Notes: condiments, roster moves, and Korean cartoons

-We are all hoping that the food at Target field will be better than the Metrodome, and I think it will be. But how can we improve the condiment selection? I have the answer, friends. I give you Squeez Bacon!

-On Friday Joe Mauer is coming baaaaaaaaack! They are shining his armor and saddling his white horse as we speak. Unfortunately this means bizmarkie507's man crush, Jose Morales, will be sent back down to his natural habitat in Rochester. He's leading the team in average, OBP, and a very impressive line drive percentage (32.1%), but his demotion is really the only move the team can make.

Despite Morales' lack of defensive deftness, I'm sure a handful of Major League teams would take him over their starting catcher right now. He has hit .322 in his last 611 ABs between AAA and the Majors. So, hopefully he'll still get some time with the big league club this season. He's done a nice job as the third catcher -- filling the huge shoes left by Chris Heintz.

-19th century baseball stat of the day: In 1875 Al Spalding's win-loss record was 55-5. Years later Spalding's sneaker, "Hakeem the Dream" was invented. The rest is history.

-Jaun Morillo is fascinating to watch. Obviously he throws really hard, but everyone watching him, including himself, has no idea where the ball is going to go. I'm not sure I have seen this from a Twins pitcher before. When Morillo pitches the catcher just puts his glove in the exact middle of the strike zone every time and hopes he can get close. Very entertaining.

Sure, he has a 22.50 ERA, but it's a low 22.50. It's really more like a 22.49 if you think about. Plus it's kind of fun to say "Morillo." If middle-school-me (who based pitching ability exclusively on velocity) were writing this, he would tell you that the Twins should keep the flamethrower when Jesse Crain comes back and send down R.A. Dickey. Then middle-school-me would laugh about writing "Dickey."

-Let's play a game I like to call Create-a-Translation. The real translation is funny in its own right, and I'll post it later, but let's dust off our Korean dictionaries and give it a shot.

Here's mine:

Dimitri: Brother, your tendency to ground ball has brought the shame of a thousand broken waterfalls to our family

Delmon: Brother Meathook, your talk gives me the many angers! Let this bat break with violence to show the feelings in me!

Give it a try. It's fun.

Actual Translation:

Dimitri: “Because your face looks exactly like mine, you will be a great star!!”

Delmon: “No! My appearance is not like that!!!”

“DNA can’t be cheated!!”

“Po-jik” (Korean breaking sound)

Caption: “Purveyor of dirty personality!!”