By Michael Haas
While surfing around the intraweb the other day, I came across an amazing tidbit:
"The die-hard fans at U.S.S. Mariner have been painfully aware of (phenom Felix Hernandez's inability to mix pitches early in the game) for quite some time. Frustration boiled over on June 27th, when Dave Cameron wrote a post: An Open Letter To Rafael Chaves. Chaves is the Mariners' pitching coach. The letter pleaded for Chaves to make Felix mix up his pitches early on.
Cameron probably never anticipated that Chaves would actually read the letter. But he did, and the pitching coach actually gave a copy to Felix for him to read. Chaves has been trying to hammer this point home with Hernandez, but the letter helped reinforce the need for better pitch selection. Hernandez tossed eight scoreless innings today, crediting the letter for his early success"A blog complaint actually made a difference. This is big news.
So it got me thinking - To whom would I write an open letter complaining about something, in hopes of getting something accomplished? hmmmm.
Dear Johan Santana and Torii Hunter
I will give you my '98 Mazda Protege if you resign with the Twins at a price that they're willing to pay, and one that won't hinder them from making other signings and remaining competitive. I've already figured out how to split the cars usage evenly
Mondays through Thursday - Johan gets the car
Friday through Sunday - Torii gets the car
It's your choice if you'd like the flop-flip the days during the offseason.
Dear Prince
I'd love to play in your band sometime. I can play the opening chord of 'Purple Rain' better than you can. Let's jam.
Dear Jessica Alba
We should get together sometime.
Dear McDonalds at 66th and Lyndale
Give free water, you jackasses.
8 comments:
you know what torii and johan? because of mike's inspiring offer of benevelance, i am willing to throw in my '95 ford tauras to up the anti. all you guys need to do now, is play for us for the next few years. what would the new stadium be without you guys manning your positions inside of it?
the only thing is... jessica alba gets first dibs on my car. but as soon as she declines, then its all yours. power windows and locks, automatic transmission, a little rust, and lots of trunk space.
I throw in my brand new yellow moped Johan. If your going downhill with the wind you can almost get it going 40mph.
Dear Jermaine Dye: Stop sucking, how do you go from MVP candidate to this sickening display?
Dear Dr Pepper: What are these 23 flavors you claim to have?
Dear Bill Gates: Can I have some of your money?
i know johan likes to change speeds, so i'll throw in a brake repair too. hes gotta be careful on that mo ped though.
you shoulda picked up hunter pence brex. good fantasy baseball ownersmake adjustments for their underachieving outfielders. thats the one thing i dont like about fantasy baseball: it can spawn comments of dismay about a division rivals player who's doing shitty. that shouldn't happen.
I have a trade in works involving Pence. He hasn't been a free agent for some time now, but thanks for a tip.
Man, I have been sending Kelly Theisler like a letter a day about how Johan should mix in a knuckle curve every 5th pitch or so...and does he listen?
Dear Nick Punto:
When are you going to release a instructional DVD on how to hit a baseball?
You got mentioned on Howard's blog the other day; congrats! I'm also honored to have my now-defunct blog mentioned by two fellow townies.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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