By Tom Daymont
(Disclaimer: I apologize to all reader's as I feel this post is not up to the strict AH! standards set my Mr. Haas. I have not completely fleshed out these ideas myself, but I hope this will provide a venue for dialogue. So, here goes....)
Everyone knows about the unwritten rules of playing baseball. Don’t steal a base when you are up double digits, if your player gets hit by a pitch, retaliate, and of course never bunt in the ninth inning when the pitcher’s got a no hitter. But what about us? What about the fans? Are there any unwritten rules for the spectators? The answer is yes, and I am going to list them (bet you didn’t see that coming).
- A fan should never wear a player's jersey if that player is younger than them. Unless you are a girl. (Think: 50 year old fat man squeezing in to a Mauer Jersey) If you are old, you better have a Cooperstown jersey.
- A fan should never wear apparel from a team that is not playing in the game they are attending.
- A fan should never wear a jersey of a player that is currently or in the past playing for another team since they played on the team of the game you are attending.
(Unless that player’s number has been retired on the team of the game you are attending.)
- A fan should not bring their glove to a game unless they are in a reasonably close proximity to where a ball might land.
(Unless you are under 12 years old.)
- If a fan catches a ball he/she must give it to the nearest youngster.
(Unless its #756.)
- A fan must never attempt to start the wave.
- A fan MUST kiss when they are on the kiss cam.
(Unless it’s your sister or you're a fugitive.)
- A fan must tip their beerman.
That's about all I can come up with, please post comments on any that I missed.
17 comments:
Whats wrong with bringing your glove to the game and sitting in the cheap seats? It's pretty dumb, but why make a rule?
I say it's kind of ok to do dumb stuff like the wave or tossing a beach ball around or getting unreasonably drunk if the game has already been decided. ex. double digit leads. but never when the home team is batting.
What's the unwritten rule about a getting up for people coming in and out or your row? Sitting in the middle of a full row of people, are you only allowed to get up once or twice a game, or is it simply a duty of those who sit near the aisle not to complain about getting up 16 times during the game?
how is it reasonable to get unreasonably drunk at a baseball game? even if the games been decided, you don't want to act like a yankee fan : http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/
news?slug=ap-yankees-faninjured
i guess it's ok to start the wave, but it better not be anyone that i know. i think it should be a rule that you must mercilessly taunt one who tries to start the wave. my favorite: "sit down! you're embarrassing yourself!!"
it should be a rule that you have to keep it moving when exiting the dome thru the windy doors (?) (is there a proper term for that?) i hate those people who stand there in the wind. i know we all wish we could feel the wind of the dome forever, but you're gonna hurt someone or yourself.
feel the wind of the dome forever (or at least until 2010)
I still wear my Guzman jersey to games. I like the number 15 and it cost me like 90 bucks.
I saw a guy wearing a Pierzinski jersey at a game last week. I bet they got some heckling. Not from me though, I like A.J.
In 2000 I received a Guzman jersey, and i found a Mientkiewicz jersey at the dome that same year. I had worn that Guzman jersey to every twins game I attended from the day i got it, til the day he left us. Now they both hold a very special place in my closet. I havent worn them since.
As far as the wave goes, it sucks.
I cant wait for soup's take on this one.
So... nobody over forty-five can purchase a current jersey? that doesnt make sense.(julio franco asside)
i love the windy doors. i will miss them.
I think there should be a rule against girls that think they’re all hot and just stand for innings at a time by the upper deck railing pretending to look for a seat. We all know you are not looking for a seat, and we know you realize that this is the biggest audience of males you can find to gawk at you. You gave it away when you wore a toddler size Mauer t-shirt, mini skirt and high heels. Just sit the hell down and text your BFF or something.
Last week I went to a game and I saw some dude with an authentic Minnesota Twins Mike Fetters jersey. Fetters pitched exactly 6.0 innings for the Twins. So, this guy had to have a Fetters jersey specially made. I can’t think of a better way to spend over 70 dollars.
Worst jersey I have ever seen worn to a game: Denny Hocking 2 years after he left the twins.
I rarely discourage inebriation, but I hate the really drunk guy at Twins game. I did, however, really enjoy a super drunk guy at the Rockies and Nationals game. When you’re at a Rockies and Nationals game…any additional entertainment is appreciated. He was on the run from security for honestly 15 minutes. He just kept running around the upper bowl with many exciting near captures. He kept falling really hard and was bleeding all over, but they just couldn’t catch him…and I just couldn’t stop laughing.
oh, and Haas, I am think there should be a rule against saying, "Sup Dazzle" when you run into Dan Gladen in a dark alley outside the Hubert H.
No disclaimer needed tom. Good post.
Do not brag loudly to your girlfriend about your vast knowledge of the game and then yell "we need a double play right now" when there are TWO OUTS ALREADY!
unwritten rule: You are not allowed to leave a close game early, just to beat traffic.
the first 5,000 females in attendance that wear a mauer jersey should be the cutoff. everyone girl after that should be forced to either turn the jersey/shirt inside out, or stuff it in their purse.
and soup, and fetters jersey is the best twins jersey i can think of somebody owning right now. a rick nakamura jersey would be equally as sweet.
So does that mean I can't get a Liriano or Garza jersee? Man, i feel old.
*mike* nakumura
if i were to have one twin jersee from the 2000's, (besides coomer)it would be david ortiz #27. i dont care if it brings up hard feelings and loathing.
also, i feel that it should be a rule that you are REQUIRED to say 'whats up dazzle' if you see him on a cell phone after midnight in a dark alley.
ha ha. Good point Haas.
Just out of curiosity...what percentage of AH! moms had a crush on Dan Gladden? I'm going to say it's around 80%
I thought about writing a senior thesis paper on my belief that the farther you sit from home plate and the cheaper your tickets were the more likely you are to be in an area where someone attempts to start the wave. In my experience those that are a bit more blue collar and tend to fall into the middle to lower middle class are more apt to beleive and act on the idea that the wave is a good idea and thus those sitting around them in a simaliar position tend to concure. Maybe I'm way off.
foss that might be true, but my thoughts on it is the closer you are to home plate, the better the action is and the better you can see the players, making it harder to get bored than when your sitting way out in the left field upperdeck.
It is extremely annoying to see a couple mid-late 20 drunk guys yelling one, two, three! and trying to get everyone to do the wave. If this only happend 5-1o times a year, it would be ok, but the fact that it happens at every single game is very annoying.
The rule on the wave as I see it: If you are old enough to drive yourself to the game, you are too old to enjoy the wave. It is then only acceptable if you brought a youngster (12 and under) to the game.
My Unwritten Rule of Spectatorship: No more 'Kiss me (insert your preferred M&M), it's my birthday!' signs.
Really, it's probably NOT going to happen (99.9% of the time) and besides that, neither M&M is probably even going to see the sign. Why not invest your time and artistic abilities into a better sign, like a classic 'Circle Me Bert' sign? As a devoted female Twins fan, I understand the attraction of the M&M's (although I personally prefer Jason Bartlett, even with his butterfingers)... but I would never waste my time making a sign asking for Jason Bartlett's hand in marriage. I'm too busy pregaming on Sgt. Preston's porch to be using Crayola markers and glue before the game.
The guidelines for Twins signage would also include jumbo-tron birthday wishes. Of course, there would be special guidelines for the young, the old, and the extremely intoxicated. I mean, I'm not going to tell some cute old lady to put down her 'Joe Mauer is hot' sign; I, however, have no problem ripping up a sign being held up by some ditzy blond who a) can't tell me what position Joe or Justin play and b) doesn't know the difference between the National and the American league. The M&M's would never like them anyways.
yeah, d'say, and thats just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to female "baseball fans"
us guys don't let it bother us though. cuz its a scientific fact that women wearing twins apparel are 70% hotter than if they weren't wearing twins apparel.
good to have a female on here to complain.
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