Monday Notes

-Many of us are rightfully worried about Target Corp. branding their logo on all things Target Field. But if there were an appropriate place for their logo it would be here:
Then, of course, something like, “Hit it here.” That’s a really far HR, but it would be cool if someone actually hit it. Either way, Target Field is the best ballpark in the history of baseball.

-It’s very likely the Twins will have four players with at least 25 bombs. If it happens, it will be the first time since Mount Crushmore’s Tom Burnansky, Kent Hrbek, Gary Gaetti, and Kirby Pucket did it in ’87. Now that we finally have some power in our line up…here we come World Ser…playo…winning rec…

-Here’s a look at some popular websites when they first launched. We have a screenshot of AH! when it first launched?

-Sometimes bad baseball players get immortalized in memorabilia too.

-One thing the Twins starting pitchers did well this year: sharing. Nobody hogged their spot in the starting rotation. In all, eleven different pitchers started for the Twins this year. Sharing is caring. Sometimes at the cost of being good at baseball, but still...

-This is a couple of months old, but former Cubs outfielder, Doug Glanville, was a very entertaining guest on NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.” He was an engineering grad from Penn. He’s much more interesting than our former Ivy Leaguer, Craig Breslow. Breslow always kind of bugged me for some reason. Like, “Oh, I could be a life-saving doctor because my sister is sick, but instead I chose to be a MLB LOOGY.” Whatever.

-I love it when new animals are found in remote jungles. That’s why God invented Papua New Guinea. After I feel a little down about some animal that is going to become extinct in a few years I love reading a headline from Papua New Guinea that says, “Dude goes to mailbox, discovers nine new species of toads” The most recent headline is “Lost world of fanged frogs and giant rats discovered in Papua New Guinea.” Awesome. Holmer, I know you’re excited about the giant rats.
-Finally, friends, I want to talk to you about something very important. The olgoi-khorkhoi is gunna git ya!! Yes, that’s the Mongolian Death Worm. It has “the ability of the worm to spew forth sulfuric acid that, on contact, will turn anything it touches yellow and corroded (which would kill a human),[3] and its purported ability to kill at a distance by means of electric discharge”!!!!!!!!!

So maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday you’ll be on a leasurly stroll through the Gobi desert and BAM!!! Your face is being melted by sulfuric acid. Then electrocution. Then your body will be left to rot under the excrement of wild camels. You’ve been warned.