CraigsList is Pure Entertainment

I've bought and sold a few things on CraigsList, but the amount of transactions is pretty tiny compared to the amount of time I spend browsing the site. Holy cow wow I love browsing the site. It's a slice, nay, a snapshot of humanity, in all it's disgusting hypersexuality and materialism.

The job section can be very interesting, although it's overwhelming because there are so many different types of jobs in so many places. There are 31 different categories of jobs on CraigsList, not including a section just for part-time work. And I love that they included an et-cetera section, just in case a job listing doesn't fit into any of the others. I can imagine someone (in a cowboy hat) asking, "so, what line a work you in?" and I'd reply, "et-cetera."

Basically, every single job listing is written in such a way that makes their position sound absolutely wonderful. Like this one, under the vague heading Project Manager:

A fast growing wholesale business is looking for the right individual to  make a huge impact and to help lead the company in growth. Specific  responsibilities are: strategic sourcing and vendor relations, accurate  fulfilling of custom orders and managing all operations. Other job  duties could include margin analysis and pricing and special projects.

Grow with the company. Sounds so loving and co-operative. Also, these ads never tell you how hard the job will be. Sure, they list job responsibilities, but they always sound so simple and easy. Strategic sourcing? Great, combines two of my favorite activities. Vendor relations? Sure, whenever I see the guy refilling the coke machine, I say hello and ask him for a free coke. Managing all operations? How hard can that be?

Must have a strong project management background with excellent organization skills. Must love details, analysis, decision making and  getting things done. Must have strong software skills and be a quick  learner in all Microsoft products.

If they're looking for someone who LOVES details, analysis, decision making and getting things done, they might as well just build a robot. Seriously, some poor sap who needs this job is going to walk in there babbling on and on about how he's loved details and analysis since he was a little kid. Can you even imagine the kind of environment that values those lame characteristics so ridiculously high? The employees probably cut loose after work by rigidly cleaning their cubicles.

Summing up the Wonder of the Internet

This is what happens when CraigsList, Google and Twitter work together in brilliant harmony.

Step 1: Stumble on a ridiculously overpriced item on CraigsList:

Step 2: Call them out by writing them a secretly snarky e-mail: (the other ornament mentioned in this message is a 1987 edition, listed here for $20.)

Step 3: Tweet about the amazingly high price and the inaccurate date of the items in the CraigsList ad.

Step 4: Receive two replies from the CraigsList ornament seller:

In between messages, the seller googles my e-mail handle, and replies with this:

Twins stuff on craigslist

Matt Guerrier, Joe Nathan and Mike Redmond autographed baseballs.



"The balls themself retail 15.00. These are signed and are $20.00 each." This marks the first time Matt Guerrier has increased the value of anything.


Really cool set of seats from the DOME



For $150 bucks you can own three chairs from the Metrodome. They must have been removed when they built the two monster suites. For removing Viking fan puke, rinse in warm soapy water, air dry.

1991 World Champs Ornament



What better way to commemorate a championship than to hang something from your Christmas tree?

1987 World Champion Beer Stein

Apparently folks once drank their beer from something called a stein, but they've fallen out of favor, replaced by the wildly popular, "drinking straight from the can."

Bidding war of the century: 1987 Homer Hanky. Best offer gets it.

In your home, how many times do you need to commemorate 1987 World Series? What's the point of commemoration anyway? If you're snuggled in bed, don't just lay there doing nothing. The least you could do is commemorate the '87 champs with a $1,000 homer hanky quilt and matching pillow. Do you have an empty spot anywhere in in your house large enough to fit a baseball? Why waste that space when you could be commemorating the hell out of the '87 champs with an $800 autographed baseball? At that point it might be cheaper to just pay Les Straker to live on your couch.