Home Runs, Instant Replay and Steroids: A Quick Thought

As I am sure many of you know, this year all of Major League baseball is expected to hit 1,000 fewer home runs than in 2006. There are other ways to explain this power drop, but the most popular has been the improved steroids testing.

Add that to the controversy around instant replay as this week had at least a half-dozen incorrectly called home runs or non-home runs. Is it just me or are there are a lot fewer towering blasts reaching the 20th or 30th row and a lot more home runs that go over the fence by a few inches.

The other question is; are these two things related? Is the same reason players aren't crushing the ball into the upper deck the same reason there are so many fewer home runs. And can this be blamed on steroids?

I wish I had the time and the patience to track down some statistics about this. But, I don't. It's all my observation and anecdotal evidence. If anyone has any solid statistics explaining, or disporving my hypotheis please let me know. Also, I am interested in hearing your thoughts not only about the lack of HR power of the big guys (Sheff, Fielder, etc.) but also the Twins, MLB as a whole and the talk about instant replay.

Aaron Gleeman's New Title Image

Aaron Gleeman, the most popular Twin blogger (It says so right there his visitor counter at the top), held a contest a month ago to find a new logo for his site. The classic blue block and white cursive font was going away and his vast readership was not only going to create the logos but also they were going to pick them!

I didn't read the post in time to send in a logo (I was in rural Illinois) but I did see the crop of logos that were being voted on when I returned to civilization.

None of them really tickled my fancy, so I quickly came up with a few ideas of my own. Here they are: (click on them for the full size)


I sent them to Gleeman knowing full well I missed the deadline. Sadly I didn't get a thank you, let alone an acknowledgment that I sent something in. (tear)

If you haven't been to Gleeman's site lately here is the image that won. It's not bad by any means it just doesn't appeal to me.


I am sure I only like them better than the ones submitted because they were my creation but I am interested in what you guys think. The last one is my favorite so I also made an AH! version of it.

I like the way we have it formated now, but I am always willing to change it up if the readership demands it.

When are we going to the Steve Wilkos show anyway?

I love the Steve Wilkos Show

It really has become one of my favorite shows on television. I keep emailing the show to try and have Steve read my comments on the air and send me a free t-shirt, but nothing yet. : (

Debuted on September 10th of 2007, the Steve Wilkos show has been considered a train wreck by most television critics, but because it is so bad, its great. If Steve was even slightly better at hosting television shows than he is, I probably would not care for it, but the combination of white trash, child molesting guests, gaping holes in the production, and Steve's emotional explosions make a perfect storm.

Here are some great clips of Steve in action.



i love the dude laughing in the background, its like a mirror image of me.




Here's another clip. Notice when he stumbles through sentences, he just raises his voice. Gold.

I just noticed that Steve has a myspace page it's wonderful. Steve

You can also check out www.stevewilkos.com and if you're ever bored enough to actually do it, then you might want to consider offing yourself.

When we go to Chicago this summer, can we please get free tickets to go to this show? please?

Friday Notes

By TwinsWin83

*It’s Mid-May and it would seem that the window through which to watch the surprising first-place Twins has closed as quickly as it opened. And not to be a negative Ned or anything but it looks like it could be closing up for the year.

We all knew the teams many questions coming into this season had created an atmosphere of lowered expectations and thus set the bar much lower for this Twins squad then it has been in nearly a decade, and maybe that’s why it seemed to be such a shocker when May 12th rolled around and the Twins were all alone in first place. The assumed powers of the AL Central haven’t played anywhere near as well as the “experts” predicted they would, but that looks like it’s about to change.

Now, I’d like to see the young and upstart Twins hang in there as long as possible, (you never know what can happen if it enters late-August and early September and your team is still in striking range) but after seeing what Cleveland’s pitching staff has done over the past week I can’t help but wonder if the Indians are about ready to take off full steam ahead and leave the rest of the mediocre AL Central as a distant spec in their review mirror.

There is no way the Indians starting pitchers can continue the record-setting streak they have been on, but the fact remains that no one else in the division has a starting staff right now that is even comparable to Cleveland’s. People keep asking, “when is this team going to start hitting again?” and connect the dots by saying if they do start hitting like most assumed they would that they will run away with the division. That’s a fine theory but if their pitchers continue to throw like they are they won’t need to mash the ball to win games, and that’s what is scary.

*I don’t normally watch Deal or No Deal anymore but I have caught a bit of the last couple where they take the show on the road and host it in a far off nation where they have their own version of the game show. The catch is they not only use American money but they also bring American contestants along with. And to top it off, the amount of money they give away makes the money each of these countries gives to their contestants look like chump change.

Example? Sure. When they took the show to South Africa the most the game show there had ever given away was $38,000. The first offer to the American contestant was (after she knocked out the $1,000,000 case none-the-less) $73,000. And of course she scoffed at it, turned it down and moved on. Now I’m as proud to be an American as the next Uncle Sam down the street, but its crap like this that makes people from other countries dislike the “greedy American.”

*Is it even worth watching the NBA playoffs? Can’t they just let us know who the home team is in each game and we will just assume they won?

*Brandon Webb is good. It’s nice to see a righty workin’ it like that.

*Did anyone see the interview with a pissed off Billy Wagner yesterday? Hilarious. Not only did he rip the reporters talking to him but then lashed out at his teammates who continue to bail after losses to avoid the media questions, leaving them to the veterans like Wagner. Profanity-laden tirades are always great, but they are even better when they are warranted.

*What is so great about Don Cherry? Unless you know a bunch of Canadians like I sadly do, you underestimate just how much they worship this ridiculous character. I’ve seen enough of him to know his analyst skills are average at best. So why the cult following from an entire nation of hockey bums? Maybe it’s the goofy jackets or his crazy accent, I don’t know.

*The Pohlad’s company is looking to buy a new FM station and turn it into a 24-hour sports station. Do we really need another one?

*Soup, my wife and I are moving to South Dakota this August, you have any helpful advice for us? Like how to avoid wild coyote attacks?

Heckler's Prospectus: How to Heckle the Twins

The following is from the Heckler's Prospectus. This has to be one of the worst posts I have ever read, other than the stuff I have written here for AH! I don't dislike it because it's about heckling the Twins, I dislike it because it's not funny. At all.

Baker, Scott – Hold a sign with the date August 31st, 2007 on it, the date when Baker took a perfect game into the 9th inning, but walked the first batter he faced to end the perfect game and then gave up a hit to spoil the no-hitter. It will be a reminder to how close to perfection Baker got, and how he’s never going to get any closer.

Blackburn, Nick – From the town of Ada, Oklahoma (population 16,008), imply that the reason Jeff Reed, the town’s founder, named the place after his oldest daughter in 1891 was because he was, in fact, boinking her. This obviously started a tradition of incest that, from where you’re sitting, it looks like the town still maintains.

Bonser, Boof – Comment that you were unsure if you should laugh or cry when you heard that Bonser got his “Boof!” nickname because that’s the sound he makes whenever he sits up, since he's enormous and all. However, let him know that you decided to laugh after all, because you can’t not laugh at fat people.

Casilla, Alexi – One of the fastest players in the majors, comment that the speed really doesn’t help much if he can’t fucking get on base! If security tries to pull you away, alert them that you have Casilla on your fantasy team, which they'll be able to relate to.

Cuddyer, Michael – During the many off hours in the baseball locker room, Cuddyer performs magic acts for his teammates. Thank him loudly for showing you that amazing “hide the salami” trick of his.

Everett, Adam – According to Wikipedia, Everett is often mistaken for actor DJ Qualls, best known for having sex with that enormous black lady in Road Trip. Make the same mistake.

Gómez, Carlos – Nicknamed “Go-Go” because of his blazing speed, let him in on the dirty secret that he’s actually named so due to his feminine moves in the discotheque.

Harris, Brendan – From the College of William and Mary, infer from Harris’ throwing motion that Mary must have taught the baseball program.

Hernández, Liván – The half-brother of Orlando Hernández, observe that it looks like El Duque got all the “stud” genes while Liván got all the fat ones.

Kubel, Jason – For a particularly appetizing heckle, substitute the “K” and “b” in his last name for a “Str” and “d”. That should make his mouth water, which in turn will make him question his sanity, seeing as he just got hungry thinking about a large Austrian pastry shaped like himself.

Lamb, Mike – Nicknamed “Lambo”, a play on the Sylvester Stallone character who just won’t die, suggest that it might be more appropriate to place an “e” after the “m”. Follow this up by making an L-7 symbol with your thumbs and forefingers.

Liriano, Francisco – His wife’s name is Johanna, which is strange seeing as many people consider him the Second Coming of Johan Santana. Stick a cigar in your mouth and psychoanalyze that one.

Mauer, Joe – Tell him that while you think it’s great Mauer is signed long enough to see the team’s new outdoor natural grass stadium open in 2010, it’s going to be weird seeing him throw out the first pitch in a wheelchair, the only possibly outcome after catching so many games on that horrible Metrodome astroturf.

Monroe, Craig – Seeing as his mom is strangely named Marilyn, comment on how much “usage” you got out of the December 1953 issue of Playboy.

Morneau, Justin – From Canada, let Justin know that while you’re sure his family is excited he’s a major league baseball player, they’d be much prouder if he was a hockey player.

Nathan, Joe – One of the best closers in baseball, comment that it’s strange the team would trade away Johan Santana yet sign Nathan to a long-term deal. Follow that by commenting that it’s even stranger that a player of Nathan’s caliber would sign a deal with a team that clearly won’t win until sometime after 2015.

Neshek, Pat – One of the new breed of blogger-players – where he posted this amazing video of him getting hit in the jaw with a ball while pitching in college – dress up like Nick Denton and make fun of his amateurish web hits and click-throughs.

Perkins, Glen – Finally, the perfect reason to perform your all-haiku interpretation of the hit Ed Wood film Glen or Glenda! Don’t waste this opportunity.

Punto, Nick – In 2007, he posted the lowest slugging percentage of any major league player with at least 200 at-bats. This makes him officially the most worthy recipient of the “pussy” heckle in all of baseball.

Redmond, Mike – Comment that it’s too bad Joe Mauer is on the roster, seeing as Redmond has the skills to be a starting catcher in the majors. It’s a good thing Redmond doesn’t have a bone of selfishness – or self-worth – in his body.

Rincón, Juan – Suspended in 2005 after testing positive for illegal performance-enhancing drugs, suggest that, if he really needed help that much, he should have just asked his doctor about Viagra.

Slowey, Kevin – Spread the rumor that his last name is actually a nickname he received in high school because of his hilarious learning disability.

Young, Delmon – Dressing up like an umpire carrying a custom-made “bat shield” should suffice.

There you have it. Deadspin actually link to that drivel. If this is supposed to be deadpan, I clearly missed the message. I think we could come up with better stuff ourselves in the comments. Come'on it will be fun!

Money Making Idea?

Just tossing this out there real quick: I want to see what the good people of AH! have to say about my idea. I love college rivalries; from large D1 state schools to small D3 schools a good healthy hate for another college has always been entertaining to me. I thought it would be a cool idea to have a website where you can order up any college or university of your choice in the below "community college" form. (Not that there is anything wrong with a community college, I just think it's a funny jab at another school)

For example: maybe Wuters wants a Florida State Community College shirt to go under is old UF starter jacket? Copyright/Trademark infringement might be an issue but I don't think the words "Harvard Community College" is trademarked, but I could be wrong. Usuing a modified logo (as seem below) might be an issue, however.

This was the idea that spawned the larger, every-college idea. I don't know, today was a slow day so I thought I'd see what you guys thought. Don't worry I won't be sad if you think it's ridiculously stoopid.

7th worst franchise in all of sport?

I stumbled across this the other day: A list of the ten worst franchises in pro sports. The Minnesota Twins made the list, coming in at number seven. Here's what was written:

"Moneyball" is to baseball what frugal is to cheap; it's a creative way of saying, "we're not going to pay for our stars or reward our veterans who have earned their keep." Sabermetrics and scientific stats are used to evaluate players and give a better indication of their worth, but teams like the Minnesota Twins use this strategy to kiss their superstars goodbye at the trade deadline or the first day of free agency. The Twins constantly sell proven veterans for prospects and draft picks, but when those youngsters finally develop, they get shipped away to start the cycle again. The Twins incessantly look to the future and winning now is not a priority. Translation: the Twins care more about the dollars than about winning.

Ahh, to be young and innocent enough to believe the Twins have a shot. (David Sherman / Getty Images)

Puzzling personnel plays: Trading Johan Santana and failing to re-sign Torii Hunter.

Remember ... 2002: A year removed from a contraction battle, the Minnesota Twins (under first-year manager Ron Gardenhire) make it to the American League Championship Series. With a solid roster and a light payroll, 2002 would have been the perfect season to sacrifice some future players to add some veteran players at the trade deadline and make a serious run. Instead, the Twins entered the playoffs with the youngest roster in the league and never stood a chance in the ALCS after beating fellow cheapskates, the Oakland Athletics, in the first round.

Can you pick out the basis of the authors argument?

UPDATE: Looks like the readers of FOX Sports might disagree. After over eighty-one thousand votes, 2% thought the Twins were the worst franchise in pro sports. I guess that means about 1,500 people voted for us, but I think we can safely say they are at least 1,400 of those votes came from AJ Pierzynski refreshing his browser.

Some of the best comments from the article:
"The Twins? They've won their division FOUR TIMES since 2002, averaging 80 wins a season with a .546 winning percentage since '01. Guess that makes you a BLEEP. Or maybe you're just mad because you're wife's not giving you any." - Jhawk08

"This retard Golokav (and apologies to actual retards here) should be paid less than baby-sitters for the time spent creating this Top 10. First--why does a small market/newer put automatically qualify you as bad franchise?" - Razorblades

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BLEEP THE TWINS KICK BLEEP!!! the guy below me is damn smart he actually nows what he's talking about twins are at the top of the AL Central. and if you think the twins franchise BLEEPs F U Kerby Pukket, Kent Herbeck, Tony Oliva, oh yea the all BLEEP, NOT" - QAZ