The Case for the Rays

Now that the team I hate the most (White Sox) is out of the playoffs and the team I live the closest to (Cubs) are out of the play offs and the team I love the most (Twins) never made it into the playoffs (thanks to the team I hate the most) I have decided I am going to root for the Tampa Bay Rays.

I made this decision immediately after the Twins lost the 1-0 tie-breaker game at US Cellular Field. I walked to the nearest Lids and purchased a brand new Rays cap. Side note: is anyone else upset they stopped making the wool New Era 59Fifty hats? The new polyester ones don't shrink at all and now I am in between sizes. I either get a headache every time I wear my hat or I have to look like this. Also not to mention why are the bottom of the bills black now? I think they should still be green like they were when we were little.

Back to my point: There are a lot of reasons why I think the AH! nation, hand full of people, should put their support behind the Rays. While most of these have been addressed by the national media at some point I think it's best we take a look at all of these in one list.

Payroll: The payroll of the Rays this year is $43,820,598. The next team remaining in the playoffs are the Phillies at $98,269,881. Over twice as much... While I know I don't necessarily want to reward teams for being stingy, in this case a lot of it has to do with the players being so young.

Young Players: The average age of the Rays is 27.4. That's only a little older than me! They are totally just like us! The Red Sox average age is 31.33. That's like the age of our grand parents!

Took the Devil Out: Is it a coincidence that when they take the "Devil" out of their names they suddenly stop being terrible? I think not, they are truly "a beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida."

Matt Garza: He was my favorite of the new young crop of pitchers. I still like him and I want to see him succeed.

Their Wikipedia Page: It lists Jason Tyner as a "Notable Former Player"

They are Terrible at Math: According to the team 9 = 8. Ridiculous, there is NO WAY nine equals eight. I think they meant 9 > 8 or maybe 9 ≥ 8.

Geography: Does anyone else thinks it's great that there is a team called the FLORIDA Marlins and then another team with the name of a city/metropolitan area within that state with their own baseball team? I mean what if it was the Chicago Cubs and the Illinois White Sox, that would be insanity!

Polite Fans: While I can't make a generalization like that and be 100% accurate, but come on they have a guy called the "Gentleman Heckler"

I think I have made my point. We can't have another Red Sox World Series Victory... there fans used to be cool when they could never win, now that they can they are just as bad as any other team. The Dodgers don't deserve to win the World Series let alone make the playoffs. The Phillies is the only other team I could maybe tolerate winning, because their fans are assholes already.