Old Faces, New Places

A look back at the off-season moves

By Michael Haas

I had so many questions at the end of last season about potential personnel moves, and I was genuinely excited to see where Andruw Jones and Lew Ford would end up. But a lot of stuff has happened since November, and I can't even recall many of the trades, acquisitions and signings. Let's take a look back, in order to look forward..

Today we'll look at the careers and new deals of..


Andruw Jones and Torii Hunter - City of Lights - A hall of fame type centerfielder was somehow eclipsed on the free agent market by an older gentlenman with a lot less impressive resume - Torii Hunter. It just goes to show that ones 'contract year' is very very important. Andruw Jones had a bad year in '07, hitting .222/26/94 and which earned him a 2-year $36 million contract with the Dodgers. Hunter hit .287/28/107, and was rewarded with a five-year, $90 million contract from the Angels. Wowza. Here's a look at their career stats:
























So just remember: Andruw Jones is now a Dodger. He'll be good too.



Next time on Old Faces, New Places, we'll take a look at the Bedard and Santana trades. Have a good weekend.

Wednesday Note -

It's been quiet around here lately. It's probably because February sucks and the green of Fort Myers seems so far away.

I've been keeping up with Spring Training news by reading the three Star Trib baseball writers:

LaVelle

Joe

Howard


Quite frankly, it's kind've boring. I'm having more fun watching the New Twins Stadium Webcam than I am discussing Philip Humbers elbow. There are other things going on too, like the transportation bill tax thing, the Wild slide and the Canseco Birthday Party headlines.

It's hard to be excited about a team that I've never seen play. This is like, a whole new squad. Somebody should compile a list of spring training games being broadcast on television.

Picture of the day:

Vigo the Carpathian

That's all I have for right now. Questions? Comments? Concerns? post a comment below.

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

By Michael Haas

Editors Note: In a truly unprofessional turn of events, amateur blogger and Twins rube Michael Haas writes a blogpost telling Twins first baseman Justin Morneau to abandon love and focus on baseball. Unbelievably selfish.

The evidence is overwhelming. In that wonderful season of 2006, Justin Morneau helped the Twins capture the division and he won the MVP award in the process. He was a swingin' bachelor, living with eventual batting champ Joe Mauer in a swingin' bachelor pad in St. Paul. Mauer and Morneau did everything together. They said good morning and goodnight to eachother, and ate Jimmy Johns and hit baseballs in between.

But then Justin Morneau got a girlfriend. He moved out of Mauer's place during the offseason, and stumbled through 2007. As he and his girlfriend got more serious, his numbers declined - he only hit seven bombs during the second half of '07.

Justin Morneau is a better baseball player when he isn't in love. That's why I'm suggesting 50 ways for JM to leave his lover.

1. slip out the back Jack
2. make a new plan, Stan (you don't need to be coy, Roy)
3. hop on the bus, Gus, (you don't need to discuss much)
4. Just drop off the key, Lee
5. Jump on a plane, Jane
6. Write a little poem, Jerome
7. Twins-o-gram on the Jumbotron, Ron

and these other ones that I found here:

8. Push him out a tree, Bree
9. Feed her to a shark, Mark
10. Harvest his kidney, Cindy
11. Make him all porous, Doris
12. Feed him some ricin, Tyson
13. Get kvetchin,’ Gretchen
14. Chop off his organ, Morgan
15. Throw her down a gorge, George
16. Punch her with an awl, Paul
17. Fake your own death, Beth
18. Hire Chaz Palminteri, Mary
19. Don’t let her fool ‘ya, Julia
20. Drop an anvil on his dick, Chick
21. Toss him off the seventh story, Laurie
22. Pulp his scrotus, Otis
23. Bury her alive, Clive
24. Run him over with a trolley, Molly
25. Feed her to the capitalist sharks! Marx!
26. Make her write a will, Bill
27. Chisel off his knees, Louise
28. Switch to the whip, Chip
29. Give her a double-barreled hug, Doug
30. Bake him in a tureen, Doreen
31. Cement him in a well, Mel
32. Bump her off a ridge, Midge
33. Start erasin,’ Jason
34. Select her sister for a mate, Nate
35. Try to poke her mom, Tom
36. Slip her a mickey, Dickey
37. Make her whip corn, Rip Torn
38. Subtract a limb, Tim
39. Make it hard for him to piss, Kris
40. Set fire to his hair, Blair
41. Hit him with a mace, Chase
42. Cook her in a stew, Lew
43. Drown him off your yacht, Dot
44. Chomp on his penis, Enos
45. Fit her for a spear, Dear
46. Staple him to the bed, Fred
47. Drown him in the Seine, Le Glen
48. Apply the hurt, Burt
49. Amputate daily, Haley
50. Smother her with malice, Alice

Or Morneau could just remind her that any kids they have together will be Canadian.

Paul Simon - 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

Newest Twin Pushes For Cy Young Award

By M. Haas

When the 1997 season was over, Livan Hernandez sat back and reflected on his rookie year. He had accomplished a lot with the Marlins - won nine games, finished second in the rookie of the year vote, and most importantly, helped the Fish miraculously win the World Series. At age 22, he had already won a championship, and winning two games of the series himself. So he set his sights on his next career goal: winning the Cy Young Award.

It's now 11 years later, and Livan Hernandez is at spring training with the Twins. Now 33 years old, the veteran has yet to win the award. He talked about his fresh approach to the game, and his adjustments he'll make to help him further dominate hitters and win the AL Cy Young:

"As a starting pitcher, you know you have a reliever, but you want to start and finish the game," Hernandez said. "I'm not the kind of guy who likes to throw five innings. I'm the one who sometimes gives the bullpen a rest. Sometimes it doesn't happen like that, I'm human. But I'm the kind of guy that's always working, working to stop it when I'm struggling."

Hernandez was surprised to learn the two time Cy Young award winner Johan Santana will not be around, and was in fact traded to the National League. He admitted it would be great if Johan were with the Twins, able to give him tips on winning the award. But with Johan in the National League, it does increase Livan's chances to win.

"It's difficult for me to come and change leagues," Hernandez said. "But sometimes it ends up being something better."

Not So Mid-Season Wolves Review

by Mark Waters

Welp, It's well past the halfway point, but it's the all-star weekend, so close enough. I made a Timberwolves assessment/predictions post at the beginning of the 2007-2008 NBA season. And thus far, I'm pretty dead-on. I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t.

So why don't we do a before/after for anyone who still cares about the wolvies. From here on out, I'll italicize the before, and Bolded (I know this isn't a word) the fun, current stuff.



ORIGINAL POST:


I just want to start by saying this 2007 T'Wolves team is going to be terrible. But that's completely acceptable. I know the interest is down for most Minnesota sports fans, but I'm very excited to watch these youngins come together. I figure I'll do some get to know 'ems and discuss other reasons as to why I think my favorite basketball team has a chance to be a force in the not-so-distant future.

FOLLOW-UP:

Welp, they're terrible. 10-41, with the 2nd worst record in the league. They are on pace to finish with 16 wins, and if Randy Foye didn't miss all but 8 games thus far, that pace would be closer to 25 wins (still terrible).


Al Jefferson - Sky is the limit for this PF who helps at Center sometimes. He has already established himself as a pure scorer and rebounder. He's not a shot blocker, but his power and numerous post up moves make him an elite PF for years to come. I can see how he and Mark Blount didn't get along back in Boston. Al Jefferson has a post presence, is good at basketball, and actually works hard. They are polar opposites.

He's averaging 21.2 ppg, and 12.1 rebounds(5th in the NBA). His defense has been better than I predicted it would, so having this guy in his early 20s, who also is going to earn 10 million per year less than KG is turning out to be worth it. He is only going to get better, BUT his transition defense needs alot of improvement, and with a lack of able Centers, he has been playing out of position for the majority of the season. If we can pick up a decent Center through the draft, or via trade, then he will do even better at his natural PF position. It's funny that Miami is the only team with a more pitiful record. That's the Blount/Davis tag-team for yah.


Ryan Gomes - Celtics Writers/Fans/Followers all agree that this young swingman has the potential to be a solid Small Forward in this league. He can quietly put up 15-20 points on any given night, and has a great attitude/work ethic. Unlike Ricky Davis, Gomes will actually make his teammates better. Expect him to score around 15 ppg this season as our starting SF.

Ryan is Averaging 11.6 points and 5.5 rebounds per game. I had predicted his scoring to be a little higher, but 12 and 5 per night is fine. I project he'll put up career numbers similar to these. As of now, he is a better overall player than Brewer, but Brewer needs minutes to progress. I really don't have a problem with this part of Wittman's lineup decisions.


Corey Brewer - It will take some time before he becomes a key factor - when he puts on about 15 lbs of muscle, you'll notice. He was one of NCAA's best defenders for the last 2 seasons and is a shooting threat as well as a slasher. He has already received numerous comparisons to a young Scottie Pippen due to his size and athletic ability. Again, it might take a couple years for him to adjust to the league, but he will be a valueable piece to this organization sooner rather than later.

Corey's defense is right on par, but his shooting is awful. Lack of confidence is playing a large part in his shooting woes, but yikes. The young Scottie Pippen comparisons are laughable now, but as I've said, once he puts on some more muscle, his production will improve. He is already one of the best, if not the best defenders on the crappy Wolves, but if we can get more scorers around him, and he gains some weight, he could have a Bruce Bowen type role.


Rashad McCants - tough call on McCants. His defense has looked better than last season, and has been scoring throughout all of preseason. Only 2 games in, it's foolish to make bold predictions on how well he'll produce, but all indications are saying that he should be a legitimate 2 guard. His streakiness as a shooter is my main concern. Hopefully he has cured that, or will cure that as he gets older. The Wolves need him to step up and be one of the leaders this season.

It's still a tough call, because Wittman isn't given him enough minutes. His defense has been poor, he turned the ball over alot earlier this season, but he still is a real scoring threat on a team that can't score. Recently, Wittman and McCants butted heads and his lack of playing time is doing little to boost his trade value. My biggest fear is that Wittman will continue to limit his minutes, resulting in McCants to become even more disenchanted with this organization, become a free agent, and tear it up on another roster, while we get nothing in return. I wish Wittman would give him more minutes, so he can up his points per game, and trade him for either a first round pick, or perhaps package him and Walker for an expiring contract to free up more future cap space.


Craig Smith - I love this guy, but he is simply too short to ever become a great player. His scoring ability has picked up where it left off, but he still isn't good enough defensively to be a starter. His role as a scorer off the bench is good enough for a favorable contract extension.

Smith is averaging 10 points and 5 rebounds per game as an undersized, backup Power Forward. Not too shabby for a 2nd round draft pick. But being only 6'7", he will never have the ability to be an effective defender in the paint. We still should resign him, because he is just fine as a bench player. Or shop him around to a contender this season, and see if they offer anything worthwhile in return.


Randy Foye - Injured (which sucks) but when he returns there is no reason why he won't score 15-20 ppg. However, he isn't a true point guard, and this team already has enough 2 guards. Hopefully he can develope into a permanent role as our starting point guard.

Well, he was out with a knee injury for much longer than I expected. He has looked rather rusty in the 8 total games he's played this season, but once his minutes get more consistent, then he should be putting up similar numbers to last season. My goal is for him to get about 30 minutes per game as a combo guard.


Sebastian Telfair - If he can keep his head screwed on, within a couple years, this kid should develop into a fine point guard. This team desperately needs a true point.

Telfair is really growing on me. He's averaging 9.5 points per game, and his 3.32 Assist to Turnover ratio ranks 9th in the NBA. He is the first pure point guard we've had since Cassell, and at only 22 years of age, he still has room for growth. I hope we resign him.


Gerald Green - he is only what 20 years old? People have been very negative towards him, already calling him a bust. I'd like to see him get alot more playing time this season, but so far after 2 games he's played a total of 1 minute. Given playing time, he can be an energetic scoring threat.

Randy Wittman pisses me off. On a team that is in playoff contention, I can understand why Green would get such inconsistent minutes. But since we are a bad offensive team, with the 2nd worst record, there's no excuse why Green's minutes have been so limited. I still don't know what to make of him, other than the lack of playing time has ruined any of his trade value, and that he is as good as gone. What a waste.


I don't feel like mentioning Ratliff, Antoine Walker, Micheal Doleac, etc. because I really don't care about them. They're not that good, old, injury proned, and probably wont be on this team next year. Buckner has a chance to be decent, but the verdict is still clearly out with him.

Ratliff, surprise surpise, has been injured virtually the entire season, Doleac has to be the whitest looking player in the NBA, and Buckner lives on the end of the bench. Walker and his love for launching 3's is painful, but I'd rather have him launching 3's as opposed to Blount.


On top of acquiring these good young prospects guess what? Blount, Davis, Hassell, Nate James, and Troy Hudson are no longer on our roster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All five are losers with terrible, long term contracts. McHale must be smoking drugs...or Hoiberg is playing a huge role in these moves. (more likely the latter)

I still think Hoiberg is responsible for the wise, cap-friendly moves. Gotta give McHale some credit though with the Garnett Trade. By next year, Jefferson will have his first of many allstar appearances AND for half the cap space that an aging Garnett had. Gomes and Telfair should be fairly cheap, productive players for years to come, and we still get 2 future first round draft picks from Boston. I'm telling you, 3 years from now people will look back on this particular trade and say the Wolves made a great move. But don't get me wrong, McHale still sucks.


A 15-25-win team this year will bring in a top 5 pick in what looks to be another deep draft. With all these crappy contracts that were bought out, and/or will expire within the next 2 seasons, this payroll will fall well under the cap allowing us to bring in a solid free agent or two to go along with a young, up and coming Wolves team. And I don't buy the "Good luck getting a free agent to come to Minnesota" crap. If you can pay them and you have a good team, they'll play in Mystery Alaska.

As of today, the Wolves are on pace to win 16 games, but because Foye has only been back for the past 8, I predict 20 wins by the end of the season. With Maimi (who is currently in last place) obtaining Shawn Marion for an injured dinosaur in Shaq, they should pass us in the wins column. We are only ahead of them by one game. A history of bad luck with the lottery should land the wolves 4th or 5th in the draft. Please pick a nice, big, defensive-minded Center...PLEASE.


Come on Fair-Weather Minnasodah Rubes!!! Jump back on the T-Wolves train, cuz a few years from now, we're gonna be a serious contender. We're coooommmiinnnnnn!

Seriously, lets jump on the bandwagon and go to some games. They are practically giving away tickets.

Blogging Daytona 500

By 606 Taylor

Yeehaw. The following post should be read in a obnoxious southern accent. This is the first time any of us have ever watched NASCAR. We're going to watch the whole thing. We've got our Budweiser Tall Boys in one hand and our Dale Jr. handkerchief in the other. We're all strapped in for the race. We're more excited for this than a hot southern summer's day is long.

Nothin' better than eatin a skin on wiener, drinking a Bud Silo, watching a race.... if you don't daydream atleast once a week about the day Kirk Binger won the 82nd Nagano Rally in the number 56 Potpourri car I need to ask you 2 questions. Do you sit when you pee and does your country celebrate Christmas....

before the start..... biggity biggity biggity biggity boo here we go!

if you don't get torn up like a can of kraut over the Daytona 500, you might not be an American

- lap 4 - Tony Stewart got a push from Denny Hamlin, "and theres the old rod and reel we're gonn' see him pull him right back in"

lap 6 - "and thats what i call workin both sides of the street....you give a little then you GO!"

The Daytona is 500 miles, 200 laps.....

At lap 19 Mike the Machete Haas yelled "dammit Mears you're going to blow out you're restrictor plates" You're as useless as a football bat!!!!"


lap 23- I don't think I've ever seen anybody that can make me say Wow more than that 18 car, nobody can go 3 wide like him....

lap 47 - Zoning out, losing interest. The announcers are talking in their southern drawl about tires and lap times, and all I can say is: What are they talking about?

Lap 50 - I wonder if Michael Cuddyer and Matt LeCroy like nascar. They are from Virginia or around there, right?

We're arguing about whether nascar is a sport and if the drivers are athletes. The answer is no.

Lap 54 - When the hell is Minnesota going to get a professional race track? I want to watch cars going in a circle in person!

Lap 60 - Andy says, 'oh my gosh, Kahne just turned right!' But Andy is still learning left from right. Nascar drivers only turn left.

Commercial break - just saw ads for American Idol and a Larry the cable guy movie. We've decided that we will blog while we view those too.

End of Race - whoa what happened? I fell asleep. The experiment is over...I still don't like race car watching. It was fun to live in that world, if only for a moment.

Top Story Lines as we head to Fort Myers

By M. Haas

With pitchers and catchers reporting to spring training on Sunday, we'll take a look at some intriguing position battles and general questions that we'll follow until heading north.

- Liriano

The first question is, when will he arrive in the states? Apparently he's being held up by visa problems. I had no idea that drunken driving charges could affect your credit. I'm switching to mastercard.

There will be many, many stories on Lirianos health, his pitches and his positive mental attitude. But his road to recovery and how different the new F-Bomb will be is definitely of importance to the Twins of 2008 and beyond. His devasatating slider was his out pitch when he posted a 2.16 ERA in 2006. Will the slider be there, and if not, can Liriano still make bitches sit down?

- Joe Mauer

How tall will he be? This goofball hasn't stopped growing yet, and he turns 25 soon. It seems that the double duty of catching and growing is really taking it's toll on Mauer's health. It'll be interesting to see how his body holds up through spring training. Has anyone ever thought of moving him to a different position? Maybe like third base? I'm a genius!

- Fort Myers

Why is Fort Myers a 'Fort' ??

- Carlos Gomez and the centerfield saga.

Sounds like a pretty cool name for a band. Center is the only position that is more or less wide open. The Twins have outfielders Jason Kubel and Michael Cuddyer, along with new arrivals Delmon 'The Truth' Young and Craig MonRoe. But I'm not sure any of those folks want or can play CF. And what about Jason Pridie? Maybe Carlos Gomez, the key prospect in the Santana deal, can showcase his maturity and awesomeness to grab the starting role. If he's not starting opening day, he should be out there at some point this season.

- The new guys

Can the newly acquired Twins play baseball? Can they earn our respect and admiration? Do they have personalities? I'm talkin about Adam Everett, Mike Lamb, Kevin Mulvey, Phil Humber, Livan Hernandez, and those other guys that I'm forgetting.

- The rotation and Boof's fat ass

It's all youth behind big Levon Hernandez. Someone will have to step up: Scott Baker, Kevin Slowey, Boof and Liriano. There are reports that Boof has lost a bunch of weight, but AH! would like to go on the record as saying that when Boof reports on Sunday, it will be discovered that he has gained weight. A lot of weight.

This looks to be one of the most interesting seasons in recent memory, and the whole thing kicks off on Sunday.