Wednesday, December 2, 2009

NL Cy Young double dactyls

Haas' MLB award limricks got the rigid-forms-of-poetry part of my brain a tickin'. And wouldntyaknowit, one of the award winners this year, Timothy Lincecum, is eligible for a double dactyl poem! More amazingly, the NL Cy Young runner-up, Christopher Carpenter, is also a double dactyl!!!!!!


Here's yours, Tim:
Humphery Dumphery,
Timothy Lincecum,
Won Cy Young jewelry,
This year and last,

Certainly deserving,
Mandated ganja joke,
Ultra-diminutive,
But still throws fast.

And Chris, I know you didn't win, but it was a close vote. So you get one too:

Youngity Woungity
Christopher Carpenter
Has fixed ligament
Back to Cy form

Beaten just narrowly
Deserving cardinal
Incontrovertibly
No SABR storm

So, what we've learned from this is that double dactyls are good at pitching. It's the rule. Jonathan Papelbon, there's another one right there. You can keep your Fips and fly ball percentages. My fantasy teams from this day forward will consist of as many double dactyl pitchers I can get my hands on.

And don't be a wise-ass and bring up Jeremy Bonderman. Exception to the rule.

1 comment:

haasertime said...

it would be funny if the only genuine analysis found on Alright Hamilton were in the form of poetry.

I should probably learn how to write more than just limericks.