By Twinswin83
So often when I’m going about my daily life something either happens to me, around me or
within my ear shot that is just utterly ridiculous or annoying. It’s times like these when I wish I had a tape recorder with me (ala Norm McDonald in Dirty Work) so that I could document all the little things that drive me nuts. Well, I don’t have a tape recorder, and since I’m busy saving up for a new adaptor cord for my Nintendo 64, I can’t really afford one right now.
within my ear shot that is just utterly ridiculous or annoying. It’s times like these when I wish I had a tape recorder with me (ala Norm McDonald in Dirty Work) so that I could document all the little things that drive me nuts. Well, I don’t have a tape recorder, and since I’m busy saving up for a new adaptor cord for my Nintendo 64, I can’t really afford one right now.That doesn’t mean I can’t rack my brain, however, and think up some items that I find irritating, baffling or just flat out infuriating about everyday life. Living in the upper Midwest where real problems in life are few and far between, it is the little and insignificant things we must dwell on in order to get some really good griping in. And since I’ve been raised as gold medal complainer this should be right up my alley. So with a shout out to Peter Griffin I’d like to introduce a new outlet for public venting called; Things That Grinds My Gears. Here’s a few starting topics:
-Dudes that clip their cell phones on the outside of their belt buckles.
-The fact that the last three Stanley Cup Champions come fromFlorida North Carolina California
-Metal bats.
-Seasons 2, 3 and 4 of the O.C.
-The fact that they called it the “O.C.”
-Repeats of Twins games on FSN the day after they lose.
-The lack of Saved By the Bell reruns on basic cable.
-People that take forever in front of me at the drive thru ATM machine.
-When all you want is to make a really good turkey sandwich and you venture to the fridge only to find out that you’re all out of turkey. And cheese. And bread. And mayo.
-Canadians that do nothing but talk about how greatCanada
-Canadians.
-Canada
-People who don’t use T9word when texting.
-NFL Live on ESPN in April instead of Baseball Tonight
-Dice-K.
-Hotels that don’t have wireless internet.
-When Johan throws a gem and the Twins don’t score any runs.
-Highlights of Lynx basketball on the local news.
-People that drive in the right lane of the interstate/freeway with their blinker on.
-People who make fun of me inNorth Dakota
-The fact that people inJapan
-“Head-On” commercials.
-People who really don’t have anything to complain about but continuously bitch about meaningless stuff anyways.
-Dudes that clip their cell phones on the outside of their belt buckles.
-The fact that the last three Stanley Cup Champions come from
-Metal bats.
-Seasons 2, 3 and 4 of the O.C.
-The fact that they called it the “O.C.”
-Repeats of Twins games on FSN the day after they lose.
-The lack of Saved By the Bell reruns on basic cable.
-People that take forever in front of me at the drive thru ATM machine.
-When all you want is to make a really good turkey sandwich and you venture to the fridge only to find out that you’re all out of turkey. And cheese. And bread. And mayo.
-Canadians that do nothing but talk about how great
-Canadians.
-
-People who don’t use T9word when texting.
-NFL Live on ESPN in April instead of Baseball Tonight
-Dice-K.
-Hotels that don’t have wireless internet.
-When Johan throws a gem and the Twins don’t score any runs.
-Highlights of Lynx basketball on the local news.
-People that drive in the right lane of the interstate/freeway with their blinker on.
-People who make fun of me in
-The fact that people in
-“Head-On” commercials.
-People who really don’t have anything to complain about but continuously bitch about meaningless stuff anyways.
6 comments:
What about people that call the Interstate/Freeway the "Expressway"? I mean c'mon people, they have obviously never heard of a little thing called road construction.
What do you think the percentage of woman in NC, FL, and CA that think Lord Stanley is a cousin to Prince Harry, or men who wonder if he was the guy who invented the phillips head screwdriver?
Not only Lynx "highlights" (like there is such a thing) but the WNBA as a whole taking up valuble air time for such important sporting events as the STIHL Lumberjack Challenge or last nights cricket match between Sri Lanka and Paraguay. Did you catch that one? It truely was a sticky wicket.
- when people pretend to like the yankees just to get me going
- getting a text message that contains just one letter - 'k'
and i totally agree about NFL live. I cannot believe they have it on in JUNE! it pisses me off way more than it should.
-I hate people who use the expression: I'm being facetious
-I hate the words Dollop, Moist, and often (when people actually pronounce the T)
-I hate fat people who order a super sized big mac meal, but get a diet coke cuz they need to watch their weight
-I hate everything there is about the Boston Red Sox, especially their fans
-I hate Sport Center, and almost every show on ESPNRadio
-I hate stereotypical Vikings fans
-I hate cuddle whores, god I hate cuddle whores.
-I hate Mono.
-I hate Country music, especially when they sing about chevrolets, fords, or mercurys. I heard this song on the radio when i was dating anna, and lyrics to an actual country ballad went: "If Heaven were a pie, it'd be a cherry..." are you fucking kidding me?
-I hate Packer Fans, especially ones who sit in a bar on a wednesday night, eat cheesecurds, and talk about how awesome brett favre was in the superbowl that occured like fifteen years ago - oh wait, thats how all packer fans are!
-I hate the fact that I'm not sharing a bed with Jessica Alba
-I hate throwing up when its not alcohol related
-I hate people who wear socks with sandals
-I hate the fact that they remade dawn of the dead, because now, every time I talk about the original dawn of the dead, I have to include the word original.
-I hate white trash mothers who constantly scream at their kids when shopping at walmart.
-I hate people who still say pwned
-I also hated people who would sneer at me when they walked by as I smoked. Fucking self-righteous assholes.
I choose life.
I'm not being hyperbolic but honest: "Dirty Work" is the funniest movie I've ever seen. It's a cult classic, and I'm a part of the completely disorganized and evidently too quiet cult.
It kind of grinds my gears that Norm McDonald hasnt been seen or heard from in the last few years. He is the best worst comedy actor out there. Meaning that his acting is so horrible that its actualy hillarious. And yes, Dirty Work is one of the truly underappreciated comedies of the 1990's.
Post a Comment