lead the way in attempt to take the first game of the series. As I watched Jesse Crain give up the crushing bomb to Frank Thomas, my heart completely imploded. I, among 55,000 other fans, filed out of the dome with our heads down. As I walked toward the light rail, I looked up and saw some cameras ahead. Then I noticed the back of a sweet sports jacket and the slicked back hair jutting out of the top of it. I yelled, "Yeah! It's Ron Coomer!" Then he does a half turn look-over-the-shoulder, with an ear to ear grin, looks me in the eyes and goes, "Hey, what's up?"

Never have I went from a horrible sick feeling, to pure happiness faster than that moment in time. "Hey, what's up?" Better words could not have been spoken.

I bought a Yankees Suck T-shirt at Fenway Park a few years back. The front of it says Yankees Suck in large letters, and the back has a list of New York's then-entire roster.

It listed:

Giambi...sucks
Posada...sucks
Williams...sucks
Pettitte...sucks
Rivera...sucks
Coomer...sucks

And Jeter swallows

The fact that Coomdog is listed on there makes me LOL every time I look at the shirt.
After a dome game I hope to see him again getting ready for some color commentary action, and get a picture with him pointing at his name on the shirt. That photo would become my life long facebook avatar.


So his career on base percentage is only .313. Who cares? His intangibles in awesomeness completely made up for it

I Love you Ronald Bryan Coomer. Don't ever change.


Here's a link to Ron Coomer's official fanclub group on facebook
(The group kind've sucks, but hey, it's his official facebook fanclub.)

Great Moments in AH! History

By Tom Daymont

Many people probably think that the writers and readers of Alright Hamilton! are just a handful of dudes just out of college who like to spend their time at work writing and reading blogs that deal with bars, baseball and a variety of other Minnesota sport teams.

Little do they know that some of us (not me) have actually been around for some of the greatest events in sports history. Let’s take a look at some of these moments.

Who could forget when Tony F. Rezac had a dramatic finish at the 1986 Masters. Coming back from 9th place on Sunday to beat a young Greg Norman, and future Hall of Famers, Tom Kite, Nick Price, and Tom Watson.
Some of these moments go back even farther. Like when “The Iron Horse” Josh Holm set the MLB record playing in his 2,130th consecutive game. While this was thought to be an unbreakable record, it stood for 56 years until it was finally broken by Cal Ripken Jr. on September 6, 1995.
Not all moments by AH! contributors have been “great”, a young Andrew Bresnahan was at the October 14, 2003 game 6 of the National League Championship Series between the Chicago Cubs and the Florida Marlins. Andy, better known now as “Bresna-man” attempted to catch a foul ball in front of Cubs left fielder Moises Alou at Wrigley Field. As many now know, Alou did not make the catch and the Cubs failed to reach the World Series. As for the Bresnahan, no one knows exactly where he is now.
As for Michael Haas, who could forget the 1965 fight with Sonny Liston in Maine. The fight only had 2,434 fans attended it live, setting an all-time record for the lowest attendance in a world championship boxing fight, but that didn’t stop the fight from being one of the most controversial in boxing history.

Midway through the first round, Liston fell to the canvas, in what many have argued was not a legitimate knockdown. Referee Jersey Joe Walcott, a former world Heavyweight champion himself, seemed to be confused after he sent the boxer to a neutral corner, but Haas refused, instead posing over his fallen rival, yelling at him to get up, then with his fists up in the air, celebrating the fall. Haas was awarded a first round knockout in front of a couple thousand confused and disappointed spectators.

But probably the greatest athletic acheivment of any Alright Hamilton contributors is that of Mark “The Stilt” Waters. Doing something no one has done since. Mark scored 100 points in NBA game on March 2, 1962 at Hersheypark Arena in Hershey, Pennsylvania. The game was between the Philadelphia Warriors, for which Mark played for and the New York Knicks,

While Mark holds the record for most points averaged in a season and most points in a single game. Mark also proclaimed in his second autobiography “A View from Above” that he has slept with over 20,000 women. Which if you do the math, means that Mr. Waters slept with 9 women a week since the time he was 15 to the time he was 40.

Other AH! Readers have also been featured in sports related movies. Matt Pillsbury, better known as Daniel LaRusso, is tutored by Karate master Mr. Kesuke Miyagi in this 1984 John G. Avildsen film (director of Rocky). He is seen here in a promotional photograph.

There you have it, the next time you read a post by Mark Waters concerning the Timberwolves and you ask yourself “what does this guy know about basketball” remember he once scored with 20,000 chicks and 100 points in a game.

Why I Hate the Boston Red Sox

by Mark Waters

It pains me to type the following sentence: I hate the Boston Red Sox.

I have a lot of relatives who live in the Boston area, so as a kid, I loved going to Fenway Park to root for my then favorite team. (sorry Twins Faithful, but from age Whenever-8 I was a bigger Sox fan.) The best part about flying out to Boston every summer was seeing the giant CITGO sign towering over Fenway.

In fact, up until a few years ago the Red Sox were the other team I cheered for every night, until they made the fatal error...becoming hypocrites.

Larry Lucchino (Red Sox CEO) is the man who coined the phrase "Evil Empire" when describing the New York Yankees. Boston GM, Theo Epstein, is a spokesman for that term, pissing it out of his mouth a number of times since its birth. All of you understand why the Yankees earned that title, obviously, but how are the Red Sox the "Little Engine that Could?"

Last time I checked, Boston's team salary is a minuscule $143,123,714. (2nd highest in Major League Baseball). 11 of their 14 highest paid players were bought via free agency. As most of you know, they spent 40 million dollars JUST TO TALK to Daisuke Matsuzaka.

I passionately hate the Yankees for their complete disregard to money management, but at least they aren't attempting to fool anybody. They know they are hated because of their spending. But whiny Lucchino dubbed these guys the Evil Empire, yet has now turned into what he so despised.

Darth Maul kept it real. He was evil from day one, realized this, and went about his day. But Anakin started out all "woah is me", hated the siths, but ultimately turned on everything he believed in and became what he hated.

So go ahead and enjoy that 2004 world series trophy, Theo & Co. You basically bought it on ebay. Hypocrites.

I'm liking the youth, and then some...again

by Mark Waters

Kevin Slowey is younger than me, and is completely dominating AAA. I cannot wait until the clause in his contract will expire (this will push back arbitration an extra year) so he can take over for Ortiz...Or Silva if he continues to show his true colors. I'm sure most of you are aware of his 50 strikeouts to 5 walks, .195 opponent batting average, and his almost equal splits between left and right hand batters.
yay

Everyone also knows about Garza and Baker's potential, but I'm wondering about our non-pitchers over in Rochester.

I really don't know anything about these guys, other than reading their stats, but Shortstop/2nd baseman Matt Tolbert is currently hitting .356. He is only hitting .250 against lefties, but about 2 weeks ago he was hitting 60 points lower than that. He has limited power (as if punto/bartlett have more) but he is hitting roughly 100 points higher, and he just turned 25. Talk about long term potential at short, or 2nd, depending on how big of a bust Alexi Casilla is or isn't.

What about Jose Morales at Catcher? In 36 games at Rochester, he is batting .353 - .286 against lefties. He is also very young at 24. He too has limited power, but so does Mike Redmond and Morales is a decade younger. Morales would be perfect for the Twins' future, allowing Mauer to transition to 3rd base or LF without losing too much production behind the plate.

Trent Oeltjen is another 24 year old prospect who is hitting .318 in AAA. Although he's had limited ABs against lefties, he is hitting .294 against them. Due to the absolute lack of production out of Tyner/Kubel, he could make a great subsitution come September.


Here's the part where I start dreaming. I can dream can't I?


This trade proposal makes sense, and is plausable. Trade Perkins, Hunter, Baker/Boof and possibly a draft pick to Texas for Mark Teixeira and Hank Blalock. Tex hits for power and average, and could clear up the DH problem. Being only 27 is also a big plus. Blalock is basically out for the next 3 months recovering from a bizarre rib operation. Because of his significant stint on the DL, his trade value should be relatively cheap.

Texas is in last place, and they realize two things. 1. They need to rebuild. 2. They desperately need young pitching.

I would like to see Santana be resigned, but I do not see Johan AND Hunter being signed. Torii is having an MVP type year, and the Twins need to take advantage of his value while they still can. Now this is fantasy land, but hear me out.

The next 2-3 years:

Starting Rotation:
Santana LHP
Slowey RHP
Liriano LHP
Garza RHP
Boof
or BakerRHP

Position Players:
Morales C
Morneau 1B
Casilla 2B
Tolbert SS
Blalock 3B
Teixeira DH
Mauer LF
Span CF (not so good hitter, but can play D)
Cuddy RF

Hopefully Kubel will figure it out by then, because I still believe that he can be a somewhat productive bat.

That roster gives an excellent balance of hitting for power, hitting for average, and speed on the base paths
Bullpen:
Neshek
Rincon (he's only 28)
Guerrier check out his stats so far, very nice.


Does anybody else have an erection after imagining this roster? I do.

Ahhhh I Still Believe!

Waters Sez....

Now that Sidney Ponson is gone - I'm still convinced he used to be the greased up Sax player from the Lost Boys Movie (but since then has hit the Dark Beers and Burgers section more than the gym)

- I can rejoice. Goodbye. And as far as the Twins chances of success? I Still Believe!