By Michael Haas
Last week, just after Billy Smith was named the new General Manager of the Twins, Ron Gardenhire talked with him on the phone to discuss future plans. 
Gardenhire: Who should we try to acquire for next season?
Smith: hmmmm, I'm not sure, but they'll need to come cheap.
Gardy: I've had my eyes on this one guy, and I think I know how to get him for practically nothing.
Smith: Are you talking about Haas's Goat?
Gardy: Oh you know him?
Gardenhire is always trying to get Haas's Goat.
Smith: How are you get his goat for nearly nothing?
Gardy: I'll make up some ridiculous story to tell Star Tribune beat writer LaVelle E Neal III.
Smith thought this might be a risky move, but he figured Terry Ryan would let him get away with it. The story was published in the paper on September 18th, 2007.
In it, Gardy claimed that Nick Punto has the edge over Alexia Casilla for the starting second base position in 2008.
Although Casilla is a Space Cadet, and averages one boner per game, he has an upside.
Smith: Yeehaw Gardy, you really gone and done it this time! That story was magnificently stupid!
Gardy: I know! Can you imagine Haas's face when he read that headline this morning? Priceless!
Of course, Gardenhire is kidding about playing Nick Punto over Alexi Casilla. He's just trying to get my goat - so the goat can play second everyday.
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5 comments:
I nearly gagged on my Malt-O-Meal cereal when I read that headline this morning.
It is very comforting to know that Gardy is just foolin' with Haas's head (and Aaron Gleeman's and Twins Geek's and...).
I would pay extra to see that goat play any infield position as opposed to Punto. I'm guessing the goat would a be little disappointed at the kind of grass they have in the Dome, though.
Haas-
Who wouldn't want Haas' goat for cheap? I was pretending to listen to my mom and she got pissed when I got to the Haas' goat part because I was, well, not listening.
Let's be real, your goat could cover the whole outfield and possibly the Twins could rent him out to opposing teams to eat their grass, which would add even more to the bankroll.
I pray Gardy only said this to try and motivate the seemingly unmotivated casilla to perform better. If he was serious about this, then lord help us.
Im on Gardy's side. I like getting Haas' goat as well.
I like it. better than you described.
I wish i knew what you guys were talking about half the time...
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